I only want to be accepted
by DarkRaven-04
Summary: All she wants is to be accepted. Her family hate her. at school shes a mudblood. Can she see acceptance in the dark? read and review
1. chapter 1: blood is thicker than water

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I only want to be excepted

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Chapter one: Blood is thicker than water.

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A.N. I thought that I might give you a bit of background info on some of the character before I start the chapter because you might get confused. YOU MUST READ THIS OR IT WON'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

ALEX: 19. Hermione's cousin, their mums are sisters. Alex is a deep dark person, who likes a lot of heavy metal rock music such as slipknot. Some may label her as a 'Goth' because she wears a lot of dark makeup and clothes. Alex also has two brothers, Sam 17, and Jason 18. She has a sister Leah 22 and a niece Gemma 3 (Leah's daughter.) She's not only her cousin but her sister. Their mums are sisters which makes them cousins but they also share the same father. Which also means that Scot, John and Lianne are her brother and sisters as well. They do not act like brother and sisters and always reefer to each other as cousin.

SAM: 17, Hermione's cousin. Only six months apart and she actually gets on pretty well with Scot, he is quite protective over her. He and Jason work as paint and decorators and they both smoke a lot of cigarettes and cannabis.

JASON: 18, they constantly argue. Very similar to Hermione which is a bad thing as they always argue. Has a very violent temper and usually results in him hitting someone. Smoking increases his anger.

LEAH: 22 Has a 3 year old daughter Gemma. Not in contact with the baby's father. Always arguing with Jason and Alex.

TERESA: Mother of the above four. Sister to Hermione's mother. Always had pent up anger towards her sister for sleeping with her boyfriend. Never really liked Hermione as its proof of the split between her and her partner.

Other people that will be mentioned in this chapter will be:

AMY: 33, Another of Hermione's cousin but this time from a different sister. Has two children Charlie 13, and Gregg 11, and is NOT a capable mother. Amy has beaten them and neglected them from a very young age. Jason is very protective over Charlie. Amy does a lot of different drugs and drinks a lot of alcohol. She has been in prison for drug dealing and prostitution.

CHARLIE: 13, daughter of Amy. Charlie usually spends the holidays with Hermione because she hates her mother. She always confides in Hermione and constantly owls her when she is at school.

DANNY: 21, Son of Alice. Another of her mum's sisters. He is a lazy layabout who was in care from the age of 6 till he was 17. He came back to the family and lived with his mum. He doesn't work or do anything apart from smoke. She doesn't really have much to do with Danny because he never liked the fact she was a witch.

Ok sorry that was pretty long, but you'll be really confused if you don't read it. Most of these incidents, feelings, arguments have been experienced. Please do not read if you are easily offended. There is rape in this chapter.

You have been warned!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has any association with J.K Rowling or Harry Potter. I do however claim the rights to the plot and the OC'S.

As she sits alone in her bedroom, trying not to think about the pain of the bruise on her eye and cheek. She wonders what she has done in her life to deserve any of this family bull shit she has been subjected too.

She hates coming home for the summer because she is back to the chaos of her family. At least at school she can get away from the traumas of her home life. She has her friends and school work to preoccupy her mind. Today is the second week of her holidays and all she wants to do is escape.

Hermione Granger is a 16 year old girl who has grown up around a large family and now has grown to hate them. She hates every member of her immediate and distant family for one reason or another. She hates her mother for lying to her for years about her father, brothers and sisters. She hates her father that she never knew, he was around yes, but never treated her like a daughter just as some young girl who happened to live with them. She hates her grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins.

Sometimes she wonders whether she is adopted. She is nothing like her family, for one, she is a witch. No other person in her family, shows the slightest bit of magic in their blood. She is a very talented girl with a gift that her family don't understand. She isn't an outcast exactly, but they always penalise her for it. They will make snide comments and judgements and make fun of her. They don't understand her gift. This really hurts her, having her family bully her about being a witch and different. She gets enough of it at school because she is Muggle born.

Everywhere she goes she isn't accepted. All she wants is to be accepted. Hermione is smart. Her family are not exactly well known her their intelligence apart from Hermione, she does have a brain and uses it well. She doesn't have a criminal record or do drugs. Every member over the age of 18 has one or takes drugs or does both. She doesn't have a violent streak either. She is not like her family at all. Her only escape from them is to read or write. All she wants is to be accepted.

You may think that she is one of these lonely girls who sits in her room, slitting her wrists at everybody else's perfect existence, but she's not. She's an outgoing, lively, friendly girl, who loves to read but it doesn't mean she spends all her time reading. She has a select group or close friends and is always surrounded by more friends. She is accepted by these to an extent but none of them no the burning fire she as in her soul that has grown to hate over the years. None of them know anything about her family scares. She chooses not to tell them. It's her life so why should anybody else be concerned with it. She feared that they wouldn't believe her anyway. All she wants is to be accepted. Some of the things her family have done is just ridiculous and is something you might find out of a book, but for Hermione it's her life and she has to live it.

Already this summer she has watched her cousin Alex move out of her home and in with her because her mother (her aunt Teresa) accused her of stealing £200. She has had Charlie cry to her because Amy has yet again beaten her. This time it was because Charlie wanted to spend the night at her friends house instead of going to her Nan's house. She didn't deserve that. Nobody did. She had also been in the room when Jason beat Sam over the head with a glass ash tray because Scot had picked the phone up to Jason's girlfriend. It had been really frightening to witness that. They had been arguing and Hermione was sitting in the living room waiting for Jason to take her home, the next thing she knew Jason had picked up an ashtray and threw it at Sam. There was silence and all Hermione could see was blood dripping down Sam's head. She felt sick to the stomach. Sam stood there paralysed not knowing what to do or say.

He survived with a mild concussions, and eight stitches in his head. You can probably see why Hermione wants to escape her family now.

She has had to watch, hear about and be dragged into one problem or another concerning the fucked up family life. Everyday is a new chapter in her family's life and to an outsider it's laughable. So why should today be any different? Well there is a little difference, and today Jason gave her a nice set of cuts and bruises because she expressed an opinion.

FLASHBACK

Hermione woke up from the shouting she heard from down stairs. She groaned and got out of bed. Grabbing her dressing gown she starts to walk down the stairs and the shouts become clearer.

'I shouldn't have to take her anywhere!'

She recognised this voice as Alex. She'd been staying with them while she gets her new place sorted. They had always got on pretty well and yesterday they had gone to the cinema for Alex's 19th birthday. It was just them two.

'She's your cousin, and 13! Imagine how she felt when she found out you didn't include her!'

She knew this voice to, it was Jason and he was pissed off. Looking at the clock at the bottom of the stairs she could see that it was a Saturday 10.45am. She decided to go into the kitchen where they where and get a drink, hopefully calm the two of them down.

'You know full well I don't get on with Charlie so why should I take her out on _my_ birthday?'

'So you take Hermione out and you don't take her?'

'Hermione is older and I don't have to take care of her.'

'You don't have to take care of Charlie!'

This is when Hermione walked in, they didn't notice she was there and continued to argue. She hadto figured out why they were shouting. Alex never took Charlie to the pictures and Jason was pissed off at this.

'John it's my choice who I wanted to take. And besides she has a mother! She could have taken her.'

'Her mother doesn't even like her! You are one right bitch you know that? How can you take that- that- WITCH and not take Charlie?'

'If you were so worried why didn't you take her? And don't call me a witch likes it a bad thing.'

They both turned to see Hermione leaning against the counter top with a drink in her hand.

'Who the hell asked you to speak Witch? And I couldn't take her I was working!'

'I'll speak whenever I want thanks Jason, I live here.'

'O fuck off, this doesn't concern you.'

'Actually it does if you talk about me and wake me up.'

He turned away from her and continued to shout at Alex.

'I can't believe you would be this spiteful Alex. You know what Amy does to her!'

'I couldn't care less. What has Amy or Charlie or YOU ever done for me. I don't owe you anything!'

'Fucking bitch, Charlie has had it hard and all you can think about is what they've done for you? You should take her out because you want to not because you can get anything out of her.'

'But I don't want to take her out! Get that threw you thick fucking head!'

'Can you to calm down? And talk about this like adults? Don't make me make you silent.'

'You wouldn't dare bitch.'

Jason had turned to face her again and he was far beyond angry, psychotic even. He had his eyes wide and veins popping out over his head. He didn't say his words he spat them at her like she was a bit of vermin.

'Don't start on me in my own house Jason. I'll do what I want and if that means casting a spell on you then I will.'

'You aren't allowed to do magic outside your pathetic school. And shut your fucking mouth, Iwasn't talking to you.'

Hermione jumped down from the counter top.

'I can do magic outside the school once if I want to because they will only give me a warning. I don't care if you are talking to me or not! I'm talking to you.'

In one swift movement he had his fist around her throat and lifted her inches from the ground.

'Jason out her down!'

'Listen to me. You aren't part of this family and never will be. You are a Witch, a filthy outbreed and never talk to me like you are part of my family. Now I repeat I was not talking to you so fuck off.'

He threw her across the kitchen and smashed her cheek and eye against the kitchen table. She instantly felt pain and tears streaked down her face. Alex rushed over to her.

'You idiot Jason. I don't blame her if she turns you into a frog! Look at what you've done!'

She pulled Hermione's tear stained face towards him and he saw that her cheek was bleeding and she had a black eye, which was swollen. Hermione looked at him with hate.

'Is this what you wanted Jason? To reduce your own sister to tears and beat her up? huh?'

He pulled her up by her arms and slammed her back against the door. She hit the door with such force that the handle would leave a massive bruise on her back.

'What makes you think you are my sister?'

'Think about it, WE HAVE THE SAME DAD! Or are you that thick you never even noticed?'

He let her go and she fell to the floor. He then brought his leg back and kicked her side.

'You are not welcome in this family and never will be. You are not accepted in this family. If I were you I'd up and leave and never come back.'

He turned to leave the kitchen but turned around as he was out the door.

'You'll never be any sister of mine, witch.'

With that he turned and left the kitchen and went into the living room.

END FLASHBACK

Hermione had tears in her eyes as she sat on her bed looking out the window at the early sunset. She could barely open her eye, it was swollen so much. She had sat on her own in her room all day, thinking about everything that he had said to her. She put silencing charms on her room years ago, to block out her screams of frustration on her family.

Now they blocked out her cries.

They had really hurt.

In her life all she wanted was to be accepted by someone. And now she wasn't accepted nowhere. Not in her family because she was the bastard child who split up her aunt, uncle/dad, mum. She was a freak because she was a witch and different because she wasn't a criminal, druggy or stupid.

She wasn't accepted that much at school either because she was Muggle born. People thought that just because she was a Muggle at one point, she wasn't as pure or talented as the pure or half blood wizards. Even a squib was accepted more than she was. She had to put on an act to her friends and pretend her life was perfect and peachy. If only they knew.

All day she had been listening to people coming in and out of her house and shouting from down stairs. When she went up to her room, Alex and Jason continued to argue some more then Alex left. She was frightened to be left on her own with Jason. Especially when he was as angry as he was. But he didn't come up and start anything. He just used the phone and sat down stairs. Later on she heard her 'mum' and 'dad' come back. They asked where she was but Jason just said she was sleeping. And they left. She forgot they where going away for a week.

Alex never came back.

Hermione feel asleep.

'Hermione?'

Somebody had come into her room. Hermione woke up at the sound of her name and looked at the door. It was her cousin Danny.

Why is Dan here? He never comes over.

'Dan? What is it?'

Knowing she was awake he proceeded into her bedroom and sat on her bed with her. They didn't say a word to each other for a few minutes.

'Dan I don't mean to be rude but why are you here?'

'O, Jason told me what he did, so I came over to check if you where ok.'

'Not meaning to sound ungrateful, but why? You've never seemed to care about me for years.'

'Hermione I-'

He didn't finish what he was saying. He turned his whole body and sat right on the bed facing her. She was in her bed shorts and a jumper and saw as Danny's eyes roomed her whole body, lingering slightly on her chest.

'You've grown up.'

'Yeah people tend to do that.'

She wasn't in the mood for him today. Talking to him takes a lot of effort and she wasn't up for it. He smiled at her and placed a hand on her knee. She watched him do this and was a little freaked out.

'Dan was there something you wanted?'

'Actually yes.'

He moved his hand further up her knee onto her thigh, still moving up.

'Dan what are you-? I don't like this, can you leave?'

'Not till I get what I want.'

She was in shock. This was not happening to her, her cousin was not feeling her up. His other hand now pushed her back down onto the bed while the first hand proceeded to the inside of her thigh. Hermione then found the voice she forgot she had.

'Dan get off! Stop Dan please get off.'

He just laughed at her. And his knees forced her legs apart. Her mind was racing, she was still begging, pleading with him to stop. She then heard footsteps up the stairs and preyed it was Alex.

The bedroom door swung open and there stood Jason with a smirk on his face.

'Sounds like she's begging you to continue Dan, O and I heard she likes it rough.'

He then left the room closing the door firmly behind him. She was speechless. This was not happening to her. It couldn't happen to her. If only she had her wand.

Dan moved his hands under her shirt and lifted it above her head. She struggled, trying to kick and scream but all she could do was cry. He eyed her chest hungrily.

'Well my baby cousin isn't a little baby any more.'

'Please Dan don't do this.'

He took no notice and forced his lips onto hers. She left like she was going to be sick. He tasted of stale cigarettes and sweat. She clapped her lips shut as he felt his tongue move alone her bottom lip. He gave up there and started to bite and suck her neck. Hermione gasped as he bit down particularly hard and drew blood.

'You've never had it better have you?'

She didn't answer him. He was taking her virginity away from her. His hands where massaging her breasts, but to Hermione it felt like he was pulling them apart. It hurt so much and she would have bruises for sure.

'God 'mione, your delicious.'

She felt him move from her neck down to her chest biting and sucking her nipples until he drew blood. Then without warning and in the matter of seconds he had pulled down her shorts, pulled down his jeans and had entered her roughly. She let out a cry of pain and fresh tears fell down her cheeks.

'O 'mione, god.'

It seemed like forever, he would thrust into her hard and fast making her cry out in pain again and again. And then she felt something warm fill her inside. It was over. He kissed her forehead and got up. He did his trouser back up and left the room.

'Sweet dreams 'mione.'

A.N ok that was the first chapter, tell me what you think

dark raven

-x-


	2. chapter 2: escaping the misery

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I only want to be excepted

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Chapter one: Escaping the misery

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has any association with J.K Rowling or Harry Potter. I do however claim the rights to the plot and the OC'S.

A.N this chapter contains mentions of rape and there is an attack that takes places. You have been warned.

She sat on her bed a wept. How could he do this to her, she felt so dirty and used. She had to get out of this room, out of this house, out of this family. She pulled on her skirt she had on yesterday and a strap top and ran around her room throwing everything into her trunk. She was still in a lot of pain and knew she had cuts and bruises all over her body, But she didn't care, she just had to get out of there fast.

Once everything was packed, she found her wand and made her trunk feather light and shrank it so it fit into her pocket. She still had tears down her face and wiped them away. She did a quick check around her room to see if she had left anything. Floo powder. She grabbed the little bag and walked quietly out of her room. Down the stairs she could see Danny and Jason in the front room talking.

'Yeah bro you defiantly have her, she's got a fucking fit body and is defiantly a good lay,'

'You knowwhat bruv I think I might, give her time to recover and then tomorrow she gets a taste of me. It will serve her right not to mess with me, dirty witch. You know you had her hard man.'

'Yeah that's they way the bitch should have it.'

John got up and went into the kitchen. This was her chance now or never. She made sure Jasonwas in the kitchen and went into the living room with Danny.

'Well well well, want some more do you 'mione?'

'You fucking wish arse hole.'

Dan got up shocked at her reaction. But she was ready for him this time she drew her wand and pointed it at his chest. He stopped dead in his tracks.

'Leave me the hell alone Dan. I'm out of here for good. You can tell the family what you want, but I'm gone, And one false move and I'll hex you into oblivion.'

'What the hell is going on?'

John had just come back into the room. He saw Hermione standing in the middle of the room pointing her wand at Danny.

'Stand with him Jason or i'll make sure you don't live to see another day.'

'Like shit you will.'

She made a few sparks fly out of her wand at Jason and he swiftly moved next to Danny.

'Leave me the hell alone. I'm going for good and if either of you try and stop me I'll kill you.'

They just stood there transfixed at her. She pulled the bag of Floo powder out of her pocket and threw some of it into the fire place. The flames turned green and she made to step into the flames and shouted

'12 GRIMMAULLD PLACE'

Just as she turned her back Jason leapt forwards and grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the fire and the wand out of her hand. Little did the boys know that now the Order of the Phoenix could now see what was going on.

There was a meeting going on in the kitchen on Grimmauld place where the whole order was attending.

'Thank you Charlie-'

Dumbledore turned around to see the fire place in the kitchen turn green, he waited until someone came through but nobody did.

He, Mad eye Moody, Lupin, Bill, Charli and Snape walked over to it and saw a young girl being slapped by a man. They saw her fall to the fall. Dumbledore turned to the five men and said

'Come on.'

They walked through the fire and entered a room with two men and a cowering girl clutching her ankle.

Dumbledore was the first to come out of the fire. Jason and Danny turned to the fire to see five more men walk out of the fire. They were in shock.

'Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?'

Dumbledore spoke up for the group.

'Excuse me gentlemen but somebody was about to floo to our residence but never came through. On closer inspection we saw a young girl being hit by you. Where is she?'

Hermione jerked her head up at the sound of a familiar voice. She looked at the fire place and saw Dumbledore standing opposite her cousins with Mad eye Moody , Remus, Bill, Charlie and Snape behind him. She was so relieved to see them.

'Dumbledore!'

Everybody turned to the figure in the corner, she had tears down her face, dried and fresh blood on her arms, neck, chest, face and legs and she was clutching her ankle.

'Hermione?'

Bill and Charlie rushed over to her.

'O thank you, Bill, Charlie. I didn't think anybody was there.'

They looked her over with worried faces. Jason and Danny where slowly making there way out of the room, But Dumbledore stopped them.

'I don't think it's wise you to move at all. Not until we establish what's gone on here.'

They stopped dead in their tracks. Dumbledore faced Hermione who was now being helped up Bill and Charlie.

'Hermione, who are these idiots?'

Hermione turned to Mad eye Moody, Remus and Snape and gasped as if she just saw them.

'Bloody hell, you brought everyone!'Charlie chuckled behind her.

'Well you did interrupt a meeting Hermione.'

'O did I? I'm sorry I just-'

'Hermione!'

She turned to Remus.

'It doesn't matter. Just tell us who these are and what the hell happened to you.'

She faced her cousins with a sudden panic and fear.

What should she say? What would they do to her if she told the truth? Did she want them all to no the truth?

She looked at her cousins who were giving her warning looks. She feel silent and looked at the floor. Then Jason spoke up.

'We're her cousins. And we still don't know who the hell you are, so if you don't mind leaving now.'

He went to grab Hermione's hand but Bill and Charlie stepped in front of her and she was pulled back into the middle of the men by Remus and Mad eye Moody. So now she had Bill and Charlie in front of her. Dumbledore and Snape either side of her and Remus and Mad eye Moody behind her. They both had their arms on her shoulders.

'Actually we do mind. We are not leaving until someone tells us how she came to be in such a state.'

Hermione then found her voice, in the smallest whisper but loud enough for those around her to here she said

'Th-th-they r-r-aped me. Th-th-they h-hit me.'

They all spun around to face her. Bill and Charlie kneeled down in front of her and looked into her tear shining eyes, Remus and Mad eye Moody tightened the grip on her shoulder. Snape turned around to Dumbledore

'I'll go back and clear the kitchen. I'll send word to the ministry as well.'

'No!'

Everybody in the room looked at her surprised.

'I don't want the Ministry involved.'

'Miss Granger, you are not thinking straight, they must be punished for what they have done to you.'

'No, there is no point. They'll get away with it.'

'But your family. They will want something done about them surly.'

'My family do not care. I'm a freak to them. I'm not part of their family.'

With everybody's back turned Jason and Danny were left unattended. They took this as their opportunity and grabbed Hermione from them. Dan had a knife in his hand and held it to her throat.

'Now get out of my house or I'll kill her.'

They all looked at them, surprised at the sudden attack. But they soon regained them selves into a clam posture and drew their wands.

'Now boys that was a stupid thing to do don't you think? Especially against 6 fully grown wizards armed with wands?'

Hermione looked at Dumbledore's calm face. She couldn't help but feel scared and frightened. They didn't know what Jason and Danny were capable of, but she did. She had just been on the receiving end.

'Please Daniel, let me go. I'll never come back. You don't ever have to see me again. I promise please let me go.'

'Give her here bruv.'

Danny threw her over to Jason. Bill made to catch her but failed. Jason then run the blade down her cheek causing a cut to appear. She flinched and tears still fell down her cheeks.

'Now 'mione if we let you go, who would we have to play with?'

This enraged the Wizards more.

_How dare these Muggles treat her like this._

_They were supposed to be her family and they had beaten and raped her? _

_This was their Hermione and she was being abused._

'John Please, I just want to go.'

'O but dear little sister, I want you around.'

They were confused.

_She didn't have any brothers or sisters did she?_

Jason started to kiss her neck, keeping an eye on the men. He bit down on her neck making a mark and she gasped. Jason then ran his hands down the side of her breasts and up her shirt. The men stood there in shock, not knowing whether to attack and risk Hermione's life or wait and watch her so called cousin/ brother abuse her body like this. She looked at the men and mouthed, PLEASE HELP ME.

Dumbledore took this and without any warning to the boys he sent a freezing curse towards them. This froze the two boys and Hermione. The three of them fell to the floor. Bill being the closest to Hermione ran and picked her limp and bloody body in his arms and turned to the rest. Snape pulled out some floo powder and threw it into the fire. He went in with Mad eye Moody and they shouted back to the headquarters.

Then followed Charlie and Lupin. This now left Dumbledore and Bill. They looked at each other

'How long-'

'I can't say. She's a clever witch, she could have covered any marks up. We'll take her back. Get her cleaned up and talk to her then. We must hurry they're starting to wake.'

Bill looked over his shoulder to the stirring figures. He so much wanted to kick them, curse them anything. Nobody should be treated like that by their own family. He would never dream of treating any member of his family like that. He looked down at his brother's best friend and saw her tired bloody face and wondered how long she has had to live with this torment. He walked into the fireplace and they flooed back to the head quarters of the Order of the Phoenix.

A.N you no what to do! read and review!


	3. chapter 3: finding something you once th...

I only want to be excepted

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and OC'S 

A.N I would like to thank jameslvr and pineapple cube for your reviews!

chapter 3: finding something you once thought was lost.

Bill was the last though the fire place with Hermione in his arms. The Order, Harry, Ron and Ginny had been informed that the girl in the fire was Hermione and she had been attacked. He wanted to get Hermione down so she could rest and recover from what she's been through but couldn't because Mrs Weasley, Harry, Ron and Ginny came charging up to him bombarding him with questions, they were frantic with worry.

'What happened?'

'Why is she unconscious?'

'Who did this to her?'

'Why has she got all those bruises?'

They were circling Bill trying to get her to wake up. He really wanted to get out the kitchen and lay her down. She wasn't heavy but he wanted to make sure that she was ok. She had been though a lot and he couldn't get past the kitchen. He tried to move past them but they still continued with their questioning.

'Why isn't she awake?'

'We want to see her!'

'Who did this?'

'Where are you taking her?'

'GUYS!'

This was Dumbledore. He too was worried about her and wanted to make sure that she didn't have any serious injuries. He moved his arm and made a gap in the crowd and motioned Bill through them. They were still trying to get a look at her under all the cuts and bruises on her face.

Bill looked down at the sleeping figure in his arms. She began to stir, screwing up her face and groaning. He assumed that she was in pain and moved through the kitchen door into the front room. Hermione's eyes fluttered open, her body numb with pain. She looked up to see Bill carrying her. Her mind was racing.

'Bill?'

'Shh it's ok.'

Bill laid her down on one of the many couches and sat down next to her. Dumbledore came in and kneeled on the floor next to her. Then her mind was racing again with all the memories of what happened to her that day. She was frantic.

'Where am I? Where's Jason and Dan? Did I get out?'

'Shh it's ok your safe now, we got you. They're not here. They can't hurt you. You're safe.'

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was she finally away from them? Jason and Dan can't hurt her any more? Away from her family? Was she free? Her body hurt so much but she couldn't concentrate on that, she had to know for sure if she was free or not?

'I-I-I'm safe? Where am I? Who took me out?'

'Yes Hermione you're safe now, you're at the headquarters. And I took you out with Dumbledore, Charlie, Remus, Mad eye and Snape.'

It's true she was free. She had tears of happiness in her eyes. She looked up at the person who saved her. She couldn't believe it. She shot up and hugged him. She didn't care about the pain in her chest. She was so relieved that she was out. She cried into his shoulder.

'Thank you. Thank you so much Bill. You don't know how much this means to me.'

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. He couldn't believe that his little brother's best friend had been going through any of this.

She always seemed so strong and didn't have a care in the world. Oblivious to her problems at home.

She pulled away because of the shooting pain that went across her ribs. She fell back to the sofa clutching her side in agony. She let out a frustrated cry. She lifted her top up and a purple bruise had formed over her lower ribs and stomach. Bill flinched at the sight of it.

Dumbledore was calm but in his mind he was applaud that his best student was ever treated in such a way. Nobody ever should be treated like that especially by there family. He lifted himself from his knees and swapped places with Bill so he could have better access to her injuries.

'Miss Granger, you had a lucky escape. I would hate to think what might have happened if we didn't get there. I'll start from the top ok?'

She nodded and closed her eyes. She heard Dumbledore mutter a few healing spells. She instantly felt the swelling and bruises go from her face and neck. He lifted her shirt and healed her middle. He couldn't go any further but told her he would get madam Pumfrey to heal those. She was wearing a pair of shorts which made it easier to heal the cuts on her legs but again didn't go to far up. Once he was finished she felt so much better. There was still pain in between her legs and on her breasts but that would be taken care of later.

'Thank you sir, for everything you've done.'

'It's not a problem Miss Granger. As long as you are ok, that's all that matters. These charms won't last long, but when madam Pumfrey gets here she'll know of a more permanent solution.'

She gave Dumbledore a hug and a kiss on the cheek to thank him. She turned to Bill.

'I really don't know how to thank either of you.'

She gave Bill and hug and a kiss also.

'Hermione, it was absolutely disgusting to see you in such a state when we arrived. Why don't you tell us what happened so we can get them punished for what they have done to you?'

Hermione couldn't tell them. If she did then they would tell the ministry and the ministry would take her in for tests and arrest them. She would then have to face them in court with her family. She was already hated by them and wasn't going to give them more of a reason to hate her.

'I-I-I can't.'

Bill and Dumbledore looked at each other shocked and confused.

'What do you mean you can't? Hermione look at what they did to you? Do you want them to get away with that?'

'You don't understand. If I 'grass' on them then I will have the rest of my family sending abuse to me and never speaking to me. They would get away with it anyway. They always do. There's nothing you can do and they know it.'

'Miss Granger laws are different in this world. Your family should never have treated you like that and in this world there is harsher punishments for abusers, nothing like those in the Muggle world.'

'They hate magic and they hate me. This is what they want me to do, this way they can get closer to me and-and.'

She couldn't finish what she was saying but they knew what she meant. They weren't going to pressure her to tell them any more. She would tell them when she was ready.

'It's ok Hermione, don't worry. You know where we are if you want to talk or have any action taking against them ok?'

She nodded and Bill put his arm around her and kissed her on the forehead.

'Miss Granger perhaps it would be best if you went straight to bed. You've had a long day.'

'No it's ok. I know Harry and Ron are probably worried. I better go and see them.'

The three of them got up and left the room. Hermione followed Bill and Dumbledore down the corridor and into the kitchen. Once the door opened there was silence. Hermione walked past Dumbledore and Bill and stood in the door way. Everybody was there. Most of the order, Harry, Ron and Ginny. They all stared at her waiting for her to say something, but she just sat in the nearest chair at the table.

This snapped most of them out of the trance and Harry and Ron came rushing over to her. The Order just looked at her with saddened eyes. The ones that were at the house at obviously told the Order (not Harry Ron and Ginny) what they saw and what she said about being beaten up and raped.

It wasn't very common in the magic world for this type of abuse to happen and when it did it situation was dealt with straight away and harshly. The fact that she was an underage witch as well made things 10 times worse. The Order knew who she was and the fact she was the most talented witch Hogwarts had seen in years, but were still appalled that this young girl ever went through such a thing. They didn't know how long this had been going on, or if it was the first time it had happened and why she never told any one about her home life.

They thought that she would probably be ashamed to tell anyone or that others wouldn't believe her.

''Mione you ok?'

'What happened 'Mione?'

'How did you get those bruises?'

'Who did this to you 'Mione?'

'How are you feeling?'

'Does it hurt?'

'What did they do 'Mione?'

'Did you know them 'Mione?'

Hermione couldn't take it all in. All these questions and her mind couldn't process it all. They just kept coming and coming and she couldn't get a word in edge ways. She wished they would stop calling her 'Mione. She hated that name and now it reminded her of Danny and what he did to her. She knew people were watching her as well.Making her feel really uncomfortable and isolated. She wanted to get away from here as well, just to be on her own for a while.

'I-I-I, well you...Erm, yeah, no umm.'

Dumbledore could see how much she was struggling with the two boys. It wasn't fair on her to be bombarded with these questions in front of everyone.

'Boys why don't you leave your questions for when miss Granger is feeling a bit more up for it? She's been through a lot today and doesn't need you two hounding her. Why don't you leave her be?'

Hermione was grateful that Dumbledore stepped in and told them to shut up, they were driving her crazy. Mrs Weasley put a steaming hot cup on tea in front of her and she smiled at her. Mrs Weasley replied with a sympathetic smile and continued to listen to the boys who were now arguing with Dumbledore.

'We just want to make sure 'Mione's ok. You bring her in all battered and bruised and expect us not to be worried or want to know what happened?'

'She's fine, you can see that. Just give her some space-'

''Mione? What happened? Come on tell us. Why won't she speak to us?'

Hermione had a splitting headache and all they were doing was shout. She put her head in her hands and ran her figures through her hair. She wanted them to shut up calling her 'Mione. It was driving her mad.

'Boys please she's been through a lot to day, leave her be.'

'We want to no what happened to 'Mione! Who did this to her!'

This was the final straw for her.

'ENOUGH ALREADY!'

The whole room went silent. Hermione was on her feet leaning on her hands and on the table for support. All eyes were on her. Harry and Ron looked at her shocked.

'You ok 'Mione?'

She spun around to face Ron.

'STOP CALLING ME 'MIONE! I'M FINE OK? JUST-JUST STOP SHOUTING!'

Harry and Ron looked to the floor ashamed. They didn't mean to upset her.

'We're sorry 'Mione, didn't mean to upset you.'

'DON'T CALL ME 'MIONE! IT JUST REMINDS ME OF _HIM_. EVERY TIME _HE_ TOUCHED ME OR SCREAMED OR MOANED MY NAME. JUST DON'T CALL ME THAT!'

She couldn't be in a room with all these people staring at her. She was fighting back the tears. She had to be on her own, to think about what had happened. She looked around and saw that the expression on everyone's face was either shock, confusion or worry.

She looked at the boys who couldn't meet her eyes. The first of the tears fell and she ran. She just ran out the room, leaving everyone behind her and slammed the door closed.

Everybody looked around at each other, all thinking the same thing, who was _He?_ The Order knew she was raped so didn't press on it. Harry and Ron however didn't.

'Who's _He?_ What happened to her?'

Hermione ran out the kitchen and up the stairs. She didn't care who heard her, and she didn't really know where she was going to go.

They would find her in any of the bedrooms or social rooms. She decided to go to the attic, she could be alone there, and nobody would think to look there.

She walked up another flight of stairs until she came to a door. This door hadn't been used in a while so it would probably creak. She didn't care, she wasn't afraid of the dark or any creatures, you couldn't when you were a witch.

She opened the door and she was right it did creak. There wasn't a lot of light so she muttered

'Lumos.'

Light shone out of her wand and fell on a very large creature. She shrieked and jumped back. She pointed her wand at it and let out a sigh of relief, it was only Buckbeak. She bowed and waited for him to respond. Which he did instantly.

She wasn't really in the mood to pet him so she settled herself against the wall and hugged her knees. She could feel some of the bruises coming back. Tears streamed down her face and she buried her head in her knees. Buckbeak walked over to her a nuzzled her hand, licking it. With his nose he nudged her hand and bent down so she could pet him. She looked up and granted him what he wanted and pet him. He was so thin and looked like he hadn't eaten in weeks. Buckbeak sat down beside her. She continued to stroke him and let out a sigh.

'I bet you miss Sirius huh?'

'Yeah I thought so. Me too. I bet nobodies been to see you either have they?'

He made little purring noises in response.

'I bet it gets awfully lonely up here all on your own. I know how you feel being trapped and not being free. I just escaped on place where I was trapped but I feel here. I'm trapped as well with people fussing over me.'

Then her head snapped up and she looked in to the far corner of the room. She could swear she saw something move. Something did move, she heard it. she was sure of it. She got up from where she was sitting and slowly made her way over to the corner.

He had been alone for weeks now, he didn't dare risk going down stairs to the headquarters, not with the whole Order there. He was scared to face them all. After what he'd seen and been through he wasn't sure if he wanted to be part of it again. Did he really want to know what was going on down stairs so he could sit back and do nothing? No, it's better he didn't know. Then his hideaway was disturbed.

He heard the attic door open and a young girl enter.

He watched as she gave the room some light and bowed to Buckbeak. He couldn't risk being seen so he moved into the far corner. He watched as this young girl cried. She seemed so familiar to him but couldn't make out who it was. It was far to dark. He shifted his body so he could get a better look at her, try and figure out who it was, he moved his leg but knocked over a box. He preyed that she wouldn't have noticed. No such luck. She looked directly at his hiding place. Their eyes met for a split second. He could see now that she had some bruises over her face and neck.

His heart began to race as this young girl got up and started to approach his hiding place. There was nowhere he could go, so he had to stay put and prey he wouldn't be found.

She was about two foot away from him now and he could see her clearly, still couldn't figure out who she was though. She raised her wand and pointed it directly at him.

'Sirius?'

He knew that voice, it was his god son's best friend.

''Mione?

He saw that she flinched at her old nick name. He wondered what had happened to her to become in such a state. Who had done this to her?

Hermione couldn't believe what she was seeing.

This wasn't Sirius.

_He was supposed to be dead. Not hiding out in the attic. Why was he hiding anyway? Why hadn't he come down stair?_

She extended her hand to help him up. He excepted it. There was a silence as the two stared at each other. Then as if they both knew what the other was thinking the hugged. It was a well needed hug for the both of them. However it didn't last long, Hermione pulled back in pain. They both said together

'What happened?'

They laughed at each other and went to sit where Hermione once was.

'So are you going to tell me who did this to you?'

'Are you going to tell me why you are hiding up here and not down stairs or dead?'

'Do you want me dead?'

'Are you going to answer me_?' _

'Are you going to answer _me?_'

They both looked at each other and burst out laughing. They were being so stupid. Sirius was the first to recover.

'How about you tell me what happened to you, and then I'll tell you what happened to me?'

'Ok. Well I don't really know how to say this really. I've never told anyone this before.'

'It's ok. I'm not going to say anything.'

'Ok, like you I dont get on with my family. And that's the biggest understatement of the year. But anyway ever since I was little I've hated my family. All of them. They're screwed up bad and I'm part of it. I mean I'm nothing like them, I'm totally different and I've known that since I was like 9 years old. I mean I'm the only witch in the family and that made me an outcast. I don't smoke weed or do drugs and I haven't got a criminal record. And in there eyes that makes me some kind of a freak. I suppose it all really started when I found out about my brothers and sisters.'

'I thought you were an only child?'

'I am in a way, but not at the same time. I've got two brothers and two sisters who are older than me and we share the same dad.'

'So that makes them your 1/2 brothers and sisters?'

'Right, But this is the strange bit. Our mothers are sisters.'

'Okay. So your cousins as well?'

'Yeah. We've always treated each other like cousins, never like brother and sisters. It's too complicated.'

'Ok, but it still don't explain how you got like this.'

'Well, Jason - one of my brother/cousins - came over today and started having a go at his sister, another of the cousin/siblings. Anyway they woke me up with there arguing so I went down stairs trying to calm them down. I gave my opinion as well. Jason didn't like that see so he slapped me around a bit.'

'A bit? 'Mione he didn't slap you around a bit.'

'I know that was someone else - my cousin.'

'Cousin cousin?'

'Yeah Danny. Jason must have called him while I was upstairs upset. Me and Dan never really got on, he hated the fact I was different to the rest of the family and always hated me because I'm a witch. They all do. But he came into my room and-and.'

She couldn't bring herself to say it. She hugged her knees and cried. Sirius put his arm around her and made Shh noises.

'He raped you.'

She nodded at him and he stroked her hair.

'No one deserves to be treated like that 'Mione.'

'Th-that's what I thought. So I packed all my things and went down stairs ready to floo here. But before I left Jason grabbed me and slapped me. I guess that the Order must have seen that because the next thing I knew I had Dumbledore, Charlie, Bill, Mad eye, Lupin and Snape in my living room. Well eventually they got me out and now I'm here. I was in the kitchen but Harry and Ron kept questioning me and I didn't feel like telling them. They kept calling me 'Mione. I hate that name, Dan called me it all the way through, well you know. And now every time someone says it, it reminds me of him and what he did.'

'I'm sorry. How long has it been going on?'

'I've never usually been directly involved, but with my family? Since I was born. I've witnessed brothers smashing each other over the head with ash trays. Mothers beating their kids within inches of their lives because she was drunk. I've visited uncles and cousins in prison for bank robbery, drug dealing, ABH, GBH, rape. I've been told stories of my aunt being raped by the man next door when she was 6 by one of my mum's cousins. I saw my dad threaten my mum and aunt with a gun. God and so much more. There's so much I've seen in this family and all I want to do is get away.'

'You're away now Hermione ok. They can't hurt you any more. If you don't mind me asking where was your mum and dad? Don't they care?'

'No, they were out and have gone away for a week. No they won't care. My dad hates me. I'm nothing to him but a disgrace. He's never treated me like a daughter and I've never ever called him dad. My mum will go along with the rest of the family. If they say I'm nothing then she'll agree. I-I-Just wanted to be excepted into a family. But in my family and in the Muggle world I'm a freak and here in the Magical world im lower than dirt, I'm a Mudblood.'

'Hermione don't you ever say that. Your family don't understand you, they are frightened of anything new. They're probably frightened of their own shadow. Don't worry about them because they aren't worth it. I was never excepted either because I didn't want to go over to the dark side so I know how you feel, kind of. And Hermione? I've never seen a more talented witch before. You run rings around most of the purebloods in this world. Not including me of course! I'm kidding, but seriously, we all love you and never want to see you hurt.'

Hermione gave Sirius a hug and muttered thank you. She wiped away a few tears.

'So come on, how come you aren't dead?'

'O thanks!'

'You know what I mean. How come you know? What happened?'

'Well ok you were at the ministry that day so you know I fell through the veil. Well people who fall through it are supposed to die straight away. It's like a portal to the world of the dead. So when I fell through I figured I was dead right?'

'Right.'

'So when I was there all I could see was this little white light in the corner of the room. Something was drawing me to it. But something else was telling me not to go. So I didn't, I stayed where I was.'

'Then what happened?'

'Well I'm not sure. There was this voice, female, sounded like a song. She told me that my time hadn't come yet and I still had work to do. I was well confused. I didn't know where this voice was coming from. It then told me that I had to go back and 'fulfil my destiny to the phoneix. I tried to ask her what it meant but that little light in the corner got bigger and bigger until it surrounded me and I passed out. The next thing I remember is waking up with Buckbeak licking me. I knew I was at the headquarters. I was very tempted to go down their and announce my presence.'

'Why didn't you?'

'Because something told me if I went down their, nothing would have changed. I would have still have been Sirius Black escape con on the run. I would have been locked up all day, knowing that everyone around me was out doing special missions for the Order while I sat on my backside doing shit. I didn't want to know what was going on because it would get me so annoyed.'

'Sirius, your name has been cleared. Your are not an escape con anymore. They know it was Peter and that he's alive. You should go down there. Harry would love to see you.'

'I'm scared to see him. It must have crushed him to loose someone he loved again. So if I got back into his life and I did die again he would have to feel all that pain again. I don't want to put him through that again.'

'Sirius, that's not your decision to make. You'll hurt him more if he finds out you were alive and didn't come to see him. He missed you a lot and wants to be with you.'

'Really? Your right you know.'

'So are you coming down stairs?'

'O I don't know about that Hermione.'

'What's keeping you up here? Your name has been cleared so you would be stuck in this house anymore and Harry _needs_ you. You can't deny him that.'

'You really are the smartest witch of your age you know that?'

Hermione smiled at him and he gave her another hug.

'So you're coming down then?'

'Like I have much choice any way.'

They got up and made their way down the stairs.

'I can't wait to see their faces you know.'

'Me either. Their going to be so surprised. They reached the bottom of the stair case and turned to go into the kitchen.

'Nervous?'

'God yeah.'

'I hate to say this but the whole Order is there ok?'

'Well I would have to face them sooner or later.'

'Come on,'

Hermione reached for his hand and pushed the kitchen door open.

Everybody looked up to see who had come in and saw Hermione standing there. They couldn't see Sirius, he was standing in the shadows.

'Look who I found.'

She pulled Sirius in the door way with her and the whole room gasped.

Silence.

You could hear a pin drop in the kitchen. Sirius stood there looking around at the shocked faces. Most of them had their mouths hanging open. The only people who looked remotely different was Hermione because she had a great big grin on her face and Dumbledore who was his normal clam self. Even Snape was shocked to see him.

'Hi everyone.'

The twins who were putting plates away dropped a plate and a cup. Nobody even flinched, they just continued to stare at the dead man in the door way. Remus was the first to recover.

'H-h-ho-how? Your supposed to be dead!'

'Yeah so people keep telling me! I think I'll go die and satisfy everyone.'

'Sirius don't be stupid. People are just in shock. We all thought you were dead and now you are standing in the kitchen. Bold as brass, how do you expect people to react. Why don't you tell us what happened?'

He turned to Dumbledore who had a calm but curious look on his face. Why was Dumbledore always so calm? He always knew what was going on.

'Well like I said to Hermione upstairs, I'm not really sure what happened. One minute I fell through the veil in the ministry and the next thing I'm in the attic upstairs. The only thing I remember in between was a women's voice telling me it wasn't my time to go and I still had to fulfil my duty to the phoneix. The next thing I know I'm surrounded by a white light and I wake up in the attic.'

'Tell me. How long have you been up there?'

'Erm about 3 weeks I think.'

' 3 WEEKS!'

Everybody turned to face Harry.

'You've been up there 3 weeks and didn't think to come down and say hi, by the way I'm alive don't worry?'

'No Harry it's not like that-'

'Then how is it? Didn't you think people would be mourning over you? Don't you think people missed you and needed to be with you? DON'T YOU THINK I WANTED TO SEE YOU! I BLAMED MYSELF FOR WHAT HAPPENED!'

'Harry look, calm down let me explain.'

'O this has got to be good.'

'HARRY JAMES POTTER!'

Everybody now was staring at Hermione.

'Don't you dare judge him until you've heard the full story. How can you be so selfish and think about your self? It's been hard on him as well you know. Don't you think he wanted to come down here and tell you that he's sorry but he's here now? He was scared of hurting you again Harry. He didn't want to put you through the pain of loosing him again. He thought it was for the best, he did it for you. He didn't want to sit back and do nothing either. It was hard for him last year to watch everyone else do things for the Order and he couldn't. But now he knows you need him and that he's name is cleared he's come down here. Don't you dare be so selfish and shout at him.'

Hermione was breathless, her face was red and full of anger and everybody was looking at her shocked. Sirius however was impressed.

'Thanks Hermione.'

'Well Harry don't you have something to say?'

'Erm, sorry I didn't mean to shout. I'm glad you back.'

'Hey no problem godson. Don't just stand there, show me your glad I'm back.'

Harry smiled and hugged him. He missed him so much over the last few weeks and now he was back. The whole room got up shacking Sirius's hand and saying how glad they were that he was back. The only person who wasn't joining in was Hermione. She leaned against the door frame and watched. She watched him hug Tonks.

He too noticed that she wasn't there and searched for her while hugging Tonks. He saw her leaning against the door. He caught her eye and mouthed 'thank you.' She smiled at him and he went back to hugging everyone.

A.N ok chapter 3 like you asked for! i hope its ok and wasn't to much for one chapter. Tell me what you think. I wasn't to sure about bringing Sirius back but i thought why not? i'ts my story and i think it works.

dark raven

-x-


	4. chapter 4: letters and trying to escape

****

I only want to be excepted

A.N thank you to my reviewers!

Jannic: thanks

Gurlsboy: thanks and im not sure if you no but all of the themes concerning her family are actually true just altered slightly. They have happened. screwed up right?

Jameslvr: thank you im glad you like it.

Pinapplecube: thanks and I am carrying on.

Thank you!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Chapter 4: Letters and trying to escape

Hermione sat in her room at Grimmauld place exhausted from today's events. It had been one long day for her, all her family shit and then finding Sirius, all she wanted to do was sleep. She had said goodnight to everyone down stairs who were still excited about Sirius and went to her room. She didn't have to share with Ginny anymore because they had finally cleaned the whole house out.

Hermione took a nice long shower and got changed into some fresh nightclothes. Now sitting there in the darkened room she heard a light tapping at her window, it was about 1 o'clock in the morning who was owling her now? She got up and strolled over to her window and opened it, in flew two owls, her owls Oaky and Olly. She made sure she had two owls when she was at home so she could keep in contact with Harry and Ron. But she had left them there. She went over to Oaky and untied the letter from her leg. She gave a little hoot and went to sit on her bed. Hermione opened the letter.

_Mi, _

I can't believe you've finally gone, I'm so proud of you. But the others aren't. I can't believe what they are saying about you Mi, your mum and dad don't care that you've gone, I heard them say to Jason it was about time the freak left and that they were going to kick you out. Alex told them what he did to you in the kitchen but they didn't seem to care, they said you had it coming.

Everyone seems glad you've left even Nan. Hermione I'm sorry I wish I were a witch too then I could be with you. Your probably with all your magic friends and not thinking about me at all. It's ok, it doesn't matter, I'm glad your away from the family to be honest.

Jason and Dan are saying the reason you left is because you threw yourself at them offering them sex and pleasure but when they turned you down you contacted your wizard friends and told them they raped you. Mi, I don't believe a word of it because well a little while ago I heard Dan and Jason talking outside. I heard what happened Mi and I'm so so sorry. Dan was boasting about how good you tasted and how he couldn't wait to see you again. They were saying what they were going to do to you and Mi it was horrible. I was in shock and I tried to run away I did Mi, but I knocked over the bin in the kitchen and they heard. The came rushing in and asked me how much I heard, I told them nothing but they didn't believe me.

Hermione was crying she knew what was next and it was her fault.

_They backed me against the kitchen table and covered my mouth so I wouldn't scream, but they said if I ever told anyone what they heard they would do to me what they did to you. That's when Dan put his hand up my shirt. I was so scared Mi they kept touching me in places I didn't want them too. They said if I heard from you I was to tell you that if I didn't come back then they would make me their playmate. Mi, please I can't bare that it was too much in the kitchen. Please come home, I miss you. Tell your mum and dad the truth I'm sure they'll understand please Mi, I'm begging you I don't want them to touch me again I can't. Please save me from them I can't bare it. If you come back then you can get a flat so you don't have to live with them and then I can live with you. Please I can't be on my own. Your a witch can't you do something? _

Lots of love

Charlie

P.s There must be something you can do.

Hermione was in tears, she couldn't leave her cousin there like that to be raped and beaten by her cousins. She couldn't do that to her. She was about to respond when Olly started to nip her. She forgot about that letter and opened it. Her heart stopped when she saw whom it was from.

My dear little sis,

Why'd you leave like that? I didn't get a chance to say a proper good bye. It wasn't nice to leave like that, me and Dan were really hurt. We told the family what you done. You know, coming on all desperate and willing to us. How could you do something like that, we are your cousins? But I must say now you've gone I miss having you soft firm body around me. But don't worry, when the wizards aren't around, we will come and take you home, where you belong. Don't worry about that 'Mione, you can't hide forever.

O do you know who we found eves dropping earlier? Yeah sweet little innocent Charlie. Not as nice looking as you though but still. Yeah we found her listening on our convosations about how good you were so we deicide to teach her a lesson. Dan said her breasts aren't as big or as firm as yours, he said she didn't smell as sweet either. But he said she was tighter than you, you dirty little whore.

She couldn't believe it, he was accusing her of sleeping around? She lost her virginity to her cousin, she felt so used and dirty.

So we thought because Charlie isn't as nice as you, we'd use her until we get you back. Our playmate. So until you come back o dear sweet 'Mione Charlie can please us. We will find you, and when we do you'll never leave us again. We will beat every ounce of magic out of you don't worry about that. When you haven't got that magic scum around you we will have you.

Our precious 'Mione

Dan and Jason

She dropped the letters and fell to her knees in tears. What was she going to do? If she went back then she would never be back in the magically community again. They would beat her till her life depended on it and she could never do any magic again. They would use her like a rag doll between them. Getting her to please them whenever they pleased and there would be nothing she could do. Her family wouldn't believe her and she had no one to run to. But at least Charlie would be free from that. She couldn't let her baby cousin be subjected to that by them. No way could she. She had to save her. If she didn't go back she would be raped day and night. It's not fair that a 13 year old girl to go through that. Jason and Dan would make sure that she kept her mouth shut as well. It was her fault that Charlie was in this mess in the first place. If she had never left then Charlie would have never eves dropped and Dan and Jason would have never abused her. She had to leave that was final.

She picked up a quill and wrote back to them.

Charlie,

Don't worry they aren't going to hurt you any more. I'm coming home. I won't let them touch you again. I'm so sorry I left in the first place because this would have never happened. I'm sorry. I'll be home as soon as I can.

Love you

Hermione.

Jason and Dan

Don't you dare touch her again. She's 13 years old. You don't have to worry about finding me. I'm coming back. I can't let you do that to the one other decent person in this family. I don't care what you do to me, I can take it but you leave her alone. She has nothing to do with this. I can assure you that I will not be found by any magical person either.

Hermione

She sent the letters back with her owls.

Hermione looked at her clock it read 3.30am. If she was to go she had to go now, everybody was in bed and nobody would wake up this early. It was now or never. She looked outside her door and made sure there was no lights or noise coming from down stairs. There wasn't.

She garbbed a piece of parchment and scribbed a note to the rest of the house. They would find it in the morning.

_Im sorryI had to go, they'd do it to charlie ifI didn't. if you already haven't fill the rest in about what happened. I'm so sorry. there was no other way. Don't come and find me. It would be worse if you did. _

Hermione.

She hadn't unpacked yet so all of her things were still in her trunk. She made it feather light and shrank it so it was in her pocket. She slowly opened the door with the two letters she got and her note. She was going to leave the letters so they would know what she meant.

She looked down the corridor to make sure no one was having a midnight wondering. It was clear, she stepped out and closed the door behind her. She gave the corridor one final look and made her way over to the stairs. She stairs tend to squeak so she took then one at a time, creeping down so they didn't make any noise. She got to the last few and stepped on it. It made a large creek and her heart stopped. _Shit did someone hear?_ She stood there for a few seconds to see if anyone came out there room, nobody did, so she carried one. She got to the bottom and let out a sigh. There was no lights on in the kitchen or the other rooms so she quickly made her way into the kitchen.

She stands in the door way and scans the room. Thankfully nobody was there, they had all gone to bed. She sees the fire place with some ambers still lit and hurried over there. She put the letters on the table and pulled he little bag out of her pocket. She got a handful of floo power and went to through it in. But then she heard a voice and stopped.

'And where do you think you are going?'She spun around to see Dumbledore's eyes twinkling in the dark. He stepped out of the shadows towards her.

'I-I-I have to-to go.'

She couldn't meet his eyes. She looked at the floor instead.

'I hope you don't mean going home? BecauseI can't let you do that. Especially after today.'

'You don't understand ifI don't go back, they'll do it to Charlie,I can't let that happen.'

'Who will do what?'

She handed him the letters. His eyes read them and when he looked up the twinkle had gone. It was replaced by anger and sadness.

'You see, I have no choice.'

'Miss Granger, please sit down. Have a cup of tea with me.'

She reluctantly sat at the table with him and Dumbledore made a tray with a pot of tea appear with cups, sugar and milk. He made her one and sat it in front of her. She muttered a thank you and took a sip.

'Miss Granger, after reading these letters,I hope you can understand that I can't let you leave.'

'Please sir I have to. You read what they'll do to her. I can handle that family I've been doing it for years, please.'

'Miss Granger, how long has this been going on?'

'What do you mean?'

'Your family. Why do you hate them so much, and why do they treat you like this?'

Hermione was considering whether to tell him or not. She decided she had no other choice. she let it spill.

'Since the day I born. I've been the bastard child who split up the family. I have two brothers and sisters. We share the same dad and our mum's are sisters. I've always been the blame for splitting my aunt and him up with there kids. I'm the living proof of their failed family.

'So I've been treated like shit - sorry. My family is screwed up big time. I mean my cousin Amy beats her children Charlie and Gregg on Christmas day a few years ago. Charlie's the one in the letter. She did it because she was drunk. She put Gregg in hospital and Charlie was out cold for a few hours. It's not the first time that's happened either. I've witnessed it many times.

'Jason and Sam my half brother/cousins are regularly in fights with each other, getting each other arrested. I was there last week when John smashed an ashtray over Scot's head. the majority of my family have a criminal record for drugs, rape, bank robbery, GBH - grievous body harm - ABH - actual bodily harm.

They've done tax fraud, have illegal credit cards. You name it they've done it. And I'm the only one that hasn't. I'm the only one that hasn't done drugs or committed a crime and I'm penalised for it. I'm the only one that uses my brain as well. It doesn't help being a witch either. That's just another thing they can throw at me. Being a freak and not part of this family because I can do magic. They hate anything new. I've never been excepted in the family. My dad treats me like shit. I don't exist to him, unless he wants me to pose like the good little girl in front of his friends. And I have to do it or he'll hit me. He's only hit me the once but I learned from that.'

She stopped to get her breath. She couldn't meet the headmasters eye, she just looked at her hands and let the tears flow.

'Every summer's the same. I'm ignored most of the time. I hear the constant news about what my family's done now. And usually before the summers out we have a big family BBQ. Everybody's there. Even my great aunts that live in Wales. But it always ends the same way. My aunts get drunk and my aunt Val rambles on about how I'm a disgrace to this family and I should be ashamed of my self.

'SometimesI get really angry and I make something blow up. Like Harry.Last yearI made the dip bowl brake. But that was a mistake because it made them worse. They were ALL shouting at me. They said so many hurtful things. And usually the day or so before I'm due back at Hogwarts, I'll et a visit from my dad or uncle or cousins, telling me that I'm not welcome to come back. I usually threaten them with magic so they have to. But we were sent letters during 4th year and my dad found it. When I got home he had this smirk on his face and showed me the letter. He shouted so much at me and did hit me. I wanted to run away and never go back. I wasn't excepted in that family and never would be. I just wanted to get away.'

She wiped her eyes, and Dumbledore made a fresh cup of tea.

'Recently it's been getting worse. Charlie confides in me about everything. Her mum is worse so she comes to us most weekends. Jason's worse as well she smokes a lot and is constantly high. O he smokes drugs and it sort of makes them happy-'

'Miss Granger I may be old but I knwo about Muggle drugs. I take it it's cannabis?'

'Yeah, well he's become a lot more violent. And today he took it out on me in the morning anyway. He was arguing with his sister and I came down and told them to be quiet and gave my opinion on a matter. He didn't like that so he slapped me about a bit. Well he must of called my other cousin over Danny, because later on he came up to my room and started touching me. I didn't like it and told him to stop.

It was awful, I never want to feel like that again. That's why earlier I shouted at Harry and Ron for calling me 'Mione. He kept calling me it and it just reminds me of him. So now they've told the family I came on to them, and they believe them. Why shouldn't they? It's not like they are going to believe a witch over the precious boys is it. I'm just so scared for Charlie. I couldn't care less what they do to me, it's her I don't want hurt.'

She brought one of her knees up and hugged it. She still had tears coming down her face and was playing with her cup.

'Before I got my Hogwarts letter things weren't to bad. I could handle it. I wasn't excepted fully, but they still acknowledged me, but then when I got it. That was it. I was the freak, the black sheep, the one that didn't belong.'

She cried into her knees. Hard. Dumbledore moved so he was sitting next to her and rubbed her back.

'I-I- only want to-to-to be accepted. Do something that people will like me for. Go somewhere where people won't sn-sn-sneer at me or call me n-n-names.'

'What about Hogwarts and the Magic world. You're excepted there.'

'No I'm not. I'm a Mudblood. I'm rejected because I'm a Muggle born. I can't get away from it. Everywhere I go, I get abused.'

'Hermione, people that use the word 'Mudblood' are no better than your family. The are scared of anything new and can't except anything new. Just because you are Muggle born doesn't make you any less of a witch. You are a very powerful witch and my top student I've seen in years.'

'Thank you. But it still doesn't solve the fact about Charlie. Please you have to do something. I have to get her out of there.'

Dumbledore could hear the panic in her voice.

'Are they at your house now?'

'Yes.'

'Then myself and some of the Order will pay them a visit tomorrow. We will warn them about hurting you or Charlie, we can cast a spell that will let you know if she's being hurt in any way. Is that ok?'

'O yes sir. thank you so much.'

Hermione leapt from her chair and hugged him. He hugged her back and smiled. Neither of them noticed the figure under the invisible cloak sneak out of the kitchen.

'Miss Granger, you better get to bed.'

'Yes sir, and thank you.'

She smiled at him and left the room, throwing the letters into the fire. She made her way up to her bedroom and fell into a dreamless sleep.

down the hall, the figure under the invisible cloak sat on his bed in shock. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. He had know idea that Hermione went through that every year. He felt so bad about listening, but she had woken him up. He would have to talk to her about it.

A.N ok another chapter down! u no the drill.

Dark Raven

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	5. chapter 5: over heard convos pt 1

**I only want to be excepted.**

**Disclaimer: come on you no I don't own Harry or His friends. Just the Oc's and the plot!**

**A.N I can't believe the response I got!**

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**PinappleCube:****Ok I'll read through it better next time. What sort of mistakes did you mean? Spelling? I hope it didn't ruin the story. I hoped the end would add some mystery.**

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**PurringPhoenixVoyager:****Great name. I wanted to show people that sometimes life isn't peachy. And sometimes it can be staring you right in the face and you're none the wiser. I read all these stories about how rosy life is ect. And I'm fine with that, some of the story's are really good and that's fine, if they want to write that who am I to discourage them? But I wanted something a little more real and what some people could possibly relate to instead of a teenage love story. A bit more depth.**

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**Mr Blader X:**** I'm sorry if it made you cry! However I am pleased that it has some emotional depth to it. Not that I'm glad you are emotional. I wasn't sure if i made it obvious in the last chapter who was listening or not, and I'm not going to say if you find out or not in this chapter, I promise you find out soon.**

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**Dooley:**** Thank you so much, it means a lot to me that you like it and i will keep going and it won't be ending just yet!**

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**inu Sasha:**** Thank you, I wanted something different. I wanted intense, mystery, emotion, suspense ect. So I'm glad you think that. I'm not going to say if Charlie comes into the wizarding world, you'll have to read and find out.**

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**GurlsBoy: ****I'm sorry that you find it depressing that was never my intention! just something different really. Thanks!**

**Thank you all to my reviewers! I love you all. When I wrote this chapter I wasn't sure if I should introduce it later or not. What do you think? review at the end please.**

**Chapter 5: over heard conversations part one.**

It had been a few days since Hermione had received those letters and since then Dumbledore had kept his promise and the day after he, Sirius, Remus, Mad eye, Kingsley and Snape had paid a visit to them.

FLASHBACK

'Did you go? What happened? Who was there? Was Charlie ok?'

'Miss Granger, everything was fine. Your mum and dad were there, Jason and Danny, Charlie, your Nan, your uncle Bob and cousin Sam I think. We went in and they were all in the living room. We told them that you were with us and that you weren't coming back because we think it was disgusting the way they had treated you. They said fine. Charlie was upset but I told her about the spell and she was fine.'

Hermione let out a sigh of relief. She was satisfied with that answer and left. The Order looked at Dumbledore.

'Why didn't you tell her the truth?'

'Sirius, she's been through enough.'

'She had a right to know. Imagine what she will do when she finds out.'

'She isn't going to find out. Unless somebody tells her.'

'Dumbledore, you know none of us are going to go up to her and say 'o by the way that's not how it went. Actually when we got there and spoke to them, they were shouting things like _We couldn't care less about that bitch, she's no family of ours. Keep her, drown her for all we care_. And I'm not going to turn around and say I hit John for saying _send her back I could do with a good fuck_ now am I? Or that Charlie was in tears on the floor begging us to take her with us?'

'But I told you, I cast that spell so she will be fine.'

'Dumbledore, I know you have you reasons but I don't agree with them one bit. She's going to be heart broken when she finds out we left Charlie there with bruises on her face!'

'I will take the consequences if and when she finds out. I just think it will be to hard for her to deal with at the moment. She's in a very fragile state as it is. '

END FLASHBACK

Hermione woke up in a sweat. She couldn't remember what she was dreaming about but she knew it was terrible and she was tossing and turning. She heard a bang from down stairs but figured it was nothing. An old house like this probably made lots of different noises.

She looked out of her window and saw it was still dark but there was a slight tinge of colour in the east. She thought it was probably about 6.30/7.00 After deciding she couldn't get back to sleep she thought she would go down stairs for an early breakfast. She pulled on her jogging bottoms and tank top (she sleeps in her underwear) and slowly opens her door. It was still early so she didn't want to wake anybody.

She creped down the corridor and down the stairs, she missed the first few stairs, she couldn't remember which one of the them creaked.

Once at the bottom she turned to the kitchen. She could see a faint light on and the door was open slightly. She made her way over to the door and heard talking. She realised that it was a meeting with the Order. She shouldn't listen but what if it was important and they could help. She hid herself in the shadows and listened to Dumbledore speak.

'As far as we know, Voldermort hasn't heard the full prophecy. Just the beginning, so that still gives us an advantage over him. However I'm not sure how long for. If he keeps trying to get into Harry's mind like this and if Harry can't block him out then, day by day we will get weaker. It's not Harry's fault, because it's in his subconscious. But we still some back ups. Ok Severus what have you got for us?'

Dumbledore sat down and Snape rose. Hermione leaned in closer. She could see that there was about 50 people in the kitchen including the twins! When did they become part of the Order? Most of these people she didn't recognise but some of them she did.

'Ok well the revel two nights ago was terrible. 15 Muggles and 5 of them were children. There is another one planned for two weeks. I got word of an attack taking place in 3 days time at the Wood's. Apparently Marcus and Annie had refused to join them, so the Dark Lord will be killing them. It's going to be a night attack and a big one at that. He wants me, Malfoy, Lengstrange's, Knott and Parkinson. He will be there as well. The others will be in Huffleclef starting fires. Possible Muggle baiting.'

Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing. 15 Muggles killed, 5 were children. Just for their sick pleasure. Wood? Oliver Wood. It had to mean him. He and his family were going to be attacked for not joining the dark side. This was awful. She half wished that she hadn't stayed to listen.

'I've got a feeling that there is going to be another attack on a Muggle family but I'm not sure. We really need someone else in there Dumbledore. I can only get so much information.'

'I understand Severus. You've done well to get us this information and in tonight's meeting we will discuss plans of attack. AndI have an idea about getting more information. But I'll say that after we've heard from Tonks.'

'Ok well I think I've convinced all the auroras now that joining the Order is defiantly beneficial without blowing my cover. They will be in contact Dumbledore. There's Peter's, Merk's and O'Brien as well that said they will be in contact. As far as information goes. Lard arse Fudge (minister) finally believes what you've been saying and is putting some of us on tracking. You know following old Death Eaters. We know all the information all ready so there's nothing new there. He's also doing some research into some Muggle defences like juns?'

'Guns Tonks.'

'Thank you Sirius. Guns. I'm not sure what he intends to do with them, because we can stop any attack like that with our wands.'

'I think it's just to scare people. Ok thanks Tonks.'

Bloody hell, Guns? Fudge really is stupid. But she was glad that they have got more and more support for the light side. It means that they have a better chance of coming out of the war victorious. She turned back to the kitchen and saw Hagrid was now speaking. She hated standing here, her back was killing her.

'Me an' Olimpy have go' a 'hole village now. 'at's 'bout 25 giants. 'ey are spreadin'a word and hopefully 'ey have convinced 'em 'at he-who-must-not-be-named is using 'em. We should have 'bout 60 giants in 'a en'.'

'That's great Hagrid thank you. That's excellent. As long as we have them on our side that's brilliant.'

60 giants! she couldn't believe what she was hearing! They'll turn around and say they've got Dragons next. Charlie stood up.

'I spoke to some friends in Egypt, Brazil and Australia. And I have rounded up 10 at the moment. Possible another 5. There the four we used in the triwizard tournament. Plus a Bulgarian fire eyes, two extra Hungarian Horntails and three Norwegian Ridgebacks. I'm working on some English brown tiger Dragons as well. Bro?'

'Cheers Chaz. Right Goblins will do anything for Dumbledore so we've got those defiantly. The South Ice pixies are vicious and huge! You think pixy as little cute things, on no 4 foot and breath fire ice! There magic is pure and god its powerful. We can use the fire ice to heal and their claws can attack. They've agreed as long as I don't go back there. I'm going out in a few days to search for the Roman Centaurs as well.'

'Great. I wish you the best of luck with that. Ok if there isn't anything else I would like to propose a special project.'

The whole room turned to look at him and Hermione even turned inwards more, snapping out of her state of shock about the Dragons.

'As you know, we have enough information really coming from the magical creatures and Ministry really but we lack information from the inside. The dark side. Yes Severus is our insider and putting somebody else in there is very dangerous. Especially if we put someone older in, if they haven't been in there since the beginning. And I think that they have enough male death eaters in there as well, we need somebody who can get close to Voldermort, without trying to take the place of any of his right hand men. That's why I think we need a female insider who can seduce or use her looks to get in closer with Voldermort. I mean he is a man and I doubt very much that he is going to turn down some young female is he?'

Hermione rolled her eyes at this. Some of the men around the room sniggered.

'This won't cause to much suspicion either because she will be young and they are always recruiting younger Death Eaters. Now the way I see it is we have three options: Tonks, Ginny and Hermione.'

Hermione widened her eyes when her and Ginny's names were mentioned. Obviously Dumbledore had thought long and hard about this if he considered using them.

'Absolutely not. There is no way Hermione or Ginny can do that. They are far to young and inexperienced in dark magic.'

Hermione looked at Mrs Weasley, she looked absolutely horrified at the idea of it.

'Please Molly, let my finish. Who ever it would be would go to all the revels, meetings personal or group with Snape or alone. They would act just like a Death Eater, do as they do, act as they do, go on all the raids and attacks. This way they would be right in the inner circle and Voldermort would trust them enough to let them in on more information.'

The group were considering this in their heads. It couldn't be said if they approved or not yet.

'I wish that we had any other ideas but we don't. If there was any other way I would take it, but with the information that we are getting we can't stop him. Yes we have information on raids and attacks but we need information on what he plans to do. What he knows, things like that. He's to smart to have kept that sort of thing in a pensive and his mind is well protected. We need an insider if we are going to survive.'

He sat down at the head of the table and looked around

'What do you think?'

Kingsley spoke up.

'Ok lets do pros and cons for each and see which is better for the job?'

'Ok, lets start with Miss Weasley. Molly I know you don't like the idea but we must consider her. I mean she's young,'

He started to count them off on his fingers.

'She Pureblood.'

'Attractive.'

Fred and George shot warning looks at their friend Lee Jordan. People were just shouting answers out.

'In Hogwarts, so she can tell him she can be a spy for him ect.'

'Close to Harry.'

People couldn't think of anything else to say.

'Ok there are some problems though with Miss Weasley. I think that perhaps she it too young. She's in her crucial O.W.L year. It would probably interfere with her studies and I'm not putting her studies on hold. In her first year she was possessed by him so that makes her vulnerable to him already and she might not be able to fight him off. Molly and the twins obviously are not thrilled about the idea. And I'm sorry to say but the Dark world the Weasley's are considered traitors.'

'So are we agreed our baby sis ISN'T the insider?'

Heads nodded around the room. Hermione outside had heard everything. That only left her and Tonks. She wanted to know who they'd pick.

'Ok so we have Tonks.'

'Young ish'

She slapped Fred upside his head for his cheek.

'Sexy'

They whole room turned to Bill who had gone a nice shade of red to match his hair.

'Related to the Malfoy/Black line.'

'In the Ministry.'

'Can change appearance.'Again they couldn't think of anymore for her.

'Ok but I'm thinking that Tonks perhaps is a little to old for the job. They might wonder why she didn't join them sooner.'

'She's an auror, so they might not trust her,'

'She's needed in the Ministry for the Order.'

'Ok so Tonks your are a maybe. Last but not least Hermione.

'Perfect age'

'Hot'

Most of the younger men like Fred, George, Bill, Charlie, Sirius, Lee, Percy, Remus and some others all nodded their heads at this. Hermione was very surprised at this. She leaned in a bit further to hear what they were going to say about her.

'Very powerful witch.'

'Best mate to Harry.'

'In Hogwarts so she could bluff and be a spy.'

'She used the time turner for a year, so she was discreet and sneaky. I think she could fool anybody. '

'Very strong minded, won't back down.'

'Always up for a challenge.'

'Has the time on her hands to train and learn ect,'

'Won't interfere because she's can catch up easily

'All of these are what I thought of. And I could only come up with two reason why we couldn't use her. The fact that she's Muggle born and she's had a hard time lately and might not want to do it.'

Everybody in the room knew it. Hermione was the perfect choice, it was just a matter of asking her and whether she would be up for such a task as this. It was really dangerous but they did think that she could handle it.

'How do we ask her?'

Outside Hermione had a hundred things going around in her head.

_Am I really up for this, after my family? Could I pull it off? What if I got caught?_

But she was still thinking_ I_

_want to help the order and Harry. If it helps the light side win, why not. I'm up for a challenge. I could do this. Maybe I'll finally be excepted somewhere. I want to prove myself to the Order. I can do this. I want to do this._

She had to show herself to the order.

_Can I really do this? If I mess up then I've blown everything. Yes you can do this._

She took a deep breath and swung the door open, it obviously hadn't been oiled in a while because it opened with a loud creek. Everybody in the room turned to stare at the person who interrupted their meeting.

'I'll do it.'

A.N. oooh, how are they going to react. Happy? Angry she was listening? Are they going to let her do it? Will she change her mind? How will Harry and Ron react to it? review! The sooner you review the sooner I update which means the sooner you find out what happens!

dark raven

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	6. chapter 6: over heard convos pt 2

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I only want to be excepted

Disclaimer: I don not own Harry Potter or any thing J.K Rowling has created. I only get my inspiration from her characters.

A.N Thank you to all my reviewers. It's the best part of my day now checking my email to see if anybody has reviewed

Thor-uk2000: I love constructive criticism, anything to help me with my writing. I can see where you are coming from with the spelling, the thing with writing it on the computer is I don't think and just write. I rush writing it from my notes as well to update sooner. But I will check and recheck my work from now on thanks.

I have had a few ideas over the ending but it's not set. I've got detailed notes on the next 10-15 chapters when the story came to mind, but it's far from the end! I've got a lot of ideas, it's just getting them to work with the story. If you have any ideas on an ending, please don't hesitate. ideas are always welcome! Lol and I hope this chapter satisfies you, if not well review and tell me (in a nice way) :)

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Lindalee4: thank you and here's the update for you!

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Hentaikoneko: What a fantastic name! Thank you I'm glad that you like it and all suggestions are welcome as long as they are constructive.

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Mr Blader X: I am!

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Dooley: But that's the fun in it. It ensures you'll come back and read the next chapter!

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PinappleCube: Do you know, I thought you were going to sat this is such rubbish scrape it now when I read your review! but OMG thank you! I'm so glad you like it and I love your stories. You are a fantastic writer. You don't understand how much it means to me for people to like my story! I used to think I was crap and nobody would read it!

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Chapter 6: Over heard conversation pt 2

The room was in silence. Did they just hear correctly? Did she just say she would do it? How did she know what they were talking about anyway? There was one person in the room that was not impressed on the meeting being disrupted like that and that was Mad eye Moody.

'How do you know what we were talking about eh?'

'I was outside.'

'How long you been out there? Eves dropping. Very deceitful that. And rude. How dare you listen in on a meeting? Why are you up so early anyway?'

'I heard enough. I was up early because I heard a bang from down here-'

The whole room turned to Tonks who was slowly slipping down into her chair.

'Tonks! It's your fault she heard us you clumsily twit! Why can't you be more careful? In future watch where you are going!'

'I'm sorry that I interrupted your meeting Mad eye. However I am NOT sorry for eves dropping or waking up because of the bang. It is not Tonks' fault I was awake, I was up already. And if I hadn't heard that bang then I would have never have heard the conversation about the special project and I wouldn't have just said yes to doing it. You would be back to square one and having no information because I'm pretty sure you _wouldn't_ have asked me. And in future I would appreciate it if you would treat those around you with a little more respect. They are all in the same boat as you and hopefully if I will be apart of it as well. I think you owe Tonks an apology.'

Hermione folded her arms across her chest and looked at Moody. The room was in shock. Most of them tried to contain their laughter. Nobody ever stood up to Mad eye. They were scared of him and now they had just seen this 16-year-old girl in her pyjamas tell him off.

It was hilarious.

Even Snape had a smile on his face. This girl was full of spunk and they liked it.

Fred and George however were thinking that even in her pj's she still looks hot. The Weasley twins and Lee Jordan didn't even prank Moody and they pranked everyone! They just wouldn't go anywhere near him.

Dumbledore was looking at Hermione with admiration. This was his top student and he had to admire her boldness and bravery. Sirius and Lupin sat open-mouthed staring at her. They always knew Hermione had a mouth on her but had never seen it in action. They were so proud of her. She had put the Marauders to shame with the sneakiness, not even Mad eye had detected her. She had them told one of the scariest people to apologize to Tonks. And she was willing to risk her life for the light side. She _wanted_ to be the insider and they hadn't even asked her yet. She was so brave and willing to risk everything for them. There was nothing she could do or say now that would discourage that. S

irius cleared his throat.

'I believe Moody that you still owe Tonks an apology.'

'Yes I'm sorry Tonks.' he mummbled

'I'm sorry I couldn't quite hear that.'

'Sirius you heard me perfectly well.'

'But I didn't.'

'Yes well Miss Granger. Ok I'm sorry. Happy?'

'Yes.'Hermione looked around the room with a big grin on her face.

'I think I speak for everyone here when I say well-done Hermione! You stood up to Moody and that is saying something! And I want to say how proud of you I am for coming in here in the middle of a meeting. It must have taken some courage to say outside and listen, AND you were undetected by Moody. Very well done.'

'Yes you defiantly put us Marauders to shame. And I just want to add you are a true Gryffindor by coming in here and telling us that you'll do it. It shows to bravery to risk your life for everyone and loyalty to the light side. Even if the overall decision is no, you showed that you were willing to take Voldermort on and help the light side become victorious.'

'I don't believe this! How can you stand there and congratulate her on signing her life away at such a young age? She's not even of age and you are telling her she can do this? It's ridiculous. She can't do this, especially the way you want her to. She's 16! A child! Absolutely not. You cannot possible let her do this! She's so inexperienced in such matters!'

'O Molly, she's 16 and she is nearly of age! She wants to do this. She's a smart girl she knows what she's getting herself into and even if she doesn't we will tell her everything if she is absolutely sure she wants to.'

'I thought you were a smart man Remus! I can't believe you are going along with this! She's a baby!'

Hermione was getting annoyed at them talking about her as if she wasn't there. She was standing there in the room with them.

'Molly she's not a baby! Come on she's 16! And a very attractive young girl! Times have changed since you were 16 Molly and I doubt she is inexperienced.'

Hermione flushed a deep red. It was true, she wasn't inexperienced. She went out with Krum in the fourth year and he was 18, they didn't just kiss and hold hands. She's had Muggle flings over the summers as well. She wasn't Miss prissy how everybody made her out to be. People would probably be shocked if they found out what she did at Muggle parties.

'CAN YOU NOT TALK ABOUT ME AS IF I'M NOT HERE PLEASE!'

Again everybody turned to face Hermione.

'Thank you. Can I say something? Good. Well firstly thank you Sirius, Remus I'm glad you're a proud of me. And Mrs. Weasley I'm not signing my life away and I'm far from a child and defiantly not inexperienced.'

Again she flushed deep red. Most people raised their eyebrows.

'O grow up, I'm 16! It's perfectly legal for me to have sex-'

'Hermione that's really not the point.'

'But Mrs. Weasley it is! What you're a trying to say I think is that im not experienced enough in sex or seduction to pull this off. I take it that I would have to flirt to some high degree with Voldermort and probably offer myself on a plate to him? Exactly. Mrs. Weasley. I want to do this. I've always wanted to prove myself. Do something worth while. And I've never had the opportunity. I've never really been talented at much and the only thing I've ever excelled in is school! I want to do something that can help others. If I did this then I would be getting information for the light side that could potentially increase our chances of winning this war. I think the more knowledge we have about him and his activities, the better prepared we are when it comes to the final battle. I'm sure I'm not the only one here that doesn't want to see their friends and family die at the hands of evil. And I'm sure you don't either.'

She stopped and looked around the room. All eyes were on her again.

'I can also find out his weaknesses, which will help Harry out in the final Battle. I know Harry is talented and has beaten him before. But I assume now he is a lot stronger and more powerful. He can probably take down Harry like a shot. I do not doubt Harry at all. I just think the more we know about him the better right? And if you need me to prove myself then I will. I'm sure you all doubt whether I can actually seduce him to our advantage? Well I'm sorry but I believe I can get anything out of men.'

Some of the order laughed at this and a woman in the back shouted out.

'Child please, what do you know? We are not talking about pouting and whining a little to get him to go shopping with you. We talking about being a prick tease, and getting vital information out of him.'

'Do not treat me as a child. And I can show you. Ok I'll show you that I can get £20 out of Fred Weasley.'

Everybody knew how tight these boys were with money and there was no way that they were giving up any money. However Fred looked slightly flustered.

'Please, he is merely a child himself. I'm talking fully-grown Wizard here. Ok you think you can get anything out of men? Get Sirius to have a hair cut and change his clothes. And then we might consider you.'

'Hey hey hey, not happening. I like the rugged look thank you.'

Hermione transfigured her clothes into a short grey pleated skirt, which if she bent over could see her underwear. Tight white shirt which showed her ample chest in a black bra. She was practically falling out of her shirt. She made her hair into pigtails and pulled up her socks. Sirius widened his eyes at his secret fantasy standing right in front of him.

'This ought to be good.'

'Hermione this isn't going to work,'

'Really?'

She sat her self of the table next to Sirius, he skirt rode up her thighs and Sirius couldn't help but look. Hermione scanned her eyes all over his body. She sat back and smirked. She watched as he did the same.

'Like what you see?'

'Most defiantly- I mean no, Hermione please this won't work.'

Hermione wasn't listening to him. She locked her eyes with him and licked her lips. She jumped down from the table and kneeled in front of him. (No! please clean your minds out of such dirty thoughts!) She put her hands into his hair and began to run her fingers through it. She ran her hands down the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. The room was silent. Nobody said a word, they were all watching this 16-year-old girl sitting in front of Sirius not saying a word but leaving him speechless.

'You have the most gorgeous eyes you know that.'

She barley said it above a whisper, just enough so he could hear it.

'I um.'

'It's just such a shame you have all of this hair in the way.'

She stroked the sides of his face and leaned in to moving his hair out the way. She bit her lip and looked at him. In his mind he couldn't believe what was going on. The amazing girl sitting in front of him in her school uniform, his biggest desire. Her delicate fingers moving across his face. Biting her lip in an o so not innocent way. He knew she was 16 but at the moment he didn't care.

'I just love guys eyes and it's so sexy when you can see them.'

At the moment Sirius was trying to suppress a moan, she had just ran her finger over his lips. He would do anything to kiss her or touch her at the moment. Even though it was so wrong but that just added to the excitement.

'Sirius?'

'Yeah?'

'Would you…?'

She leaned into his ear and whispered. She kisses his ear slightly.

'Yeah?'

She moved to the other ear.

'Like to…?'

Kissing his ear and moved to face him. Eye level.

'For me…?'

She leaned in closer. Literally inches apart.

'Cut you hair? It would look so good on you.'

He grabbed his wand, never leaving her eyes and cast a spell that shortened his hair. Hermione smirked at him. That's half of it and she's barley touched him. Now the clothes should be easy.

'You know what I love? A guy in jeans. Makes them look so rugged and rough. With your knew hair you'd look absolutely irresistible.

She ran her hands up his chest and bit on her bottom lip. Sirius glanced down at her chest that was heaving.

'You know there's a pair of jeans on the stairs. Why don't you put them on, then later I could take them off?'

He practically jumped up from his seat. Hermione let out a sigh. Waved her wand once. Then turned back to the group. She transfigured her clothes into a pair of jeans and a top. Looked at her watch and then turned around, just as Sirius came running back in. The group were speechless, how could she have got the frumpiest man alive to cut his hair and change his clothes. No way. The woman in the back was speechless to.

'I stand corrected.'

'Sirius, I'm sorry you were a victim but you do look much better.'

He was searching for is schoolgirl. She was no where in sight. Then realization then hit him. He felt like such a fool for falling for it, but he had to admit she was good. There was one person however that didn't look impressed.

'O please. Miss Granger, Sirius has been celibate for years. Of course he would do anything in a skirt. We are not talking about a sex-deprived man here. The Dark Lord is no fool, either. He would see through your pathetic role-plays. He may be evil but he has class. I doubt very much you could do that to an intelligent man of class and sophistication.'

An idea struck Hermione. Ok Sirius was easy, that was for sure. What about Snape? They would have to let her do it if she could convince Snape.

'Tell me sir, do you consider you self an intelligent man?'

'Yes Miss Granger, I do.'

'What about a classy man. You wouldn't settle of any sleazy act would you?'

'No I certainly would not.'

'What about a sophisticated man?'

'Of course, but what has this got to do with anything?'

'How old are you professor?'

'That is none of your business Miss Granger. I do not have to share my personal details with you. Now-'

'Would you change your mind about me if I could get you to tell me your age?'

'Miss Granger, you cannot wrap me around your little finger like the others.'

Again Hermione wasn't listening, she was studying him.

'Can I ask you a question professor? You consider yourself to have similar tastes to him, tell me what sort of attire would I be wearing?'

'His likes them to show themselves off. If they have nice legs then he wants them to show them. Again with their breasts or arse. He likes them to look good, but not necessarily comfortable. In other words he likes his whores to look like whores.'

'Ok well I'm not sure if I'm exactly comfortable looking like that, but I have another way around it.'

'Miss Granger this is pointless, why are you even doing this?'

'Because I am going to prove to you that I can do this.'

With that she transfigured her clothes yet again, this time into a deep red dress. Not any normal dress either. It was a strapless and very tight and ended mid thigh. It was made of a PVC material. You would think it would look trashy but she pulled it off. It looked well…HOT! Snape's eyes were practically falling out of his head. One of his best students standing in front of him wearing a very provocative red dress. She walked up to him with a smirk on her face but walked straight past him. He watched her as she swayed her hips past him. She ran her hand over his should, along his back and then along his other shoulder. She leaned in and whispered in his ear.

'I bet you like this dress don't you _sir?_'

'Miss-'

'Shh'

She placed one of her fingers on his lip to silence him which he immediately obeyed.

'I like an older man and I think you like a younger women.'

'Is that so?'

'Yes it is.'

She sat on the table in front of him and placed her foot on his knee. He had a good view of her legs and a little higher. He was very tempted to look but had to keep reminding himself that he was her professor. She shook her head, which made her curls flow down her shoulders.

'I bet _professor_ that you are about 28?'

'No.'

'No? Well you've defiantly got the body of a 28 year old.'

Behind her Sirius spat out his tea. Hermione shot him a warning glance, which silenced him. She turned back to Snape. He was proving harder to brake than she originally thought. She would have to do something she really didn't not want to do.

'Yes you have the muscles and build of a younger man. Nothing like Sirius who is all fat.'

She obviously said this quieter, so Sirius couldn't hear her. Snape smirked at his.

'Umm defiantly, such powerful arms, and strong legs.'

She ran one of her feet up his legs closer and closer to his crotch. It was obvious he was quite uncomfortable at this point.

'Sevvy, you don't mind me calling you that do you? It's not like I'm in school for you to put little naughty me in detention all on my own now is it?'

'Erm n-no I guess not.'

'That's good because I hate those cold dark dungeons especially if I'm all alone.'

'Well erm.'

She removed her foot and leaned forward. She leant into his ear giving him full view of her breasts. He loosened his top button on his shirt.

'You would keep me company wouldn't you _professor_?'

'I, er.'

'It would get awfully lonely down there. Especially if there wasn't somebody to keep me company. Isn't that right _professor_?'

'Yes I suppose it is.'

'Do you like teaching _sir_?

'Yes.'

'Do you like my dress _sir_?'

'Yes.'

'Your 39 aren't you _professor_?'

'Yes.'

Hermione smiled triumphantly and jumped down from the table. Again she changed into her jeans and top, while Snape sat back groaning. He couldn't believe that he fell for it. The room again was in shock.

'How?'

She turned to the twins how were looking at her gobsmacked.

'It's simple. You just have to find out what they want and like. It's obvious if you think about it and know somebody well enough. I mean look at Sirius. I knew he liked the school outfit because that's when he was in his prime. He was a ladies man at school and spent most of his adult life in Azkaban. So obviously that took him back to all the times at school when he was with all those girls. Professor Snape was a little harder to figure out because I don't know him that well, but when he said he was similar to Voldermort it was obvious that he would want me to be a whore as well. He is surrounded by teenage girls and older women all day, it's obvious he would want something a little more adventurous.'

'Miss Granger that is all good and well. But we still haven't made a firm decision. Yes you were with an idea, but I still have a few reservations about using you in this project. Yes it was my idea but I'm still not convinced. Yes you have proved that you can use men, even though Voldermort would of course be a lot more of a challenge. But I'm not sure how much of your time this would take up. If he takes a shine to you he might want you for his 'personal' use more often than we anticipated. I'm not sure how you can fit your studies around that.'

'Ok I understand your concern but why can't I use my time turner? If he wants me late at night and I'm back early hours or something then I can turn back time and get a few more hours sleep. If he wants me during the day then I'll go and catch up at night, giving my self a few few few hours every now and then. And if it really becomes to much then I will try and explain to him that my grades are falling and you are becoming suspicious, so I will have to take it easy.'

'Ok, well we can cross that bridge if and when we come to it I suppose. But miss Granger you are still very young and I fear that the kind of things that go on may damage you later on in life.'

'I understand that Professor but you said yourself that I'm a strong-minded person and look at what I've experienced already with Harry and Ron. I know it doesn't really compare to anything like this, but I suppose if I really can't handle it then you can obliviate my mind and I'll live the rest of my mind as a Muggle.'

'Miss Granger you know that nobody would let you do that. But the things at these revels are very serious. If you are excepted you would be excepted to rape and kill Muggles, go on raids and kill wizards. I wouldn't be surprised if he will pass you around the Death Eaters as well.'

'I was thinking about that when I was outside and isn't there something you can teach me to clear my mind and block my self away. I know I've read something about it. It's like going to a safe place in your mind so you don't concentrate at what's going on. Your body is there but your mind and soul are not.'

'You really have thought about this haven't you? Yes there is such a state of mind but it very difficult to master. I'm unaware that any of your professors can do it so I can teach you myself if it comes to it.'

'I'm sorry for jumping in like this Dumbledore but I was just thinking about what she has been through recently. You know with her family?'

'I am still here.'

'Yes Sirius I was thinking about that myself. I don't think she is emotionally ready for such a task. It would put so much pressure on her and possible bring back bad feelings?'

'Hello!'

'Yeah exactly I think it's far to soon.'

'DO YOU MIND!'

Sirius and Dumbledore turned to a very irate Hermione.

'I understand what you are saying about my situation I really do but I know there is nothing I can do about now it so why fret? If Dumbledore teaches me to escape my mind with that then why can't I adapt it to free my mind of them?'

'Can someone explain to the rest of us what's going on?'

Hermione turned to the order that looked very confused. _Should she tell them?_ _What if it's the only way to convince them? Well if shes been through that then she can go through that right?'_

'Well, I'm not sure how many-'

'Hermione you don't have to do this you know.'

'Yes, it's your personal business, you don't have to tell the order.'

'No it's ok. If they can see I have come through this then I can get through that right?'

'Hermione these are totally different situations.'

'Miss Granger, you do not have to do this.'

'Please it's fine honestly. Right I won't go into explicit detail, but some of you know and some of you may not, but the day Dumbledore and some of you rescued me, I was in a bit of a state. That was because earlier that day I was beaten and raped by people I thought were my family.'

There was a gasped around the room. They were just staring at her.

'I've been having a fair bit of trouble with my family because I'm different since I was born. The lot of them rejected me the second I was brought home. I'm nothing like them and never will be. Before you ask, no my parents or family do NOT care that I'm here, if anything they are jumping for joy. And I suppose the last thing I better say is that I'm not an only child like most of you think. I have two brothers and sisters. We share the same dad and our mums believe it or not are sisters! Well I'm not going into any more detail about my family history or torment I got. But I think you should know that the one that beat me was indeed my brother and he has threatened to rape and beat my little 13 year old cousin.'

Nobody really knew what to say to the young witch in front of them. It was terrible that she had ever gone through such a thing. Some of them wanted to cry for her. Others wanted to jump up and hug her, while others wanted to go and show her family a piece of their mind. Nobody deserved to be treated like that. That such of abuse was rarely heard of in the Wizarding world, that's why it had come as such a shock.

'And I think if I can come through that, still alive and kicking then I can do this. Please give me a try. I just want to prove to myself that I'm worth something and I want to help. Not just help in the medical ward. I want to help Harry win this. And I think that I'm the right person for this, I think that I'm your only hope.'

'Miss Granger. Can you wait outside? We will have to talk about this.'

Hermione turned and left the kitchen. She heard the door close behind her and some spells being said on the other side. She was left in her own thoughts now and boy was her mind buzzing, _Can I really do this? Maybe Tonks was better choice, she was more experienced than she was. What would Harry and Ron say? Did she care what they thought? This was her decision not theirs! _

She couldn't believe what she had done in there either. Snape! Sirius! What she whore! God.

_She felt up her professor Eww! I'm not telling Harry and Ron that! _

She must have been out there longer than she thought because before she knew it, the kitchen door swung open and she was ushered back into the kitchen. People were giving her rather odd looks. She wasn't sure what sort of looks they were.

'Miss Granger?'

'Umm? O yeah right.'

'Ok well we've given this a lot of thought.'

'Ok. And...'

'And we've made our decision.'

A.N o well you'll have to wait until next time to find out whether they are going to let her or not. I didn't rate this chapter much. O well tell me what you though please.


	7. chapter 7: telling Harry and Ron

****

Chapter 7: Telling Harry and Ron

Disclaimer: I own nothing but a very old computer, some scented candles and a pink cushion!

A.N Thank you to all my reviewers! I love you all!

Avestia: Thanks very much and you are right they should stop treating her like that. Shes old enough to take care of herself.

Bukama: I'm not sure what you mean? The sad thing about this story is that most of the issues concerning her family ARE real. I'm sorry if you don't think they are believable. She's never called him 'dad' directly but it makes things easier if she refers to him as 'dad' in a conversation. It would have alerted the Ministry yes in J.K Rowling's books however she hasn't released the next book so how do we know if they aren't aloud to do magic yet? I'm not sure what you mean about the Christmas.

Somebodywhoreadsalot: Hey Yeah I know about the spellings and are being changed and I'm being a lot more careful when I'm writing - it just takes longer to update now. I wanted a story where their lives weren't peachy and by your review I take it I accomplished that! P.S what is a Flame? That's not an invitation to flame me!

BabyFace: Hehe, I'm sorry about the cliffy but it makes you come back doesn't it? I'm so glad you like my story!

QUEENoftheDUCKS: What a name! love it! I hope I didn't keep you waiting to long!

Thor-UK2000: Thanks and curiosity is good! experience of the sexual nature doesn't just mean sleeping with someone. It can mean oral sex and things of that nature! I'm sorry if I wasn't clear about that.

Dooley: lol sorry if I grossed you out! I know! I was thinking who could it be? There was people like Dumbledore, Mad eye and Mr Weasley that came to mind but that's just WRONG!

ScreamingChild: Ok I'm updated now! look look new chapter! I hope this satisfies you for now and I'll start writing the next one 2morrow!

Inu Sasha: I've always imagined Sirius's hair to be really untidy and long! So now in my head it's short and sexy!

'Miss Granger?'

'Umm? O yeah right.'

'Ok well we've given this a lot of thought.'

'Ok. And...'

'And we've made our decision.'

And on with the chapter...

Hermione, Harry and Ron were covered in dirt. They were cleaning out Sirius's attic. They found lots of dark objects and to Hermione's delight lots of old books. The boys were having a play duel, throwing silly hex's at each other while Hermione was looking out the top window at the garden beneath her. She was contemplating whether she should tell Harry and Ron what Dumbledore had told her. She should really tell them that they had said yes and were going to let her do it, but she had to go through a lot of training and learning. She should tell them that she was going to be Voldermort's play mate. She should tell them that she was probably be initiated a Death Eater and be involved in the plans to kill Harry. She took a deep breath and turned around.

'Guys?'

'Ha! Now try and walk Ron! You've got no feet!'

'Guys?'

'Fine! try and talk with bubbles coming out your mouth Harry! Boy-who-lived! Ha! Boy-who-can't talk! How you managed to defeat him is beyond me!'

'GUYS!'They both stopped and looked at her. Ron's feet were growing back and Harry only had a few bubbles coming out of his nose.

'I need to talk to you. It's quite important.'

'Ok Hermione go for it.'

'Well um this morning I got up early see and I needed a drink so I went down stairs.'

'Hermione get on with it.'

'Ok well I over heard a meeting.'

They looked at her shocked!

'What did you hear?'

'Was it any good?'

'Come on tell us!'

'Ok Ok. Well it wasn't really that interesting, apart from one bit. I heard that they needed someone else on the inside, you know close to Voldermort. They thought a female must be best because she can flirt and seduce her way in. And they came up with three names. Tonks - but she can't do it, shes in the ministry. Ginny - she can't because she's too young. And me.'

They boys stared at her for a minute and then burst out laughing.

'Haha! You? You don't know anything about men!'

'Can you imagine Hermione in a short skirt and tight top!'

They were practically rolling around the floor laughing. Hermione was really annoyed by this. She thought that they might be angry or upset but not like this.

'Hermione! Seducing Voldermort! You couldn't seduce a fish into water! (A.N I don't know!)

'Hahaha what? What did you say?'

Hermione smiled at them and put her arms around each of them.

'Well, I went in, told them what I heard. They weren't pleased that I heard, but then when I got Sirius to save his head and put some decent clothes on and got Snape to tell me his age - of course I had to do this in a naughty school uniform and a tight PVC red dress in front of all the order - they said yes. And I'm going to do it. I've got to do some training but I'm going to be a mole, an insider, a double act for the light side.'

The boys stopped laughing and looked at Hermione. They were gobsmacked. They weren't quite registering what she just said. Hermione turned to face Harry and waved her hand in front of his face.

'Hello? Harry?'

She looked at Ron and clicked her fingers in from of him.

'Earth to Ron!'Hermione sighed and turned to the door.

'Ill leave you to it. Come find me when you've caught up.'

With that she left the attic and two stunned boys.

About 10 minutes later the boys finally came back to their senses. They looked around to see if they could see Hermione. She wasn't there. Maybe they were dreaming. Ron turned to Harry who was still looking for Hermione.

'Did that just happen?'

'Hermione telling us she's going to be Voldermort's sex slave? I don't know. I thought I imagined it.'

They both looked at each other and then at the door. They both shouted together

'HERMIONE!'

They walked out the room, down to her bedroom. She wasn't there. They decided to wait for her. She walked in ten minutes later with a glass of water and a book. She saw the boys and smiled at them.

'Hey guys, nice to see you.'

'Hermione, you see when we were in the attic half hour ago?'

'Yeah, you two were cursing each other. It was quite funny actually.'

'Yeah after that, did you tell us you over heard a meeting about the order needing a sex slave for Voldermort and you volunteered?'

'No.'

The boys let out a sigh of relief. Hermione smiled once again.

'I said that I over heard the order say they needed a female insider to get information for the light side and I volunteered.'

Hermione took a sip of her drink and in her head she counted down. 3...2...1...

'WHAT THEY HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?'

'IT'S FAR TO DANGEROUS FOR YOU TO BE IN THERE!'

'YOU COULD BE KILLED. THIS CAN'T BE TRUE.'

' I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. YOU'RE HAVING US ON AREN'T YOU?'

Hermione took a deep breath and looked at the two fuming boys.

'Don't believe me if you don't want to, ask Dumbledore...'Bad idea Hermione, Bad. He was in the middle of a meeting. The boys brushed past her and raced down the stairs. Hermione sighed and went down after them.

'Crap.'Harry and Ron ran all the way down the stairs and burst into the kitchen.

'IsHermionegoingtobecomeaDeathEater?'

'Whyareyoulettingherdosomethingsostupid?'The whole order looked at the boys who were out of breath and then at Dumbledore. Just as her was about to say something Hermione came in and then they understood.

'I'm so sorry about this. I didn't mean to interrupt, they are just over reacting. Come on Harry, Ron.'She tried to pull the boys out of the kitchen but they shrugged her off and looked at Dumbledore.

'For goodness sake! can we just have one meeting without it being interrupted by you miss Granger and your little friends?'

'I'm so sorry Professor. I just told them about this morning and they aren't taking it very well.'

'OF COURSE WE AREN'T TAKING IT VERY WELL!'

'YOU JUST TOLD US YOU ARE GOING TO BE VOLDERMORT'S SEX DOLL. WE WANT TO KNOW IF IT'S TRUE!'

Nobody said anything to the boys. They looked around the room and waited for someone to speak.

'Well? Is it?'

'Boys why don't you calm down and have a seat. We can talk about this properly.'

Harry turned to Dumbledore.

'Look professor, all we want to know is if it's true. Is our best friend giving herself to Voldermort or not?'

'When you put it like that Harry it sounds absolutely awful-'

'Hermione, I'm asking Dumbledore, and there is no other way to put it. Is it true?'

'Yes Harry it is. She wants to do this-'

'I DON'T CARE IF SHE WANTS TO DO IT OR NOT. I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT AFTER EVERYTHING SHE'S BEEN THROUGH THAT YOU WOULDN'T EVEN CONSIDER USING HER!

'Hang on. How do you know what I've been through?'

Harry turned to Hermione and looked at the floor.

'I was mumble mumble when mumble mumble last week.'

'I couldn't quite hear that what?'

'I was under the invisible cloak when you told Dumbledore everything last week.'

'You what?'

Many people close by moved their chairs back. This was not good. Ron was totally lost. Harry was looking at Hermione who was clearly hurt by what he did.

'I can't believe you Harry.'

'Look Hermione I heard a creak on the stairs, so I went to check out what it was, they when I saw you, I was really worried, I didn't mean to listen I was just so concerned about you, and why you didn't tell me before is beyond me. you are one of my best friends and I was hurt that you never told me.'

_Did he just say that? I never thought Harry would care so much. That's really sweet of him. I can't be mad I suppose._

'Look we'll talk about that later. We are dealing with a different issue now.'

'Ok, But Hermione I really don't want you to do this. After everything you've been through already I don't think you'll be able to handle the emotional strain. I don't think you really know what you're getting yourself into. The dangers! Hermione you would be killed if they found out who you really are. I don't want to loose someone else I love. Yes I got Sirius back, but you know what I went through. Please Hermione I don't want to loose you to.'

Whoa Harry is really considerate. He's so sweet to think of me and what might happen. I'm not even made at him for listening. He was the one I was most scared about telling, not Ron but Harry. I'm glad he knows now, and he seemed really worried about me as well.

'Harry don't say anything until you've heard all the facts ok? I'm going to be going through so many different training regimes. I'll be doing lots of duelling with Sirius, Remus and Mad eye, learning lots of new dark spells as well. I'm doing occulmacy with Professor Snape and Professor Dumbledore will be teaching me to block my mind, an emotional escape if I'm passed around, so I won't be there sort of thing. I know it's dangerous Harry but this is good for me. I want to do something to help the order and if this is what I have to do then so be it.'

'Potter. As much as I don't want to admit this, she is right. The training sessions will help her with any duel she will have to face for the dark side. I know the types of spells they use so I can give some input there. As long as she learns occulmency - lets hope shes better than you - she will be fine when shes face to face with him. And the clearing of the mind will help with healing after the war is over. Don't worry about you friend Potter, she'll be fine.'

'What will you be telling old Volide then?'

'I don't think that's any of your business Weasley'

Dumbledore gave Snape a nod and Snape rolled his eyes.

'Fine, I'll be telling him that Miss Granger would be a powerful asset to the Dark side. That I have watched her powers grow through out Hogwarts and she can do things most fully-grown wizards can't. That's shes book smarts and can out think the light side. I'll tell him that if she went to the light side that it would mean our downfall, and that shes close to Potter so knows his weak points.'

'O.'

'What things will she have to do?'

'She'll have to get close to Voldermort, flirt with him seduce him, that's not an easy task-'

'But she did it to you-'

'Shut up Lupin. Anyway to fit in she would probably have to torture, rape and kill wizards and Muggles.'

Harry noticed that Hermione paled at this. He nudged her and gave her a smile. She smiled back at him.

He really does care about me. Why haven't I ever noticed how great he was before- I don not like my best friend! But his smile...

'She would also have to get the mark to prove she is loyal and he can get in touch with her whenever he pleased. She would be at his beck and call day and night, for what ever he wanted. On her first night he will probably just try and suss her out. read her mind, ask her a few questions and then think about it. This would be the perfect time to 'charm' him. It would influence his decision if you were really 'slutty'.'

'Now boys if that's all, I think you should discuss the rest with Miss Granger or speak to me after the meeting?'

'Thank you Professor.'

Hermione dragged the boy's back out and into the study. Hermione was in a world of her own.

I suppose he's quite cute really. Umm.

Harry to was in a world of his own.

Wake up Hermione! I hope she gets it now that I like her.

Ron however...

I'm hungry.

A.N Hey what you think of that chapter! don't ask why I put that last bit in there, it just felt right. SO... Harry and Ron know now! I know at the moment Ron doesn't seem that bothered but I promise that you'll see his reaction soon! So review please

Dark Raven

-x-


	8. chapter 8: dinner time and realisations

****

I only want to be accepted.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter series.

A.N I love all my reviewers.

bababa: Thanks

BabyFace7000: sorry but heres the next chapter

Silvertears44: I have a ton of chapter planned don't worry! I hope this bit of Harry and Hermione is ok. well I'll keep the torturing in mind, I have most of the next 10 chapters or so planned out.

anarane anwamane: thank you

justine-4902: thanks!

****

Chapter 8: Dinner time and realisations.

Hermione sat at dinner the next day, a lot happier than she had been in a long time. She was finally around people she loved and that loved her back. She never had to see her so called family again and never be hurt because of them. These people - Harry, Ron, Sirius, Remus, all the Weasly's and most of the order where her family now and they would never let anything happen to her.

As she sat at the dinner table, waiting for dinner to be served she looked around at the familiar faces. By the door was Sirius and Remus, they were in deep conversation with one another, she didn't know what about but she didn't need to know. If it was important she would be informed. To the left of them opposite her was Ginny, she was playing with crookshanks and feeding headwig. At the far end of the kitchen was the twins, they had their back to her but she could see that they were talking to Mungdungs. Probably getting some illegal substances from him.

She smiled silently to herself at watching these. She knew she could rely on these people for anything. She loved them all so much and being around them made her happy.

Little did she know that a boy with piercing emerald green eyes, who was sitting down beside her saw her smile. This warmed him up inside to see her finally happy.

'You know it's been so long since I've seen that smile of yours.'Hermione turned and blushed at him.

'Its been along time since I've been happy.''You know I wish you had told me sooner.'Hermione looked away from him. She didn't particularly want to talk about it with him. Only because she did actually want to tell him sooner but couldn't. She found that the corner of the table was suddenly fascinating. Harry saw that she ignored him and tried again.

'Why didn't you? You can talk to me you know.'

'What good would it have done if I had told you? There was nothing anybody could have done without proof. I could exactly run away now could I? I had no where else to go.'

'Well I could have bust a cap in his ass! And come on my firebolt in the dead of night and take you back to the Dursley's and stowed you away in my cupboard until we went back to school. I could have made you my little slave and everything!'Hermione laughed at Harry. He was really dramatic and could always raise a smile out of her.

'You always know the right thing to say.'

'And I make a mean bacon and cheese sandwich!'He put his arm around her and she leaned in to him.

'Aww I'm glad you told me though Hermione. Because I can keep you safe here away from them. You are my best mate Hermione - as well as Ron but I can talk to you and your a hell of a lot better looking - and I don't want any harm to come to you.'Hermione smiled against his chest.

'It's strange, I was more worried about telling you about it then Ron. Don't know why though, I mean Ron's so much better looking and a better friend-'Harry pulled away from her with a hurt and shocked expression.

'Hermione Louise Granger! I'm hurt!'

'I'm sorry, you know I love you too. And I was just kidding. Just don't tell Ron that. You know what he's like.'Harry turned Hermione round and pulled her into a hug. She replied with a equally warm hug. When they pulled away Hermione looked up at Harry.'Thank you Harry.'

Harry kissed her forehead.

'No problem.'They then pulled away as the dinner was served. Both didn't say anything to each other. Both in there own worlds.

_Am I falling for my best friend? He is so loving and I do feel safe and secure around him. His eyes...I've never seen any like them. I want to run my fingers through that unruly black hair and sleep in his arms all night. I do find myself looking at him. Hermione! Stop he's your best friend! _

Just look at her. She beautiful and she can't see it. The way her eyes shine when she gets all fired up. The way her wind blows in the wind and the way she pouts to get what she wants. She's so passionate and I love that about her. She's so good natured and affectionate towards others. I think I'm seriously falling for my best friend. Why can't she see how much I like her?

Once dinner was over most people filled out of the kitchen, then all that was left was Hermione, Harry, Dumbledore, Sirius and Remus. The three adults were talking so that left Hermione and Harry on their own. Hermione decided that she would try and get Harry to notice her a little and see what his reaction would be. Sitting on the table with one of her feet on Harry's chair, she faced him.

'So I bet you have many men planned for your evening ahead?'

'Mr Potter! How can you think that I, Hermione Granger would do such things? I am a lady!'

'I was merely commenting that a beautiful young woman such as your self would have many admirers.'

'Real smooth Harry!'

'Shut up Sirius!'Hermione giggled and smiled at Sirius who had been eavesdropping and then turned back to Harry.

'Mr Potter I never knew you to be such a charmer!'

'Well, charm and noticing the truth are hardly the same thing.'

'Truth? If you say so Harry.'

'You are Hermione!'

'You keep thinking that, I know I'm not.'

'Yes you are Hermione!'

'Harry you need to clean your glasses.'

'Ask anyone! Look I'll ask those three they'll tell you!'

'No Harry please don't embarrass me!'But it was to late, Harry had already stood up and called to the three men on the other side of the kitchen.'Hey Padfoot, Moony, Professor, can you settle something for us please?'

'No Harry please.'She was tugging at his robes pleading with him and flushing with embarrassment at the same time.'Sure, go ahead.'

'Harry don't!'

'Sorry Hermione if you had just admitted it! Well can you please tell Hermione that she is beautiful?'

'Hermione you are gorgeous.'

'Yes, absolutely stunning.'

'Very attractive young lady.'Hermione flushed a deep red with embarrassment and hid her face behind Harry's robe.

'See Hermione, Hermione? Get out from behind me.'He pulled her out and made her face the smiling adults.

'Now do you believe me?'

'I can't believe you did that.'He turned her away from the others smirking and they sit back down at the table.

'I hate you Mr Potter, I really do! I will never be able to forgive you.'

'Aww I'll buy you an ice cream in Diagon Alley tomorrow to apologise.'

'Diagon Alley? Were going Diagon Alley?'

'Yeah, weren't you told? You're coming right?'

'Um, yeah I suppose.'The she stopped. How could she go to Diagon Alley with the £5.63 in her pocket? She would have to go home.

'O shit.'

'What?'

I'm going to have to go home and face my family. I've got to get fresh clothes and my school stuff. I'll have to get my money to pay for it all as well. What they hell am I going to do. They aren't going to let my get back in the house, and the order won't let me go. What if Dan is there? Or John? Or dad, mum? I can't face then, not on my own, it's far to soon. What if they make me stay? O god.

'Hermione what's wrong?'

'I-I- have to go home.'

'What do you mean, this is your home now.'

'No I mean, I have to go back and face them. I've got to get my clothes and personal stuff and school books. I've got to get what little money I have as well, God Harry what am I going to do? I can't see them, they'll make me stay, please don't let them keep me there Harry, I can't go back. Please Harry don't let them take me away.'She flung herself into Harry's arms and he was shocked. He didn't expect that kind of outburst from her. But there was no way in hell that he was letting her go back alone. He would make sure that he was there. To make sure that she was safe from that Muggle family of hers. She was staying here and never going back. He started to rub her back and kiss her hair.

'Shh, it's ok Mya, I promise that they won't hurt you any more. They aren't going to take you away. I'm here now, nobody's ever going to hurt you again. Shh it's ok we'll talk to Dumbledore.'

She lifted her head from his shoulder and stared teary eyed at him.

'I'm glad I have you around Harry, thanks.'

She gave him a quick kiss which shocked them both.

Hermione wasn't sure what made her do it, but she was just drawn to them.

Harry couldn't believe that she had just kissed him. Granted it wasn't a proper kiss but it was a start. Her lips were so soft and tender. She just wanted to hold her in his arms for ever.

'Come on, lets go talk to Dumbledore.'Dumbledore had left the kitchen a little while ago leaving Sirius and Remus deep in conversation. Harry grabbed Hermione's hand and gave it a little reassuring squeeze. They knocked on the study door which they knew Dumbledore was in and proceeded to enter.

'Professor.'

'Ah, Miss Granger, Mr Potter. How can I help you?'

'Well, Hermione and I were just talking and she just realised that she has to go home. She needs to collect her belongings and some money for Diagon Alley. I don't want her going alone, she will be in to much danger with her family. They might try and keep her there or try and hurt her and I'm not prepared to let that happen again.'

'I understand Mr Potter. Don't worry Miss Granger I promised you now you are safe here and I'm not going to brake that promise. I figured you would need to get your things sooner or later so I took the liberty of setting up an account for you. It has enough money to tide you over for a few years. Now I don't want to here that you don't need it because a young girl on her own obviously needs money. Just think of it as a lone and you can pay me back by working hard at this assignment for the order. Now You'll want to get your things tomorrow? Ok I'll will arrange an ADULT group of order members to accompany you encase there is any trouble.'

'Thank you so much professor and I won't let you down. Your generosity is greatly appreciated.'

'But Professor I want to go with Hermione tomorrow. Make sure that she is safe. I care for her dearly and don't want any unnecessary harm coming to her. Please professor.'

'Harry, it's ok. I don't think that you should be there because of your temper. If your see my family and they say something not so nice about me, then you'll probably freak out, which will only make things worse. Please Harry, I promise you I'll be ok and I'll tell you everything when I get back.'

'Ok you sure? Because I'll come if you want me to.'

'No it's ok just don't worry. Thanks Professor.'

'It's ok Miss Granger.'Harry and Hermione left the study made there way upstairs. Hermione was yawing all the way up, which made Harry laugh.

'Tired?'

'Just a b-b-bit.'

'Well I'll let you get off to bed.'They stopped in front of Hermione's bedroom door and there was an awkward silence between them.

'Well erm good night Hermione.'Harry turned and left Hermione at her door. She watched him walk down the hall.

'Harry!'He turned and saw Hermione walking down towards him. As she got closer to him she leant and kissed him on the cheek.

'Thanks for today.'Then she left him there alone in the corridor and went back to her room. She smiled to herself as she walked and wondered if he was watching her. As she opened her door she glanced back and saw that he _was_ watching her. She smiled at him and he returned the smile with a wink. They were both extremely pleased and they weren't sure why.

I'm falling for my best friend. And I really don't care.

I'm falling for my best friend. I think she likes me back.

(please don't choke on all the fluff!)

A.N I was going to carry on, but I thought no, leave it there. Personally I thought that was a crappy chapter, but give it time it's going to be a while before it gets into the full swing of the story. So please review.

Ok this will be my last update for about 2 weeks. I'm going away for a week, I promise I'll try and do some writing when I'm away. Also on the 26th I get my exam results _eekk! god i've failed them all!_ so I'll be celebrating or commiserating for a few days, i've also got to go and enrol at my college on the 27th so I'm quite busy. But don't worry I'm going to try and update before the 30th!

dark raven

-x-


	9. chapter 9: going home

****

I only want to be accepted.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Harry Potter series.

A.N I love all my reviewers. I'm so so so so so sorry my readers! I know I said I would update by the 30th but I have just been so busy! My holiday was shit and I didn't enjoy it one bit! Then when I came back I didn't get the results that I wanted. I got 1a, 5b's 1c, 1d and a U in maths! Go me! So i've had to enrol in maths again at college! So shit. O well. But one thing that lifted my spirits was reading all of your fantastic reviews. My inbox was jammed with reviews from all my stories and i've only just checked them! So here are your responses and thankyou's.

song-blue-carolina: sorry about the fluff! I'm glad you like my writing, i do it for fun and didn't think i was any good.

london-brat: What part of London are you from? I'm so gald you like it!

Yoshi-Riddle:

Hey aki! you will have your reviews soon i promise! cries

Dooley: I'm glad you like it! keep reading!

somebodywhoreadsalot: I'm sorry about the short chapters i really am! I'll try and build up the other characters. if you've got any other suggestions and how to build them up please please let me know!

hermioneandharryshouldbet: Thanks alot.

Emma Barrows: Thanks so much for your reviews!

****

Chapter 9: Going home

Then she left him there alone in the corridor and went back to her room. She smiled to herself as she walked and wondered if he was watching her. As she opened her door she glanced back and saw that he was watching her. She smiled at him and he returned the smile with a wink. They were both extremely pleased and they weren't sure why.I'm falling for my best friend. And I really don't care.

I'm falling for my best friend. I think she likes me back.

On with the chapter...

The next morning Hermione woke up with a smile plastered across her face. At first she couldn't remember why, then she remembered Harry, which made her smile even bigger. But then it hit her why she was with Harry. She was going home. Today. Now. She wasn't going to let fear over come her. She had to put a brave face on, she wasn't going to let her family see that they had beaten her. No, she was going to be strong.

She climbed out of bed and got out a pair of black combat trousers with red and gold butterflies on them and a black and gold tank top.

She pulled her hair back into a pony tail and left her room. She was ready. She was ready for whatever they were going to throw at her. She made her way down to the kitchen. With every step she took, she became increasing nervous. She had a bad feeling about to day, she wasn't sure what was going to happen and that scared her.

Pushing the kitchen door open she was greeted with the warm faces of Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, Bill, Charlie and Harry. She smiled at them all and sat down. Harry came down and sat next to her.

'You ok?'

'umm.'

She sipped the tea that was in front of her. She could see the worry on Harry's face and didn't want him to be even more worried if she told him that she was nervous.

'Mi? Don't worry everything will be ok. I promise. You've got four of the best wizards around going with you, nothing is going to happen and I'm gonna wait right here for when you come back ok?'

She turned to face him. She smiled and hugged him.

'Thank you. I don't know what I'd do with out you.'

'You would have any fun that's for sure.'

She swatted him playfully on the arm. The two chatted for a while, oblivious to the fact that they were being watched by five people.

'I bet it will be by the end of the week.'

'No way 3 more days? Give it a month.'

'Sorry Weasley's but I know my godson. I bet they will be together by the end of the day! My godson is a lady killer!'

'O come on Sirius, you obviously don't know Hermione do you? She's a smart girl it will be at least three months yet.'

'Boys. I'm ashamed that you are talking about these two as if they are animals. They are not something you can bet over.'

'Yeah your right Dumbledore. We shouldn't be betting about when they are going to get together.'

'I'm glad you can see that, and especially as you four are way off. Open your eyes. I know for a fact that they kissed last night. And by the way they are acting I give it just before school starts, but after the first official meeting next week.'

'O come on Dumbledore, you've given them a space of two weeks! what makes you so sure?'

'Just look at them, they are made for each other, its just what they both need. They are both stubborn, so won't admit it to them self's for at least a week yet and then they will be awkward around each other, but you'll see they'll be together within that period. bet the lot of you a gallon that she kisses him goodbye but blushes.'

'Dumbledore! Didn't think you were a gambling man?'

'I'm not, but I want to prove you wrong.'

'Ok I'm in.'

'Sure.'

'Me too.'

'Go for it.'

The five of them went back to looking at the pair. Harry had just made her laugh, and they watched as he placed his hand on her knee. Sirius gave them a triumphant smile, but his faced dropped Errol knocked over Hermione's tea causing it to land it her lap and Harry jerking his hand away.

Hermione cleaned her trousers and asked the others if they were ready. Sirius, Remus, Bill and Charli went over to the fire place and waited for Hermione. She gave Harry and hug goodbye.

'I'll be here when you get back ok?'

'Thanks Harry.'

She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, but realising what she had just done in front of a room full of people, blushed scarlet and made her way over to the fire place. Neither her or Harry noticed the four Wizards hand over a Gallon each to Dumbledore. They were to busy thinking about each other.

Hermione grabbed a handful of floo powder and stood into the fire place. Sirius stood next to her and put his arm around her. She looked up at him and smiled gratefully.

'Granger house!'

She landed in her front room to see it full of people. Sirius stood next to her. She scanned the room and saw her mum, dad, Danny, Charlie and Alex.

'What are _you_ doing here?'

Her dad was then silenced by the presence of Bill, Charli, and Remus. Charlie rushed over to her and hugged her.

'You're back.'

'Chaz, I'm so sorry.'

'Get over here girl.'

Charlie was yanked away from her by her dad.

'Leave her alone dad. She hasn't done anything.'

'Don't you call me dad you little whore. You are not family of mine. You think you can come back here and expect a warm welcome. Not after what you've done to this family.'

'What she's done to your family?'

'Sirius don't.'

Hermione glanced up at him and gave him a warning look. She could feel them all around her tense up when he said these words. She knew that they would want to hex him for what he has done to her.

'No go on _Sirius_ I want to hear what you have to say. What has my freak of a daughter been telling you.'

The four Wizard drew their wands. They hated the fact that after everything she had been through her dad was slagging her off in front of her.

'Mr Granger. I'm not here to talk to you about Hermione, she is here to collect her belongings and leave. But I warn you all now, make things difficult for us, or her, or make any more comments towards her or upset her in any way I won't hesitate to hex you. Are we clear?'

Hermione didn't wait for an answer, she just turned and went to leave the room. Dan, who was standing by the door looked at her and mumbled so only she could here.

'You think you're clever bitch? I'll have you again, don't worry about that.'

Hermione was shaking, this was worse than she thought. She didn't expect her dad, mum and Dan to be here. But if Dan's here then she knew Jason would be to. She drew her wand and made her way up the stairs. Once she reached her bedroom, she let tears fall. She just wanted to get her things and leave. But what about Charlie, she couldn't leave her here.

She was brought back from her packing and thought when she heard her door open. She turned around and before she had time to scream Jason placed a hand over her mouth.

'Scream bitch and you'll be dead by the time they reach your door.'

Hermione was shaking, flashes of Dan came to her mind and she knew it was going to happen again, she knew she was gonna be beaten and raped and there was nothing she could do about it. Jason's other hand reached into his pocket and he pulled out a kitchen knife. She widened her eyes and began to struggle, fighting against him. He brought the knife to her face and traced her jaw line.

'So little sis, you've come back for more, I knew you wouldn't stay away for good. Charlie was getting a little boring, she's nothing like you.'

Her mind was racing, _Please no, please somebody come up please. Where's Harry when you need him. Please somebody come up and find me. _John pushed her up against her desk. Her hands went behind her to balance herself, but she hit the desk with such force that her glass lamp feel to the floor and smashed.

Downstairs they all heard the smash. Sirius turned to Dan who was in the corner, he had a Malfoy trade mark smirk on his face. He turned to Remus who looked worried. Without a second thought he apparated upstairs.

Outside her door, Sirius could hear voice.

'You stupid little bitch, you better prey they didn't hear that.'

Inside Hermione was petrified, she had never seen Jason this angry, and he was holding the blade to close to her throat that any false move could kill her. She closed her eyes, she couldn't bare to look at him anymore. He began to touch her in places she really didn't want to be touched by him. He straddled her leg and grabbed her hand with the one that was covering her mouth. Her forced her hand to touch his semi, through his trousers. She turned her head away in disgust. He made her hand start to stroke him, she felt as if she was going to throw up.

Sirius who was outside the door, knew he had to wait for the right moment to get her, he knew he would have some sort of Muggle weapon or Hermione would have used her wand already. He could hear whimpers through he door.

'Hermione, I love it, you are so good.'

'Go to hell.'

Sirius couldn't believe what was happening, He knew she would be held at knife point or a gun and barging in there could trigger him.

Hermione felt disgusted. He was an animal, but she couldn't move, if she did then that knife could go straight into her neck. Anger was building up in her body.

Jason was furious with her comment, he pulled her from the desk and slammed her against the wall, she hit her head and felt immediately dizzy. He was being more forceful and rough with her. His hands now were kneading her breasts like there was no tomorrow, it hurt like hell, but Hermione had to grit her teeth. If she showed that it hurt then he would win. Then an idea stuck Hermione, play him. Make him think you enjoy it, it will weaken him. Hermione couldn't believe she was going to do it but she had to, to get away, give them down stairs a signal.

Hermione found herself, moving her hands to his lower back and pulling his waist towards hers, she rubbed herself against him, letting him know she was enjoying it.

He pulled back in shock, but then he smirked at her. He leaned in and whispered

'I knew I could brake you.'

Hermione was seeing red, the anger built up inside her was ready to burst, but not yet she kept telling her self. Get him to drop the knife. She felt Jason starting to kiss her neck. _come on drop the knife_. Nothing, he still held it. She pushed her hips against his again, trying to think about other things. Nothing. _Shit come on, just drop it!_

That's it Hermione.'

Sirius didn't want to think about what might be going on, he was livid as it was for not being able to go in, he couldn't risk Hermione's life.

Hermione then pressed her chest against his, getting him to feel her breasts. He then moved one of his hands down and it went up her shirt, he started to fondle her breasts, but he still held on to the knife. Hermione then started to stroke one of his legs hoping that he would do the same with the other hand. He did. He dropped the knife and began to stoke her inner thigh. This was Hermione cue. She pushed him off with all the force she could muster. He fell back over her trunk. He landed with a thud, he hit is head on the corner of her desk and was knocked out.

Out side Sirius heard this and went straight into her room, he got there in time to catch Hermione as she ran out of the room.

'Sirius, I was so scared, he had a knife.'

'It's ok. Come on lets get your trunk, and we can get out of here.'

He levitated her trunk down the stairs and to the fire place. The came into the living room to find a shocking scene. Bill and Charlie had her dad and Dan up against the wall by their throats. The didn't have their wands, they lay forgotten. Remus was sitting on the couch with an amused look on his face. When Hermione entered he got up and went over to her.

'Everything ok?'

'Yeah, ill explain when we get back to the house.'

'Us to, O don't worry about your dad and Dan, You know what the Weasley's are like with their tempers.'

Sirius came up behind her and guided her to the fire place.

'Come on.'

She turned to the fireplace and was about to drop the powder when she looked up at her dad, who was now sitting on the couch. Dan was sitting next to him. Alex, her mum and Charlie were on the other couch.

'I just wanted to say, that no matter what, whatever you do to me, you will never brake me. You may have broken my body and mind, but never ever will you touch my soul. I hate you and I never want to see any of you again.'

'Please Hermione don't leave me here.'

Charlie had come running back up to her. She feel to her knees and was hugging Hermione's legs like her life depended on it. Dan went to get her but Hermione got their first. She dropped to her knees beside her.

'Chaz, I'm so sorry for what they've put you through. It's all my fault and I'm so sorry. I wish there was a way for you to come with me I really do but there isn't. I have to go back to Hogwarts in a few weeks and there is nowhere for you to go. You are a Muggle and can't come to Grimmuald Place. I've spoken to Dumbledore and he promises me that he is going to try and get something done so you can come. I promise Charlie that I will come back for you. Don't cry Charlie, be strong and they will never have you. I promise you they won't get you.'

She hugged her cousin, she didn't want to leave her here, she wanted to take her with her, but she couldn't. Grimmuald place is only seen by Wizards and Charlie would only see and empty space. When she let go, she wiped away a few tears and grabbed her trunk, she didn't wait for someone to go with her she went on her own.

Back at the kitchen, the whole order had turned up to make sure everything went smoothly, on Dumbledore's orders.

They saw the fire place turn green and out came a very distraught Hermione and her trunk. She left the trunk and ran out of the kitchen. Harry shot up and was about to follow her but Sirius and Remus came out of the fire place.

'What happened Sirius?'

'Leave her Harry, it's better she's on her own for a while. We'll get settled and explain everything.'

Hermione had to be alone, she couldn't face sitting in a kitchen with the order and telling them what happened, she couldn't. She ran as fast as she could through the house and out the front door. She couldn't go far becuase of the spell on the house. It was raining out side but she didn't care. She went out and sat on the green in front of the house. She sat under the oak tree and cried. That's all she could do, cry. If she didn't then she would want to yell at the top of her lungs_. Why does everything have to be so complicated? i've only ever wanted to help people, but this is what i get in return. I've only ever wanted to be accepted. _She hugged her knees and cried.

A.N I can only apologies for the delay! starting college is a lot of hard work and takes up a lot of my time. So what did you think of the chapter? Well press that little review button and let me know.!

dark raven

-x-


	10. chapter 10: confusion

**I only want to be accepted**

Chapter 10: confusion

disclaimer: I own nothing

a.n. Thanks for all your reviews.

Anarane Anwamane, bababa, Emma Barrows, lee74, valentines-hater, scorpio-1983, goddess of the rose, Midnight Walker, Egyptian-Princesss

London-brat: No the names not stupid, what part of London you planning on moving to? yeah I'm a London gal. born in Scotland but lived here all my life, can't wait to leave it. what part America you from?

keep reviewing!

Previously

'What happened Sirius?'

'Leave her Harry, it's better she's on her own for a while. We'll get settled and explain everything.'

Hermione had to be alone, she couldn't face sitting in a kitchen with the order and telling them what happened, she couldn't. She ran as fast as she could through the house and out the front door. She couldn't go far because of the spell on the house. It was raining out side but she didn't care. She went out and sat on the green in front of the house. She sat under the oak tree and cried. That's all she could do, cry. If she didn't then she would want to yell at the top of her lungs. Why does everything have to be so complicated? I've only ever wanted to help people, but this is what I get in return. I've only ever wanted to be accepted. She hugged her knees and cried.

And on with the chapter...

Cross-legged, Hermione sat outside for what seemed like hours...

She wanted to kick, and to scream, and to shout; just to let all of her anger and frustration out...and as she sat there contemplating which to do first it began to rain.

Great! Perfect weather!

Flicking her sopping hair out of her eyes; she wrapped her arms tight around her body and hugged herself, trying to keep warm...this weather reflected her state of mind perfectly. The way each of the rain-drops fell to the ground and splattered so quickly reminded her of how she had fallen so many times before...but, they wouldn't brake her, she wouldn't let them...she couldn't...

Failing to keep herself warm, she got up from the now damp ground and made her way back to the front door.

Approaching it she hesitated, did she really want to go in there and face everyone? Have to explain what happened with Jason? See the concern and outrage on Harry and Ron's faces? Did she?

She took a deep breath and pushed the door open, making sure it didn't creak. She crept past the paintings and the stair case and approached the kitchen door. Everyone was still there. _Damn...!_ she thought, steadying herself, she pressed an ear firmly to the door and barred herself to hear what was being said...(_a.n. sound familiar?)_

It was Sirius's low growl of a voice that reached her first.

'I don't...I...I _can't _understand how she...how she lived with them for all those years... That..._family_...is awful.'

You think? You haven't lived with it.

'I can't see, how she kep... -how did she keep this from us...?'

That's Ron's voice...

Well it's easy when you've been doing it for years Ron. Such a perfect life you lead isn't it? Well not all of us are that lucky.

'Mr. Weasley, we all care for Hermione...but...but that really isn't the issue at hand here. It just amazes me how she got away. Sirius?'

'Albus, I don't...I don't know how she did it... I was outside her room because...I...because I knew he had a knife... It's Hermione who can tell us how.'

Please no, I can't relive...anything. Not yet.

'Well we can't push her to say anything. It will be Hermione's choice to say anything to us if she wants.'

Thank you Mrs. Weasley.

Sighing, she figured that this would probably be a good time to involve her self in the conversation; and so, taking another steadying breath, she lightly tapped the door and the pushed it open. She was greeted with dozens of faces.

_Great, just-what-I-need_.

Mrs. Weasley rushed up to her, conjuring a blanket as she went and then throwing it upon her. Hermione hadn't realised she'd been shaking...

'Hermione dear, your soaking wet!'

'I'm fine Mrs. Weasley. It just started to rain.'

'Hermione, dear... _your lips are blue_. Sit down and I'll get you a hot drink.'

Mrs. Weasley guided her to the only available seat which was in between Dumbledore and Harry.

There was silence...absolute and complete. Everyone was waiting for Hermione to speak...and she knew it

_What the hell are you staring at? Fucks sake._

'Hermione...? We know that you are very upset, but it's important to us that you explain what happened.'

Hermione swallowed hard and stared into her cup. She could feel everybody's gaze on hers.

_Just leave me the hell alone why don't you?_

Hermione swallowed hard and instead of replying right away stared deeply into the murky depths of her cup. She could feel everybody's eyes on her and for a while she just pretended that this...none of it...Jason, Dan...becoming a witch...going to Hogwarts...and that Dumbledore, and Ginny...and...Ron...and..._and Harry _had ever happened;and that right now, she was the star of a lavish dinner party of which only the richest and most important guest could attend; and that the only reason everyone was staring at her was because she had just reach the climax of a very funny joke.

J...just-leave-me-the-hell-alone...why can't you just-leave-me-alone...?

'I don't want to go into detail. You can probably guess for yourselves what he tried to do. I don't know how I got away I really don't. I just felt something inside me trying to escape. Something or someone in my head was screaming for me to do something. Just to outsmart him. I don't know how but it was like somebody else was there with me, helping me...'

Hermione put down her cup and pulled the blanket closer around her. She looked up at the people around her.

_Ok I said it, now can you leave off?_

To her left, Dumbledore wouldn't meet her eyes. He starring out the window, brown knotted in concentration, ever since she'd finished talking. She wondered what he was thinking about...

What's up with him? metal note: ask about Charlie.

Next to him sat Sirius, who was looking at his feet. She could tell that he felt guilty about what happened back in her bedroom...but it wasn't his fault. He had been through enough...he didn't need that too.

She scanned the rest of the room until she fell upon Ron's face. He looked deep in thought which was strange for him. She had never seen him concentrate on something like that before, she wondered what was bothering him.

Next to Ron was Harry. It had taken her a few seconds to realise that he was looking at her...his deep green eyes searching her own, for answers, she supposed. She gave him a weak smile and turned away quickly. She didn't want him to see the pain she had buried within her self for so many years...not now...and maybe not ever...And for whatever reason, Harry seemed to sense this and grabbing her hand gave it a reassuring squeeze, this made Hermione catch his eye again and blush.

_What would I do without him?_

'Hermione?'

She looked up to see Dumbledore focusing in on her, the twinkle that had once been in his eyes gone, only to be replaced by a cold and stony look mixed in with concern and confusion.

'Yes sir.'

'When you were in your bedroom, you said that you felt the presence of somebody else? In your head?'

'Yes,'

Dumbledore turned his back on her and stared out the window.

'Curious, how very _curious_.'

Hermione didn't know what was curious and looked up bewildered at Harry, he too shared the same look of blankness and shrugged his shoulders. She looked back at her headmaster who was now shaking his head and muttering under his breath.

'If you don't mind my asking professor, what's so curious?'

Spinning round once more he looked into his favourite students eyes. He was saddened by what he saw, pain. Nothing but pain. he sighed and gave her a smile, _I better tell her._

'...Hermione I'd like you to stay where you are. Harry, Ron, Molly, Arthur, Sirius, Remus, Minerva, Severus, If you could stay as well? Everyone else, we can call it a day, go back to your stations...and remember to contact me with..._anything_, out of the ordinary.'

Dumbledore waited a few moments for the kitchen to filter out. Everyone was sitting around the table confused and looking up at their mentor

He sat his weary legs down and looked around the room. Everyone were waiting for him to speak.

Dumbledore examined a picture on the wall, apparently trying to figure out exactly what to say, while waiting for the kitchen to filter out. Finally, it having grown clear, the remaining people sat stiffly, waiting for him to speak.

He took his seat once more, and clearing his throat imperiously, began to speak.

'Hermione, ever since you came to Hogwarts, I have watched you. I've seen you fail, I've seen you fall, and I've even seen you cry...but I have never seen you give up. You've grown into a strong young woman, a lovely young lady, and as powerful of a witch as I have ever met, and for a Muggle-Born such as yourself this has been exceptional. I've never seen anything like it before, and I am and old man, Hermione, I've seen a lot of things.

'And now when I see the way you were raised, I find myself unable to imagine how instead of swallowing your pride and becoming like the rest of your family, you kept your grades and your high standard up.'

What? I'm just smart and I read a lot. What's so hard about that?

'Professor Dumbledore, I mean no disrespect but where are you going with this? I kept my grades up because I threw myself into my work. That's it.'

'My child I realise that now, and you can not have done a better thing.'

Ok, now I'm confused, what's he on about?

'It's only speculation at the moment, but I think you posses a rare gift, it's Latin term is ''portella morbition'' - '

'-Easy vision.'

'Right, I didn't realise you spoke Latin?'

'I don't I've read about it.'

'Something's never change.'

Everyone turned and glared at professor Snape. He just rolled his eyes. _Why does he insist on picking on me? I bet he's still sore about what happened in that meeting, Haha that was funny._

'Do you know anything about it Hermione?'

She knotted her brow and thought about it.

'No, I can't think of it.' 

'People who posses this gift don't usually come to power until there 16th birthday, and if I'm correct yours was last week?'

She nodded. _What a crappy birthday that was too. I did get a really sweet card from Harry though..._

'So it wouldn't surprise me if you start passing out, you'll also be able to with stand a lot more physically and mentally, depending on the amount of power we you posses. And knowing you, Hermione, I think you'd be very powerful.

'The actual 'power' it self is like having an inner demon that can sense raw emotions - pain, love ect. But you can eventually sense all emotions - fear, doubt. With such a powerful gift it has immense side effects. You'll be able to feel these emotions from the people around you. It's like a form of mind reading, And if I'm correct in thinking you'll be able to sense what spell a person might use.'

Everyone but the professors sat there trying to take it all in, Harry was stealing glances at Hermione but she didn't move and inch.

_I have this? why haven't I realised it before? Why are they telling me now?_

Snape and McGonagal kept shooting worried looks at each other, _could she handle it?_

'Tell her Albus.'

Hermione's head shot up and everyone turned to McGonagal.

_Tell me what? What else is there to tell me?_ S

he was staring pointedly at Dumbledore

'Tell me what?'

'Easy vision can also allow a person to be able to do certain amounts of wandless magic which is powered by your emotions. You will certainly be above the curriculum based spells. Sometimes you might be able to do a spell without realising you did it, it really depends on your emotions and what you are thinking. That's the demon coming alive.'

'And the rest.'

_The rest? Merlin I wish he would get on with it. I'm tired._'

The rest? Can you tell me everything at once?'

'Because this is a very powerful gift, Voldermort might want to use it... Use you. But I am confident in the fact that if we train you right and train you in channelling your emotions and power, you can use it to your advantage. So with your consent, I think it best Moody and Sirius train you in defence, I will teach you Occulmancy and if Minerva can teach you how to channel you emotions and powers. Severus will give you background and the actual mission meetings -'

_That's a hell of a lot to take in. When would I do all of this?_

'Whoa, hang on you actually want her to go through with this?'

Everyone turned to see Ron with a face like thunder, now on his feet and leaning towards Dumbledore.

'Mr Weasley.'

'Ron, sit down.'

'No, Hermione, I don't think -'

'Ron, we'll talk about it after.'

'Hermione-'

'Ron!'

Silence. They had just witnessed the kitchen door slam close, with nobody even near it. Hermione, who was clueless to what just happened rubbed her temples, a headache was forming with all of this new information. She looked up and saw that everyone in the room was once again watching her.

'What!'

'Hermione, dear, did you -I mean to say, erm were you particularly angry a minute ago?'

'Mrs Weasley, what do you want to know that for?'

'Hermione, please?'

'Well yeah I was annoyed at Ron's persistence, but why do you want to know? what's going on?'

'Because something just caused the door to slam close and crack all the wood.'

_Well what you think? sorry for the delay people! review review and did I forget to say review?_

_raven_

_-x-_


	11. chapter 11: training Day pt 1

****

Chapter 11: Training Day pt 1.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

a.n. Thanks for all your reviews.

TammySlark : i do have a beta but i didnt for my first few chapters.

lee74: thanks im glad you like it.

spychick989: i really cant tell you if they save charli or not, you'll have to wait and see. thanks for the review

london-brat : im sorry i havent updated in a while its just college takes up so much of my time. whats Minnesota like?

NicksterPotter: thanks for your review i hope you like this chapter!

TakinMyLastBreath14: wow, thanks for you review. really brightened my day!

Fehlerhaft: thanks!

Dooley : hey, thanks again for your review! and to all of you out there i would like to show you what he wrote:

_KILLswitchiTCH and Matsuda-san--  
What the hell is your problem? Why do you insist on shooting people down? You  
are a discrace to reveiwers. A reviewer is supposed to tell how they liked a  
story and give advice on how to improve. You just tell someone to stop writing  
just because things may be a little different. DarkRaven-04 had a lot of  
potential as a writer and has some great ideas. She just lacks a bit in grammer  
and structure, which isn't always a bad thing. Maybe if you get the stick out  
of your ass, you could become decent people._

if you didnt know, these were two flamers. thanks again dooley.

It had been a few days since the 'incident' and nobody dared mention it. Hermione had shut herself away from everybody, only ever coming out of her room for meals, and even then she was in the kitchen for five minutes. Molly was getting really worried about her, if what Dumbledore said was right then she need people around her, to support her. She needs as much food she could get to build up her energy. Molly wasn't the only one worrying about her either. Harry had tried several times to get her out of her room but the response was always the same.

**FLASHBACK**

'Come on mate, we've tried already today, you know what Hermione's like, she aint coming out. Can we just go play quidditch with Fred, George and Ginny?'

'You go Ron, I want to make sure she's ok.'

'Suit yourself.'

Ron turned back and descended down the stairs. Harry carried on, walking along the corridor to Hermione's room, he approached the door and knocked.'Go away!'

'Mi, It's me Harry.'

'Go away Harry.'

'Come on Mi, it's been 3 days, let me in!'

'No! You might get hurt.'

'I'm willing to take that risk! You can't stay in there forever you know. You've _got_ to come out tomorrow for your training.'

'Then I'll come out tomorrow, now go away.'

Harry shook his head and left her door. It had been the same everyday. She would never let him in, and she would never come out. 

END FLASHBACK

Hermione sat in her room, preparing for her first combat training with Sirius, Remus and Moody. She was nervous to say the least. What if she lost control of her power? What if I hurt one of them? _Come on girl, where is your Gryffindor bravery! Suck it up!_ She took a deep breath and opened her door. She made her way down stairs in her black yoga trousers and red running top. She was told to dress appropriately - whatever that was supposed to mean. She approached the study door, which was to be her training room, and before she had a chance to knock she heard a voice from within.

'Come in Miss Granger.'

She opened the door and walked into a totally different room then what she was expecting.

The room had been divided into different sections. In one part there were punch bags and other such Muggle self defence equipment; the room its self was covered in landing mats and on the opposite side of it was a row of different sized objects on different sized levels.

She looked around but her eyes fell upon her three teachers. Sirius was dressed similarly to her in red jogging bottoms and a tight tank top. Lupin was the same but in blue and moody was just in his cloak.

Her nervous expression must have been obvious to them as Sirius questioned her.

'You ok Hermione?'

'Er, yeah just a little uneasy.'

'Well don't worry we will take it slow. We thought we'd start with some Muggle self defense first. A little kick-boxing?'

'Sure, why not?'

Hermione followed the three over to the punching bags and positioned her self in front of them. Sirius stood behind it holding it still for her.

'Remus and Moody are going to shout instructions out at you ok? Just try and keep up.'

She nodded in response and took a deep breath.'Punch, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right'

Hermione did what she was told and kept up with Remus' instructions.

She never knew she could do this, but it was like something else was taking over her, somebody who was skilled in this type of combat. She was just doing as she was told.

'Kick left, punch left, right, left, kick right.'

This carried on for about half-hour and Hermione was loving it, she was hardly tired and she could feel the force running through her. Sirius, Remus and Moody had never seen anyone pick this up so fast, she was doing it perfectly as if she had been doing it for years.

'Ok, Hermione, we're going to move on to some magic. Moody is going to teach you some blocking spells, while myself and Remus watch. Are you sure you've never done that before?'

'Yeah positive, it just came to me.'

She wasn't feeling nervous at all now, she just loved doing this, the power that she had, and she felt like she could do anything. She made her way over to Moody and stood in front of him.

'Ok Miss Granger- '

'-Hermione.'

'_Hermione_, this is a very powerful blocking spell. It creates a cage around you so curses are easily deflected, but you can stills send spells out of it. It's a very new spell so Voldermort probably won't have heard of it.'

'Ok.'

'The incantation is '_Crintise Cefefida' _and you just simply point the wand at yourself. The charm should last for about 40 seconds depending on how powerful the witch or wizard is behind it. Why don't you give it a try.'

Hermione took a stand and faced Moody. She pointed her wand at herself and shouted

'_Crintise Cefefida'_

Bang. Anyone within a 3 foot radius of Hermione was sent flying back and a bright white orb encircled her.Moody, Remus and Sirius looked at her in awe. They had never seen anyone perform it that powerfully before. Hermione looked pleased with herself until she saw the faces of her three teachers. Her face dropped and she asked then what was wrong.

'It's nothing Hermione. Come on we will try some other spells. We want you to take this book on blocking spells and keep practising for next week. We are going to try some dark spells now. They're very powerful- but that shouldn't be a problem for you.'

'Sure Sirius no problem.'

'Ok, I learnt this when I was in Azkaban. It's a spell that slows time down but you stay regular. You swish you wand in a circle and shout '_Timus Portis.' _Want to give it a try_?' _

'Yep defiantly.'

The three teachers stood well back as Hermione took a place in the middle of the room.

'TIMUS PORTIS.'

Waves emitted from her wand and like a blanket it covered the entire room. She wasn't sure if it worked or not.

'Did it work?'

'Yyyyeeeesssss Hhhheeerrrmmmiioonnnee iittt dddiiiiddd.'

Hermione burst out laughing. It was really funny to see the three of them 'moon walking' and talking so slowly. A few minutes later the spell wore off and the three who had been trying to walk over to her collapsed on the floor which made her laugh even harder. The three got up grumbling. It wasn't that funny. They gave her sour looks.

'Ok I think that's enough for today, go over the books we gave you and we'll see you here same time next week.'

'Ok come on Remus! Please I want to do some more! What about a battle.'

'O that wouldn't be fair. 3 fully-grown adults against a child? _No,_ not going to happen.'

'O moody please! I've got this power drive and I'm full of energy! _Please_, it gives you a chance to test me! It could be the three of you Vs me! Come on please?'

'No. Dumbledore would never forgive us -'

'- Dumbledore wouldn't have to know!'

'He knows everything, that man!'

'Well he didn't know about me did he? And my family?'

The three of them shifted uncomfortably. That was true, he didn't know about that, maybe he wouldn't find out.

'Ok fine, but only basic spells.'

She ran up to Moody and hugged him.

'Thank you Proffessor!'

Sirius rolled his eyes and changed the room into an obstacle course. It was filled with places to hide and jump behind. It was perfect.

'Ok, If we all find a starting position and then if I shout go, we start?'

Hermione ran and hid behind a rather large box. She watched as Sirius hid opposite her, and Remus and Moody to her right. _This is going to be easy. _She didn't have to wait long for the signal as Sirius jumped up and cast a spell to her hiding place, It came alive and ran away. She jumped up in full view of all three of them and ran, as fast as she could dodging the spells being thrown at her and jumped behind a stack of crates.

Silence. She was sitting with her back to them trying to catch her breath. Then to her left she heard some floor boards creak, she got on her hands and knees and peered around the corner, she could see Moody creeping from one place to another with his back away from her, this was ideal for an attack, she pointed her wand and shouted

'Wingardium Leviosa!'

She levitated him up 4 feet and them dropped him on some mats 6 feet away, he went down with an 'oomph', his magical eye rolling across the room towards her. She giggled and turned away. _1 down 2 to go._ Nobody moved, nobody dared. But Hermione, she wanted to move, just to make them attack her so she could find out where they were. She peered around the right and saw a wall. If she could just get over there. She got onto her knees and counted _one...two...THREE, and _bolted across. Just as she predicted, two sparks came from a little away from where Moody lay. _They checked on him. How sweet._ She rolled across the floor and shot a disarming spell towards them. It caught Remus and he was sent over some crates, he hit his head on a box and was out cold. She heard Sirius mutter shit and laughed.

'Come on Sirius! Come find me!'

Sirius didn't have time to responded, Hermione sent a fire spell to where Sirius hid and set it on fire, he jumped out from behind it and ran to another place, Hermione sent another spell towards him, but it missed him and hit the wall, Sirius ducked, shielding his head from the falling concrete, and hid where Hermione was before. Watching where he was, Hermione said the first thing that came to her head.

'Militois!'

The boxes disappeared leaving a crouching Sirius in full view.

'Expelliarmus!'

His wand came flying towards her and she caught it with ease, then got up from her hiding place and approached Sirius. He looked at her in amazement.

'Ok, stop. I don't know how you did it. But you beat us.'

Hermione grinned and gave him back his wand.

'That was fun don't you think? Can't wait to do it again!'

'Well we'll see. Why don't you go and meet Snape now and I'll bring these two around?'

'Ok sure. See you later Sirius!'

'Bye Mi,'

Pleased with herself, she skipped out of the room. She loved every minute of that. It tested her limits and the adrenaline rush she got from it was phenomenal.

Sirius watched her leave and sighed.

_She's got some power on her. _

He walked over to Remus and woke him up.

'What the hell happened?'

'Ill explain in a minute, we need to wake Mad-eye up first.'

The two of the walked over and said

'Enervate.'

Mad-eye opened his one eye and was grateful when Remus gave him his glass eye, Nobody said anything about what just happened, Until the silence got to much for Sirius.

'How could she advance that much in an hour?'

'Sirius my boy, she is going to be one very powerful witch. I've never seen anything like it before. She's 16 and is better than most fully-grown aurors. I've only seen power like that twice before. Once with Dumbledore and the other - Voldermort.'

'Moody, I'm worried that this is all going to go to her head. You heard her, she said she had a hunger for power, she needs to learn how to control it and fast.'

'You're right.'

'You don't see it do you?'

Sirius and Moody looked over at Remus who was surveying the damage.

'What do you mean?'

'I mean with power like that, she's going to be a vital asset to the light side, but with this mission, she might be swayed to the dark side, especially if Voldermort can offer her more power.'

'You don't honestly think that do you Moony?'

'Padfoot, it all fits, I'm just hoping that never happens.'

They were interrupted by a knock at the door and Dumbledore coming in.

'So how's she _do-ing_?'

He looked around the room and saw the damage. There were boxes and creates everywhere, a hole in the wall and a small fire in the corner.

'What in Merlin's name happened here?'

The three looked at each other.

'Where is my star pupil? I do hope you didn't hurt her too much, Molly won't be pleased.'

The three of them looked at Dumbledore with bitterness in their eyes. Moody got up and approached him.

'Albus, it's not her that got hurt, she beat _us_.'

'Really? Has she advanced that much that she can beat three fully-grown men?

There was humour in his voice as he said it, which caused disgusted looks from the trio.

'So what happened?'

'What do you think? We started off easy enough, just some kickboxing, which she's a pro at by the way, and she's never had a lesson. Then I went on and taught her a blocking spell. When she cast it, it was the most powerful doing of it I've ever seen. It sent the three of us flying. Then Sirius taught her the slowing time spell, it kept us in slow motion for about 3 minutes. Albus, this girl's power is growing - fast.'

'I see, But how do you explain the damage in here?'

They all looked at each other again and Remus spoke up.

'She said she was full of energy and wanted a challenge so challenged us to a duel. The three of us Vs her. We of course refused but she insisted. We came up with a small obstacle course and we'll you can probably come to your own conclusion.'

Chuckle.

'Well she is a very powerful witch, and by the looks of it is only going to get _more_ powerful.'

'The thing is Dumbledore, We are worried about her. Don't you think that she won't be able to control this power? That it would be too much for her?'

'And just before you came in I said to these two, that she might be swayed to the dark side if Voldermort can offer her more power. She's a vital asset to either side.'

'Yes I see what you mean. Well I really do need to see for myself the advance in strength, so after dinner, I'll battle her and see.'

well there you have it. personally i hate it. let me no what u think.

raven

-x-


	12. chapter 12: training Day pt 2

I only want to be accepted.

chapter 10: I want to prove myself part 2

A.N thank you to all my reviewers.

Dooley: thanks as always

DarthBecca: next instalment is here!

malfaldaweasley: thanks. battle with dumbledore isnt in this one im afraid. :(

NicksterPotter: thanks!

Hermione walked from the kitchen with a bottle of water in one hand and a little smile on her lips. She couldn't believe what happened 10 minutes ago. She - Hermione Granger had just beaten 3 fully grown wizards in a dwell. She was more than happy. Things were finally going right for her, nothing could spoil her day, not even her meeting with Snape. Except, except Charlie, there was a little nagging at the back of her mind, telling her that she had to do something. Shaking her head and pushing that thought to the furthest crevice of her mind. She walked into the Black study, where her very pissed off potions master was waiting for her.

'You're late.'

He didn't turn to face her. He stood with his back to her, looking out the window. It was raining. Hermione rolled her eyes, _trust him to keep up his greasy persona._ He wasn't going to let him spoil her mood.

'Sorry, training ran a little long.'

'That is no excuse; the Dark Lord will not entertain such pathetic excuses!'

Hermione was taken back by his sudden abrupt harshness. She thought that he might be a little more relaxed with her, considering her role with the Order now. She hated people talking down to her. Yes, at school she had to take it, and when she was at home talking back wasn't an option, but now, now she was out of that hell hole, why should she take it? She wasn't at school now and she certainly wasn't at home.

'I don't mean to be rude _Sir, _but what's your problem? Why are you being so nasty?'

I don't have time for this. Why can't she just do what I ask? Insufferable know-it-all.

'I haven't the faintest idea what you are talking about Miss Granger, so stop your nonsense and pay attention!'

He turned his back to her again and started to walk a few feet away from her. She knotted her brow,

_why is he treating me like a student?_

'That…! The rudeness! We are not at Hogwarts any more, so can you treat me like a human _instead_ of a student?'

Snape spun around,

_how dare she speak to me like that?_

He walked over to her and stood 6inches from her. His 6'1 frame towered over her, she wasn't a small girl 5'7 but that didn't stop her from being intimidated by the slimy, bitter, overgrown bat.

'Miss Granger, It may of slipped your mind, but I am still your professor and I will treat you as I wish.'

'You are not my professor at this moment in time. I don't care for your rudeness, so if you are not going to treat me as an equal then I am leaving.'

She turned her back on him and made to leave, only stopping at his raised voice.

'AN EQUAL? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU ARE _MY_ EQUAL?'

'HOW ABOUT THE FACT WE ARE _BOTH _RISKING OUR LIVES AS SPIES FOR THE LIGHT SIDE?'

Never in his whole career as a teacher had anyone ever stood up to him like that. He was shocked to say the least.He was always used to people cowering away from his glare but not this time, not _this_ girl. He didn't know whether it was her new found power that increased her attitude or not, but he actually _admired _it.

He smirked at her.

She was right, maybe he _should_ treat her with more respect - especially considering what she was going to be doing.

'Ok, ok _Hermione. _I will treat you as an equal, on one condition. _You _-under no condition- are allowed to call me Severus. You may call me sir or professor.'

'That's hardly fair, I'll call you Sir in front of everybody else, _but_ when we are in these sort of circumstances please allow me to call you Severus.'

He mused on that.

_I suppose it won't be that bad._

_'_Fine. Now we don't have much time, sit down, and I can run through what's been said.'

Smiling to herself, she sat in the chair in front of him that he offered her. The atmosphere around them seemed more relaxed. Perhaps it was because the formalities had been dropped. Perhaps it was because of the situation they were in, they weren't sure.

'Right, I don't know if Dumbledore has spoken to you yet today, but I went to his side last night and told _him_ about you.'

A cold air swept over her, sending a shiver down her spine. Hearing him say those words didn't seem right, they seemed _real. _Like this was actually going to happen and wasn't all just an idea.

'What did you say?'

Her voice was a little shaky, he paid no heed to it.

'I said that I might be able to recruit a very powerful witch into our ranks. I said that you were still at school but your power exceeded anything I had seen before. He seemed interested in you. Started to ask a lot of questions-'

He didn't continue, they were interrupted a knock at the door.

'Enter.'

It was Harry and Ron. They came into the room and looked quite surprised that Hermione and Snape actually sat across form each other -_calmly_. She stole a glace at Snape, he looked very pissed off.

'What is the meaning of this?'

'My mum sent us to see if you and Hermione will be joining us for lunch.'

He sighed and turned towards her.

'Miss Granger would you mind if we ate in here? We have a lot to get through and I have to be away soon.'

Hermione could have fallen off her seat laughing at the expressions on Harry and Ron's faces. They had never seen Snape be polite to a student before; let alone a _Griffindor._ Suppressing a giggle she replied

'Sure Sir, if that's what you think is best.'

'Tell Molly we are eating in here.'

He didn't even face the boys when he said this. They just stood there gobsmaked. Snape eventually turned to the still boys

'Go, away with you!'

They turned and practically ran from the room. Once the door was closed Hermione burst out laughing. Snape gave her a curious look.

_What was she laughing at._

'What?'

'Did you see their faces? Merlin! What a picture!'

'Yes, your two body guards did seem quite confused.'

He waved his wand and a plate of sandwiches appeared in front of them with a few bottles of butterbeer.

'Thanks.'

'You're welcome. Right where was I? Yes, well I eventually told him who you actually were.'

'What do you mean?'

'That your Potter's best friend. And a Muggleborn.'

'O...'

'He was quite surprised that I would actually suggests bringing filth into his ranks-'

Hermione's head shot up; hurt.

'Excuse me?'

'His words Hermione, _not_ mine.'

She looked down at her plate still hurt by his words. Did she really want to get involved in something where she was still going to be dirt?

'Hermione, you must understand that this attitude will not be uncommon within the meetings and such. That type of prejudice is going to be thrown at you left, right, and centre.'

'I know, but well it's just a bit of a surprise I guess.'

'You are going to have to accept it.'

There was silence between the two. Hermione, still rather hurt and confused, Snape really didn't know what to say to comfort her. He didn't really know _how_

'It doesn't matter, what else did he say?'

'Once I explained that you could be a vital asset to us, being so powerful and so close to Potter and Dumbledore, he began to see it my way.'

'And...?'

'And before he makes any firm decision he needs to meet you, see if you are worthy.'

'When?'

'Tomorrow.'

Tomorrow? That's so soon! I haven't had time to prepare! Seeing the worry on her face he carried on.

'I know it's soon, but you'll be fine. You just have to pretend to really hate Potter, Dumbledore and the light side.'

'That's going to be hard.'

'He can tell a liar from miles away so you must make it believable. He will question you and try and catch you out-'

'What sort of questions?'

'Like, 'you seem to worship the ground that Dumbledore walks on...'

'Ok I think I get it,

Dumbledore is nothing more than a Muggle loving fool, I despise anyone who thinks otherwise. The light side are lower than the dirt on my shoes.'

Then, making the two of them jump a foot in the air, a voice came from the door and interrupted them again.

'I sincerely hope that you don't think that Miss Granger.'

Hermione spun around in her chair to face her headmaster. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth.

'Professor! I'm sorry I didn't mean-'

He chuckled at her expression. His eyes annoying twinkled at her.

'It's ok child, I know what you were doing. I just came to ask you to meet me in the Training room after you dinner this evening. I'll leave you to it.'

He turned and left them. Hermione was bright red, embarrassed beyond belief. Snape smirked at her expression too.

'You were pretty convincing, but not enough, that will not fool him. We'll try some more later.'

'Ok, what next?'

'What you are to wear.'

'O.'

'Stand up and I'll transfigure your clothes.'

Hermione was nervous. More than nervous, almost hyperventilating.

'Look, I'm not sure about this-'

'Hermione, there is no way you can do this if you do not know how to look.'

'I know, but I'm not used to things like this. I don't dress like _that._ It's not me.'

'Hermione, you are not trying to be you. You trying to be - _his bitch.'_

'Nicely put. But still, I'm a little uncomfortable.'

'WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE!'

Hermione stared at him in shock.

'Look, you don't really have a choice in this. You have to do this or you will fail and you don't want that do you?'

'No, but-'

'No buts! Come on.'

'Fine.'

He waved his wand and instantly her jogging bottoms and top were turned into a halter neck, very short blue dress. It had a never ending plunging neck line and was cut half way up her thigh. The back tied up with ribbons. All in all the dress didn't leave much to the imagination. She looked down at herself and was shocked. She didn't know whether she liked it or not.

'Well?'

'It's...it's well erm _revealing_.'

'Of course it is! This is what he likes.She crossed the room and stood in front of a mirror. She actually looked _good._

'Hermione, I suggest you try dressing a little differently at Hogwarts. There are many Death Eater children and can easily report back to him. It is possible that you might have to change your whole attitude towards Potter. We will have to see. But now you know what he likes, so you can do it yourself in future.'

'Yes thanks. Severus? What are the chances of me having to change my attitude towards Harry?'

'It depends on whether he sends some of his Death Eater Jr's like Malfoy, Parkinson and Zambini to keep an eye on you. You might have to have a fake argument to show tension between you. It depends. You will have to do whatever he wants.'

She was thinking about how this might affect her chances with Harry. She really liked him and didn't want to go the whole year with them hating her or her having to stage fights for _his_ benefit. They were her best friends.

Again he waved his wand and she was now back in her jogging bottoms and t-shirt.

'Ok one last thing before you can go. Do you remember when Potter had to have occulmency lessons?'

'Yes,'

'Well you'll have to have them too. Lets just hope you're a little better than him. I'm going to cast the spell and you need to do everything you can to stop me entering your mind. I don't expect you to do it first try.'

'Ok. Shoot.'

She stood about 10 feet away and watched as he swished his wand. A flash of green light came towards her and the impact sent her back 2 feet. Flashes invaded her mind.

She was in the training room with Sirius, Remus and Mad eye. She had just sent Remus flying and was now crouching behind the boxes, catching her breath.

Standing at her bedroom door with a smile on her face, she turned around and saw Harry. His face sent an unusual heat through her body.

She was about 10 years old, in her garden wearing a summer dress. All her family was around her. Her aunt pulled her to face her and started shouting at her. 'Stupid little bitch.' 'Think you're so clever don't, you?' 'You-are-nothing!' Hermione ran back into the house and cried on her pillow.

Jason hitting her in the kitchen. Falling to the floor in a blur. She could feel the bruise on her cheek.

Dan, his body pressed against hers. Tears streaming down her face. Her, crying out in pain.

That was enough for her. She shouted out and waved her wand. She wasn't sure what spell she cast but it must have been a powerful one. She opened her eyes and saw that her potions professor was backed against the wall panting heavily. They both stared hard at each other not knowing what to say.

He had just seen all of those images. He saw her family, Jason and Dan. Tears sprang into her eyes.

Snape couldn't believe what he just saw. He knew what she had been through but never actually _knew, _he actually _felt_ her pain. He saw he awful family. He saw her so-called family beating her. He saw the rape.

He looked over to her and met her eyes. They were filling with tears.

'Hermione I-'

'Don't. Just don't.'

'Maybe we should leave it for now. Why don't you go freshen up for dinner. I need to speak with Dumbledore.'

She didn't say goodbye. She just opened the door and left.

ok please please please review!

raven

-x-


	13. chapter 13: sexual favours

I only want to be accepted

disclaimer: i own nothing!

A.N: I'm so sorry that i haven't updated in so long! im not going to insult you by giving you stupid excuses, please except my apology!

sporty12gd4u: Thanks for your review

Midnight Walker: Thanks for your review i hope you like this one!

wiseupjanetweiss: Thanks

NicksterPotter : sorry i kept you waiting

honeyduck: cheers

malfaldaweasley: of course im writing more!

noy Majere: im sorry i made you cry!

chapter 13: sexual favours!

Hermione walked into the kitchen after her meeting with Snape. She had to get out of that room as fast as possible. How could she face him, knowing that he had seen her in her most vulnerable moments? She wasn't embarrassed, she was ashamed.

Ashamed that, that had ever happened to her, ashamed to be related to those monsters, ashamed to be her.

Perhaps if she was a better witch then she could have prevented anything like that from ever having happened. Perhaps if she were a better person people would have treated her better.

There was only one person in the kitchen when she went in - Harry. A sly smile crept on to her lips as she approached him from behind. Maybe she could tell him what she was feeling. He would listen, he was her best friend. But it seemed that he was in a world of his own.

I've got to tell her, face-to-face. But what if I get shot down? O come on take the risk! Harry you can do this just tell her. She's your best friend.

'Tell her.'

'Tell who what?'

Harry spun around and saw that Hermione was inches away from him. _Did I just say that out loud?_

'I erm. Nothing.'

He blushed, it could have put the Weasley's hair to shame.

'Come on Harry tell me.'

She sat down beside him, and took his hands in hers. His heart skipped a beat, he looked up and met her eyes,

_those eyes will be with me 'til my grave I swear it, so beautiful, so clear, so full. _

Come on it's now or never, be a man about this!

Hermione's mind was racing, did he like her? Some how she could almost _feel_ the attraction between them. She was going to take her chance. Harry took a deep breath and looked at her again.

'Look Mi, erm, I need to tell you something -'

'Orh when's dinner? I'm starving.'

Ron.

_I'm going to kill him! _

I swear Ron, I'm going to strangle you in your sleep!

'O, hey Hermione, how's training going?'

'Fine Ron. Harry I'll be back in a minute.'

She brushed her arm over the back of his shoulders and walked out of the kitchen.

Please follow me, come on Harry.

'You. Ron. Are an idiot!'

Harry walked out after her, fuming at Ron's idiocy. He almost had her.

Ron stood looking at the kitchen door dumbfounded.

'What did I do?'

Jogging slightly up the stairs to catch up with Hermione, he saw her round the corner to the bathroom.

'Hermione!'

Yes! She turned around to face him, and waited for him to catch up. A smile played on her lips as she watched him approach.

'Hey, what's up? Anything wrong?'

'O No, well yes, erm no.'

His nervousness was cute. She flashed him a smile which made his heart skip. _Just look at her, so bloody sexy without even trying._

'So what is it? Yes or No?'

'I. Look I'm just going to come out and say this, you've been my best mate for how long? And I know this may be sudden, But I erm-'

She wasn't sure how or why but she knew. She knew that he felt something more than friendship for her. She knew he wanted to kiss and feel her. She _knew_. The nervousness radiated from him.

'-Harry?'

'Yeah?'

'Shut up.'

Hermione closed the gap between them, never braking the gaze between them. She leaned up to him and kissed him.

Is this for real? Is she really kissing me?

I'm Kissing him!

Harry snaked his arms around her waist and Hermione's crept up to his neck. She lightly nipped at his bottom lip opening her mouth slightly. Harry wove his tongue into her waiting mouth. Their tongues battled for dominance, too long had they waited for this from one another. Her stomach was in knots and she loved it, he could make her feel so good. She moaned against his lips, driving Harry's senses wild.

God, her lips are so soft.

I can't believe it.

Their hearts were beating a thousand miles an hour. This felt so right.

Harry pushed lightly at her waist and she backed herself against the wall. The sudden impact against the cold wall made her gasp. They broke apart, looking at each other. Not really knowing what to say.

'Wow.'

'Yeah wow.

Look I hate to do this, but we better get to dinner of people will start to look for us.'

'You're right, as always.'

She smiled at him and they linked their hands, making their way down to the kitchen. Before they entered Hermione pulled Harry to one side.

'Harry, I don't know about you, but I don't want to broadcast this to everyone. Can we keep it our secret?'

'Sure whatever you want sweets.'

Giggling slightly she looked up at him

'Sweets?'

He shrugged his shoulders and let go of her hand. This little action sent a funny feeling through the both of them. A cold unwanted feeling. Harry ignored it and pushed the door open. Hermione however didn't know what to make of it. How could she feel all of these things? What was going on?

Dinner went without any problems, Harry and Hermione sat in a world of their own. Talking and laughing like they were the only ones in the room, oblivious to them were the conversations and thoughts around them.

Snape was talking to Dumbledore, explaining to him what he saw.

'Albus, I'm not sure if she can take it. The flashes I saw, I'm surprised she has stayed fine this long.'

'I understand Severus, but she's a strong young girl. Let me have a word with her. See if she has any doubts. Then we can talk about this.'

'I know, but Albus I _felt _it. It was awful, the shame, the pain, the anger, the fear of her own family. Nobody should have to ever experience that.'

'Just out of curiosity, what did you see? And tell me what you felt.'

Severus knotted his brow, trying to remember. Flashes invaded his mind.

'Some sort of battle between Black, and Lupin. She was crouching behind some boxes. She felt powerful and excited. Really driven and determined.'

The headmaster nodded for him to continue, he knew this already, he wanted some past memories.

'Merlin, her and Potter - that I didn't need to feel, teenage lust.'

He smiled weakly at the potions professor. He was the only one that knew him for the true man he was, under the cold exterior was a man who was battered and torn. He knew Snape was not like the facade he gave off.

'After that was some sort of family gathering, they were screaming at her, she was only about 10. Telling her she was worthless, obviously they were intoxicated. She was frightened and nervous, like she knew they were going to hit her or something.'

This is what he wanted to know. Her background, and as much as he possible could. There was no way she was going to re-live it again. If his assumptions were correct then she would have forced all of these memories right back into her mind. But he knew that one day she was going to have to face all of these memories. If she was going to unlock her full potential then she would have to face all types of pain and hurt. Especially the ones that caused the most fear in her life.

'Afterwards was her that same day, probably after, crying in her room. That was horrible, seeing a frightened little girl cry, but at such a young age she was feeling outcastes and ashamed to be her.'

She was having more of an effect on Severus than Dumbledore realised. Very rarely did he show compassion towards another, but being forced to see her painful memories must have been terrible for him.

'The tragic thing is Severus, that I believe that she still believes that to be true. Miss Granger is a very good actress and an extremely talented witch to keep this from everybody. If there was anything we could do for her now, don't you think I would have? We just have to give her time, these wounds are going to have to be healed on their own. But please continue with what you saw.'

Severus sighed. He didn't like to think about these things. He'd been through terrible things being a Death Eater yes, but being forced to recount these, that somebody else experienced was just as troublesome.

'There was a male family member hitting her, that I assume was quite recent because I recognised him, the one that cut her. She - actually it was like she was expecting to be hit that time. But after it was pure anger and pain.'

'And the last was the one where she was, erm assaulted. The shame she felt, she was blaming herself at one point, it was appalling. Albus, you know I'm not a man to express sympathy for anyone, but Miss Granger has certainly been through it and experienced things at such a young age. The range of emotions - most people would never experience them.'

Dumbledore nodded towards the younger man. They would just have to help her when and If she ever came to them.

Across from them Remus and Sirius we also discussing the pair.

'Moony I hate it when Dumbledore is right. He knows everything that man!'

'I know, but aren't you happy for them? They've both been through so much, they deserve each other.'

'Yeah, you're right. Perhaps my God-Son can find comfort in her. Merlin knows he needs something to go right in his life.'

'As does she.'

They looked over at the pair, they were laughing.

'Harry, he's really not that bad!'

'He's a slimy git! I don't know how you can stand being around him.'

She shrugged her shoulders.

'We've come to an agreement.'

Curiosity got the better of him. He narrowed his eyes at her,

'What sort of agreement?'

'That's my business!'

'O come on! I want to know if my girl is giving her potions professor sexual favours!'

Hermione looked at him shocked. Did he just call me his girl?

DID HE JUST SUGGEST I GIVE SNAPE SEXUAL FAVOURS!

'Harry you're sick!'

'I'm sorry.'

'Did you mean what you just said?'

'What?'

'About me being your girl?'

'Of -'

'Miss Granger? Can I speak with you?'

'Of course Sir, I'll speak to you later Harry.'

Hermione followed her headmaster out of the kitchen

A few minutes later they were seated in the lounge, with tea and biscuits in front of them. It seemed like Dumbledore was waiting for something, what, she wasn't sure of.

She didn't have to wait long to find out either, there was knock at the door and in came Sirius, Remus, Snape and Mad eye. Hermione was shocked to see them all in there. Had she done something wrong? _What was going on?_

'Can I ask what's going on?'

'No need to worry Miss Granger, we just want to talk to you.'

'Ok.'

The four sat next to Dumbledore and watched her. Five pairs of eyes on her made her feel nervous to say the least. She sat opposite them wringing her hands in her lap.

'Miss Granger, I've been speaking to Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Alastor and Mr. Snape about your experiences today. They have all said the same thing to me. Do you know what that is?'

What could all four of them say about her. _What is going on?_

'No I'm afraid not sir,'

'Well Miss Granger, they are _astounded_ by how much you can take. Do you realise what it means to beat 3 fully grown wizards in a duel when you are only 16?'

She heard someone suppress a laugh. Dumbledore sent Snape a warning glare and continued.

'I am worried that your powers are growing too fast for you to handle. It was only a few days ago when you lost you temper and caused damage, and today you are doing things I expected of you only after _months _of training.'

'I don't understand. Why is this such a bad thing?'

'Because Miss Granger, at the rate you are going I'm worried that the training scheme you are on won't be worth it. We are afraid that you won't be able to control it. That it might be too much for you.'

They don't have much faith in me. How do they know I can't handle it? They don't!

'Right.'

She got up from where she sat and walked towards the door. The five men on the sofa sat confused.

'Miss Granger, where are you going?'

She spun around in a blaze of anger.

'I mean no disrespect, but I'm not going to sit here and listen to you saying that you don't have faith in me. I've had that all my life and I thought taking this mission on would help me to be accepted. Obviously I was wrong.'

Dumbledore waved his wand and locked the door before she got to it.

'Open the door.'

'No Miss Granger. Not until you understand what we are saying.'

'I understand perfectly fine, please open the DAMN DOOR.'

Anger got the better of her, she wasn't sure how it happened but the chandelier broke away from the ceiling and smashed the coffee table in front of them. They all sat staring at her in awe.

'This is what we are saying Miss Granger. You can not control what you have.'

'Mad eye you won't let me! You don't have any faith in me and let me try.'

'Hermione we aren't saying that! We want to help you, but we are worried about the consequences it will have on you. Especially after everything-'

'Don't you dare! Don't you stand there and think you know of anything I've been through. If you did Sirius, then _you_ would understand that I _have_ to do this. You have to give me a chance.'

She looked around the room at the five men. None of them stared at her, what was it? Guilt? Did they feel guilty?

'You feel guilty. Why?'

'What?'

'One of you, Snape or Dumbledore, one of you feels guilty.'

Lupin, Sirius and Mad eye looked confused at the other two. Dumbledore had a small twinkle in his eye. Maybe he was wrong. Snape however looked at the floor.

'Professor Snape it's you. What do you have to feel guilty about?'

'Miss Granger. How do you know what I feel?'

'I don't know. I can _sense _it. Isn't this what was supposed to happen. I start to feel people's emotions?'

'Yes, you are right Miss Granger. I think I may have miss judged you. I can see the determination in your eyes. Perhaps, perhaps you _will _be ok.'

'It still doesn't answer my question. Professor Snape, you feel guilty about me, why?'

He sighed and faced her. _Suppose I better tell her._

'Earlier...when I was teaching you occulmancy, and you had those flashes, you are aware that I saw them also?'

She nodded her head. _Where was he going with this_?

'Well it was me that went to Dumbledore with the worries you couldn't handle this. I didn't just see what happened. I felt what _you_ felt. I think that has something to do with your power, but what I felt from you, made me think that you had been through far to much to have _this_ burden on your shoulders as well.'

'Thank you for your honesty. But you of all people should know now, because of you feeling that, that this is a way for me to gain acceptance. To be _me. _And not what people want me to be.'

They stood there looking at each other, it made sense and he wasn't sure how to respond to it.

'Miss Granger are you sure about this?'

'Yes, I want to do this Professor, please don't stop me.'

'Now who am I to get in the way of a young witch determined?'

'Thank you.'

Hermione turned once again to leave until she heard Moody's voice.

'I think Mr. Potter is waiting outside you room for you.'

Hermione reddened. _Why did Moody have to say that? Now the five of them know_!

'Don't worry Hermione, we won't say anything.'

'Thanks Sirius.'

Hermione left the room as fast as possible. _That was embarrassing._

She walked up the stairs with butterflies in her stomach. Was she nervous to see Harry. This was defiantly a new feeling. She liked it. She crossed the landing and saw that Harry was waiting for her.

'Hey,'

'Hey yourself. How'd your meeting go?'

She didn't answer him. She stood two inches from his face and leaned in and kissed him, for the second time that day. This time it was different. This time there was heat. She pressed her body against his, he instinctively put his arms around her waist.

She didn't know why she did it. She could just feel the _need_ from him. She pulled away from him in the need for air.

Maybe this can be useful after all.

so what you think? i know the kiss was very cliche but how are you supposed to right that sap?

and i promise you the next chapter is so much better!

raven

x-


	14. chapter 14: The dark side

I only want to be accepted

Thanks to everyone that reviewed! I love you all so much!

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NicksterPotter: I'm sorry it took so long to update! But I do make them quite long, so I hope that makes up for it!

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Butterbeer the dear: Great name. I hope you're enjoying the story! Thanks for the reviews! The whole format in bold thing? I don't know, it was just something I was doing. I have stopped now though. And yes they got together!

wiseupjanetweiss: lol, thanks for the review!

**Chapter 14: The dark side**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the HP series!**

The next day came too fast for Hermione's liking. She knew that this day entailed vigorous training, run down after run down with Snape, _and _Dumbledore wanted to see her for an hour to see if she could do any wandless magic.

So when her alarm sounded at 5.30am, she tried desperately to go back to sleep, just to put this day off for another ten minutes. It seemed though, that her mentors and trainers had anticipated this. Another thirty seconds hadn't rolled by before Moody, Sirius, Remus, Snape and Dumbledore all came to her door, dragged her out of bed, forced food down her throat and pushed her into the training room, all before 6am.

By the time everybody else clambered out of bed it was pushing 12pm. Already she had gone through various martial arts for two hours including kickboxing, judo and balance control. For a further two hours she was stuck in the study with Snape, him snaking his way through her mind over and over again. She had finally managed to block him after a few seconds causing him to be out cold for a few minutes. After this she was more than ready to go back to bed but Sirius caught back up with her and before she was allowed lunch, she had to go through more awareness training. They taught her to balance properly, to be aware of the people's positions around her, to sense oncoming curses and to move around unnoticed.

Finally Mrs. Weasley rescued her from the torturous grasps of her now hated trainers, letting her have some lunch. It hurt her to walk to the kitchen and when she found a seat next to Harry, she collapsed into it and never wanted to move again. She complained to Harry, Ron and Ginny that she could no longer feel her body and parts of her ached that she never knew existed. Her muscles were inflamed and tight and all she felt like doing was crawling back under her covers and not emerging until the four of them were dead and buried so they couldn't make her do anymore. They laughed at her saying she must be exaggerating. Hermione was not impressed by their reaction. She threw them a filthy look and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving them shocked at her sudden mood swing. Mrs. Weasley tried to explain to them that Hermione was going through a hell of a lot, she had a lot of pressure on her with the mission, her new power made her experience things she didn't know how to control and she was a 16 year old girl!

After her encounter with Harry, Ron and Ginny, Snape had pulled her into the study for more Occulmancy. She whined all the way there. But soon enough, Snape was telling her that she had almost mastered it and with a little more work she would be able to do it no problem.

An hour had past and Dumbledore rescued her. However rescued really wasn't the word. Yes she had escaped Snape but, trying to get a grip on wandless magic with one of the most powerful wizards in the world as your guide, was, to say the least, difficult. She wasn't doing that bad, she had managed to summon and banish items but at close range. Dumbledore soon realised that her new power was tied to her emotions and at her current state of exhaustion, they were not getting very far.

Dumbledore, seeing how drained she was finally allowed her to have a few hours sleep before. She thanked him profusely, and, as fast as her legs could take her, ran to her bedroom and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Now, Hermione was sitting on the end of her bed, wringing her hands in her hands in her lap. Below, the Order was having a meeting about tonight's revel. She was sent upstairs to change and was now waiting to be summoned.

She wore a mid-thigh black skirt and a red low v-cut top with a pair of black, mid-calf length boots.

She thought it was fine.

Finally there was a knock at her bedroom door and Mrs. Weasley entered. She looked as nervous and Hermione felt.

'They are ready for you dear.'

'Thanks Mrs. Weasley.'

'Hermione? You look lovely dear.'

She smiled sheepishly at her and Mrs. Weasley turned and left, leaving her alone.

Her heart was beating a thousand miles an hour with each step she took.

Come on Hermione! You can do this! Deep breath. Ok, now down the stairs. Right, done that, Now open the kitchen door.

As she pushed the door open she felt like she was going to heave. She looked around at the faces staring at her, they all looked sick with worry, but as she caught their eye, they would smile encouragingly. She knew Harry and Ron were in there somewhere, but didn't dare look for them. If she did, she would see the worry and fear in their eyes.

Braking her out of her thoughts was Snape's booming voice.

'Miss Granger!'

She jumped and looked to the left where Snape's voice had come from.

'Yes Professor?'

'I thought that we discussed yesterday what you are to wear?'

She looked down at her clothes, now that she thought about it, her outfit did look slightly on the preppy side. She looked up at him and he sighed, he casually flicked his wand and now stood a very different Hermione. Her boots were now knee length, tight leather and two inches higher. The heel was silver and had a snake coiled around it. Going upwards, her skirt had shrunk considerably and was _just_ covering her backside. This too was black leather. Her top -if you could call it a top - was see-though lace. Her bra was black with silver embroidery and the 'top' itself had long flowing sleeves and a plunging v-neck line to show cleavage, not that she needed it, and cut off just under her breasts, leaving her stomach on show. She couldn't see what her hair and make-up looked like but she could guess it matched her new outfit.

A loud bang brought her from her trance. Her head snapped up too see what the commotion was.

Fred and George, upon seeing her attire had literally fallen off their chairs in shock. They stared wide-eyed and open mouthed at her, both thinking the same thing.

O.My.God! She looks H-O-T! I swear if she weren't Ron's best mate I'd be over there in a second. It must be illegal to look like that! He he, mum's going to have kittens!

She looked beside them and saw Ron's expression wasn't much different.

No, No, NO! That.Is.Not.Hermione! It can't be! She would never go out dressed like that! I would never let her out dressed like that!

Harry's expression however, was a cross between shock, outrage and lust.

My - No - Herm -THAT is NOT Hermione! I'm going to kill Snape! How can he make her go like that! She is not going ANYWHERE like that! Over my dead body! I'm not letting my girlfriend go out like that!

Sitting next to Harry were Sirius, Remus, Bill, Charlie, Dung and Kingsley all thinking the same thing.

DAMN!

One person who wasn't impressed by her attire was Mrs Weasley. _She_. _Was_. _Fuming_.

'Professor! You can not be serious! I will not allow it!'

'Molly, I can not help what she must wear! If she went dressed like she was, we would not get anywhere! The Dark Lord would not look twice at her!'

'I can't allow her to leave looking like a common whore!'

Molly is going to eat him alive! I know I don't particularly like the slimy bastard but I have to help him out.

'Mrs Weasley, I know you don't like this, and I can't say I'm thrilled at it because it is very uncomfortable to wear, but it's not Professor Snape's fault.'

She then shut-up. She knew she wasn't going to get anywhere.

'But Mi, -'

It was Harry.

'- I'm sorry, but I have to agree with Mrs. Weasley, I don't like it. I don't want my girlfriend-'

Several whispers were heard over the kitchen. _'I knew It.' 'Aww bless.' 'About time.' _He blushed at his slip-up and faced her with an apologetic face. He was sure it was Ron that whispered _'I knew it.'_

'- g_irlfriend_ parading around dressed like that in front of a bunch of perverted Death Eaters!'

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Snape.

'Potter, I know seeing Miss Granger like this isn't what you expected and you don't want any harm to come of her, but I assure you, all the while I am there, I will not allow her to come to any permanent damage.'

Harry rolled his eyes. Was the supposed to comfort him?

'Thanks that makes me feel a whole lot better!'

He gave Hermione one last pleading look to try and get her to reconsider. Hermione did feel sorry for him; she walked over, placed a loving hand on his cheek and looked into his worry-filled green eyes. She could see he feared for her safety.

'I promise you Harry, I'll be fine. There shouldn't be any Death Eaters there; just Snape, Voldie and me ok? Stop worrying and I'll see you when I get back.'

She smiled softly at him and he nodded in agreement. She leant in a gave him a quick kiss for reassurance, but when she was about to pull away, Harry snaked an arm around her waist, pulled her closer and kissed her hard. She could feel the passion and lust coming from him. He finally let go, leaving her flushed and out of breath.

She turned from him and faced the Order, her face red from embarrassment,

'Ready to go?'

Her voice was about 3 octaves higher than usually, causing many around the room to laugh at her. She walked over to her disgusted potions professor who rolled his eyes and spoke to Dumbledore

'We shouldn't be to long.'

'Ok Severus, go before you are much too late and good luck Miss Granger.'

Snape turned around to face her and put one arm around her bare waist, Hermione put an arm on his shoulder, Snape rolled his sleeve up and Hermione was about to press his mark and apparate when a outraged and very _jealous _Harry spoke.

'What the hell?'

Again Snape rolled his eyes and turned to Harry.

'Miss Granger can not apparate yet, do you have any other suggestions as to how we are to get there?'

Harry flushed red; he didn't want his most hated professor touching her like that.

'Is it necessary to be that close?'

'Yes.'

Without another word to anyone, Snape pressed Hermione's hand to his mark and they were gone.

Once they appeared at the other end, they both jumped apart from each other.

'Follow me.'

His voice was low, slightly nervous and it was not the Snape she was used to. This one seemed more shut away, less caring (not that he was all too caring at Hogwarts.) Hermione did what she told; she followed behind him closely and they soon came upon a pair of big mahogany doors; each engraved with two large, lethal-looking snakes on the middle panels. This was definitely a Slytherin's house.

Hermione didn't want to go through, she knew what lay beyond it and she was terrified. She felt sick and her nerves were making her shake. Snape pushed the doors open and went through without even a second glance back at her. Hermione took a deep breath and walked into the snake's den.

Hermione stood at the doors and looked into the room. It was as large as the great hall and definitely as cold as the dungeons. Straight opposite her was _him. _He sat king-like on a black oak wood throne; it was edged in silver and snakes coiled around each leg. On either side of him were Death Eaters forming a large circle, at least 30 on each side.

There weren't supposed to be Death Eaters here. Shit.

Her eyes scanned the room trying to find Snape. She saw him on Voldermort's right, he was whispering in his ear, probably telling him that he wasn't aware of the severity of this meeting. She then caught sight of him. She couldn't see his face; he was hooded in a deep black robe, etched in green and silver. He sat casually on the chair, his right elbow leaning on the arm as he listened to Snape.

She felt his eyes scanning her body.

She didn't dare move, it would show him she was uncomfortable -a sign of weakness. His first movement was with his hand, he brushed Snape away.

'Come.'

His voice was cold, heartless and cruel. She could feel those around her whimper at his tone. Cautiously she walked into the centre of the circle and kneeled before him. Snape had said it would show respect.

The second her feet began to move she felt something, something _good._ Power.

Someone elses, she was still herself but..._better_, more confident and assertive. Her nerves seemed to have disappeared, only to be replaced by sheer excitement. Excitement to be there, doing this. Not even Voldermort's voice could inflict fear upon her. She had totally forgotten about the Order and Harry, she was there for _herself_.

, she was still herself but..., more confident and assertive. Her nerves seemed to have disappeared, only to be replaced by sheer excitement. Excitement to be there, doing this. Not even Voldermort's voice could inflict fear upon her. She had totally forgotten about the Order and Harry, she was there for . 

'So you are the infamous Granger girl I have been hearing so much about?'

She raised her head and looked directly at him. He had lowered his hood and she could see him clearly. His skin was as white as china, you could see the bones in his face, it was more of a skull than a face. His eyes contrasted greatly, red iris shone out against his white setting. Despite coming back from the dead he looked young. Well as young as somebody can look in that circumstance.

'Yes my Lord.'

She knew his eyes were roaming her body again, she could sense he was definitely satisfied with it.

'Why do you want to be a Death Eater, girl?'

'I am a powerful witch my Lord -'

' -Yes, so I've heard.'

'I seek a greater power, I have a thirst for the Dark Arts and I'm never satisfied with the foolishness from Hogwarts. I want to be great. I want to serve greatness and not the pathetic Muggle-loving fool Dumbledore.'

'It has come to my attention however, that you are nothing more than a Mudblood -'

Hisses could be heard from the room, she knew she wasn't welcome, she didn't care.

'-I seek to rid the world of such disgraces, yet here you are, in front of the most powerful wizard, asking to be in my ranks. What makes you think you are worthy?'

'I assure you my Lord that I can prove my worth. I can be a vital asset to the Dark Side, increasing your chances of winning this war. It would only bring me pleasure if we rid the world of Dumbledore and Potter. They are a disgrace to magic. They still believe I am loyal to them,'

'You have established your hatred and position towards them, but you are still a Mudblood.'

Bravery and smugness got the better of her. She looked directly at him and replied

'I may have been born to common Muggles my Lord, but that doesn't alter my power, I am more powerful than most in your ranks now and I can only become greater -Then she added - just like you my Lord.'

She heard him laugh. Usually a laugh would be warm and full of happiness, but this was bitter, malicious and foul.

'You class yourself as an equal to me? I am not a Mudblood.'

'A Mudblood no, but a half blood.'

She still knelt before him with a smirk on her lips. Gasps could be heard from all over from the room. None of them could believe what she just said; she was going to die for sure. She never broke eye contact with him, she was trying to figure out what he thought of that, whether or not he was going to curse her, but he was unreadable.

To him, he thought this girl was good. Quick-witted, smart, beautiful and brave. He could definitely sense something about her.

'That type of comment would get you killed Mudblood, you are either very foolish or incredibly brave to come here and speak to me in such a manor.'

I'd go with the latter. I hope I haven't blown this!

'However, I am willing to give you a chance to redeem yourself.'

Out of the blue, Hermione could feel somebody else's presence. Somebody was trying to penetrate her mind. As quick as it came Hermione filled her head with other images. _Her arguing with Harry. Playing darts with Dumbledore's head as a target. Her writing 'I hate Potter' 'Dumbledore + Muggles pathetic' on a piece of parchment. _Then it was gone.

'I'm satisfied with what you have said and what I have seen so far. Get up.'

Hermione raised from the ground and stood before him.

'That does not mean to say I have made my decision. _You _Miss Granger have proven to be quick witted, brave and smart, beauty is apparent with you. You have expressed your hatred to the Light and I am told you are powerful.'

'I am my Lord.'

'Yes, but your word is not good enough. I want you to duel with my favourite girl. Bella?'

On his left the second figure along broke the circle and came to her master's side.

'My Lord.'

'My sweet Bella. Prepare to duel.'

'Yes master.'

Bellatrix removed her cloak and transfigured her robe into a tight pair of leather trousers and a green vest top. Hermione, taking this as her cue, transfigured her clothes into a pair of very short shorts and a red strapless top. She heard several whispers and one behind her stood out,

'Fuck me.'

'Still want to do this Mudblood?'

'Anything to please you my Lord. I don't see her as much of a challenge.'

She looked at Bellatrix with a smug look on her face. The group of Death Eaters stepped back, not wanting to get in the way of a very good fight.

They both took five paces back and turned to face each other. Hermione on the right, Bellatrix on the left. Where Hermione stood, she could sense fear and worry, she knew it was Snape.

Dumbledore is going to kill me, If she gets hurt the whole bloody Order will want my blood. She can't handle Bella, she is far too powerful

Hermione shook her head and concentrated on what she was about to do.

Come on Hermione, focus, this is your only chance at this, you want this, you need this so focus!

'Ready to go down Mudblood?'

'You wish whore.'

The 'whore' comment must have enraged her because the next thing Hermione knew, Bellatrix was about to send a stunner at her, just seconds before she screamed the words, Hermione threw herself left and dodged the spell. It had been too close and it had caught her arm and now a 3inch gash appeared.

'Bitch - Concursoro!'

A flash of white light emitted from Hermione's wand and sent a curse straight at her. Bellatrix dodged it and it hit a wall, making a whole with a small fire appear.

'OOOOH, Mudblood knows how to play! Didn't know they taught dark spells at Hogwarts!'

'They don't.'

Hermione had actually read about that curse in a book Sirius had given her. It was supposed to make the person feel as if their skin was burning from the inside.

They were both facing each other again and before Hermione could read any emotion, Bellatrix had sent yet another curse at Hermione

'Seletopfy.'

It had caught Hermione shoulder and sent her flying against Death Eaters behind her, she fell to the floor, her back to her, just able to move. She could hear her cackle, thinking she actually won. Hermione was biding her time, hoping she would be low enough to kick her when she was down. And just as she suspected, she heard footsteps coming closer.

She got within a foot of Hermione and she swung her leg around tripping her over. Bellatrix landed with a thud and her wand flew from her hand. She scrambled up searching for her wand but Hermione was quicker, the second Bellatrix was up, Hermione spun around and kicked her face. She heard her nose crack and there was blood coming down her clothes. While she was trying to balance her self from the blow, Hermione kicked her stomach, sending her against a very hard stone wall. She smacked her head leaving her in a state of daze. There was a sickening cracking sound when her head made contact with the wall.

Not being satisfied with this fight, Hermione picked up Bella's wand and threw it at her. She wanted to continue this duel. She turned her back and started to walk away when she noticed something odd. Bella was going to play dirty; she was going to attack from behind.

Hermione spun around just in time to create a shield and send a final stunner at Bellatrix.

She lay on the floor unable to move. Hermione walked over to her and felt smug. She just won. She looked down at the pathetic witch before her and sat on the woman's stomach and pinned her hands above her head. Hermione could see that her eyes were unfocused and she had cracked her head. Blood covered her top and was all over the lower part of her face.

'Aww I'm sorry did I hurt you?'

She gave Bella a little pout

'What did you say about me going down? Looks like you're the one that's one that's on the floor bitch, but you should be used to spending time on your back, fucking whore.'

Hermione climbed off of her and made her way to stand in front of Voldermort. She locked eyes with him again and could see he was impressed. She could feel relief from Snape.

'Avery, Nott, get her out of my site.

Two Death Eaters from behind her bowed, picked up Bella, and exited. Voldermort turned his attention back to Hermione. He shifted slightly, looked her up and down and licked his lips.

'You really are a powerful witch aren't you? And in Muggle combat as well. Well done. You beat one of my best. Congratulations.'

'Thank you my Lord.'

'I can feel the power that radiates from you _Hermione_.'

Her name slid off his tongue with ease. This was as good a time as any to see if she could gain his trust.

'That's why I'm here my Lord. I wish for you to _feel_ what I have to offer and perhaps in return I can become a Death Eater and I can feel your-'

Her eyes scanned his body, lingering slightly on his crotch; she moved her eyes back up to meet his and cocked her head to the side.

'-Power.'

He raised an eyebrow at her suggestions. She was aware of Snape again, he was shocked. This pleased her; it was having the effect she wanted.

'All in good time - my Shadow.'

She didn't question the name. She liked it. It was pretty obvious what it meant. She was to be in the background of the light, collecting information and giving it to the dark - where she belonged.

'Come to me.'

Hermione crossed the room closing the space between herself and Voldermort. His hand was outstretched and she accepted it with hers. He spun her around and stood her next to him and Snape. His arm resting on her naked waist.

'My faithful servants, I ask you, are there any objections to having such a beautiful young creature joining us?'

His arm slid from her waist and rested on her backside. She was surprised but put up no fight. She could see Snape's eyes flicker to where his hands were and he turned away.

'Young master Malfoy, you stink of doubt. Explain yourself.'

From across the room a figure stepped forward, removed his hood, and knelt before Voldermort.

'I mean no disrespect my Lord, but I can not understand why you would want to dirty your pureblood ranks with someone inferior.'

'Mr. Malfoy-'

Voldermort stopped when he felt somebody's hand on his. He turned to see Hermione leaning over; he got a full view of her chest as she leaned into whisper in his ear, her voice low and seductive.

'My Lord, let me persuade young Malfoy,'

She ran a figure up his arm and continued,

'I can guarantee he will never question you again.'

'Very well my shadow.'

With a smirk, she got up and walked over to the boy in the middle. She stood in front of him, one hand on her hip and looked him up and down.

'Mr. Malfoy, you are a powerful young wizard aren't you?

'Yes.'

She started to circle him, like a lion does its prey. She ran her arm across his shoulders.

'Yet you are envious of me.'

'I assure you, I'm not envious of you.'

'But you are _Draco._'

He said nothing; she stood behind him whispering sexily in his ear.

'Do you believe I am good at magic Draco?'

She ran her hand down his back and tugged on the waistband of his trousers underneath. Her slow seductive actions were driving him crazy.

'Yes.'

'Well, If I become a Death Eater-'

She stood in front of him and leaned in to his ear. His hands went down to her waist.

'-I could show you what else I'm good at.'

She bit his ear and leaned back with a questionable eyebrow raised. He smirked at her and grabbed her arse, pulling her forward.

'I take that as a yes?'

She leaned up and kissed his cheek, she turned around and walked back over to Voldermort's side with a smug look on her face. Once at his side he placed a possessive arm around her waist and pulled her in a little rougher than needed. His hand soon found her arse again.

'I take it Mr. Malfoy, you have no further objections?'

'No my Lord.'

'Then back in place.'

He swiftly moved back into the circle and breathed a sigh of relief.

'Snape!'

Hermione felt movement beside her, Snape walked in front of her and knelt before Voldermort.

'My Lord.'

'My Shadow shall become a Death Eater, her power will indeed become useful to me.

You have done well bringing her to me. This will not go unrewarded.'

'Thank you my Lord.'

He went back to his place next to her feeling slightly relieved.

'My Shadow.'

He whispered seductively next to her, she turned to face him. He took her hand his and raised it to her cold harsh lips.

'You have done well tonight, but its time for you to leave, I will be in touch through Snape. You shall be marked soon. I hope to see more of you very soon.'

'I shall be looking forward to it my Lord.'

He nodded towards Snape, giving him permission to leave. 

'Come Miss Granger.'

Hermione obediently followed, casting a sideways glace at Malfoy. He winked at her and she smirked. Once the doors were closed Snape turned to her.

'I'm sorry, I didn't know about tonight.'

Hermione shook her head and formed the position they were in to apparate, and dissapperated back to Grimmuald place.

They landed gracefully in the Kitchen, to find the place almost empty. The only people there were Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus and Harry. Harry - tonight's events came rushing back to her and she felt sick with guilt. However at the same time, being here, with the Order, she felt somewhat empty, like something was missing.

She transfigured her clothes into a pair of black kacki trousers and a baby pink hoody; she sat down next to Harry who immediately took her hand in his.

'So Severus, how did it go?'

'Fine, we turned up and we had a full gathering, but she did well, they didn't seem to scare her. He questioned her and her answers surprised even me. She was calm, confident and very convincing. One thing I wasn't counting on was the duel.'

'She had a duel? With who?'

'Your enchanting cousin Black.'

Hermione didn't hear the rest of the conversation, her mind wondered to her actions at the revel.

I almost kissed Malfoy! I flirted outrageously with the Dark Lord! But it was such a rush of power. He actually accepted me into his ranks. Should I tell Harry what happened with Malfoy?

She was brought out of her daydream by the squeeze of Harry's hand. She looked up at him and saw the warmth and unknowing in his eyes. She decided not to tell him. It was better this way.

'Dumbledore, I actually think she might be able to pull this off.'

'Thank you Severus, now Hermione tonight was unexpected for you, it's quite understandable if you are a little shaken by this ordeal - '

'No, not at all I'm fine.'

'If you are sure Hermione, I can get you dreamless sleep potion if you want.'

'No, no honestly I'm fine, just exhausted, do you mind if I go to bed?'

'Of course not, I'll speak with you tomorrow Hermione.'

'Thank you. Harry are you coming?'

'Sure.'

The two teenagers left the kitchen and made their way up stairs in silence.All of tonight's emotions were catching up with her and she felt ashamed. A traitor, dirty. Silent tears came down her cheeks. Harry glanced at Hermione and noticed the tears down her face. They were at her door, so he turned her around and grabbed her hands. She could feel the worry from him.

'Mi, look at me.'

She shook her head and chocked back some tears. He placed a finger under her chin and pushed her head up so her could see her eyes.

'What's wrong?'

She shook her head again, not daring to say a word to him.

'I'm not going anywhere until you tell me.'

She began to cry harder. He was being so sincere.

'O, Shh baby, it's ok, don't cry.'

He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry onto his chest. He made Shh noises but it wasn't calming her down. He opened the door behind her and motioned her into it.

He pulled her away from his chest and made her look at him.

'Tell me, or I'll go find out from Snape.'

'H-H-Harry I'm s-s-so sorry, I n-n-never meant to, it j-j-just happened - if I d-d-didn't I might n-n-n-not have got his trust - I-I-I feel so dirty, the t-t-things I said were horrible Harry.'

'Hey, hey, hey calm down it's ok. Sit down and tell me.'

She sat down on her bed, back against the headboard and Harry put an arm around her, pulling her into him.

'I feel awful Harry, I said such horrible things about you and Dumbledore - I said that it would bring me pleasure if you were killed. I don't think that, I swear!'

'It's ok, I know you didn't mean it so don't worry about it.'

'But when he touched me it made my skin crawl. I had to act the way I did-'

'I know what you've got to do Hermione and no, I don't like it, but you don't mean it and I know it's helping us, so I'm not letting it get to me.'

'Malfoy was there.'

She felt Harry stiffen at these words.

'What happened?'

'I-he was making it difficult for me, so I had to promise him if he shut-up I'd make it worth his while.'

Harry didn't say anything, What could he say?

'Are you mad at me?'

'Heavens no Hermione! Stop blaming yourself.'

'But Malfoy-'

'Lets just cross that bridge when we come to it, yeah?'

She nodded and he kissed her head softly.

'Come on, get into bed, it's been a long day.'

Hermione climbed under the covers fully dressed, to tired to change. Harry bent down

kissed her goodnight and turned to leave. Hermione's hand shot out from under the covers and grabbed his wrist. He turned around confused.

'I-I-don't want to be on my own. Can you stay with me tonight?'

He smiled at her and turned back around. He took his jumper off, as did she, leaving them in t-shirts. She moved over and let Harry get in beside her, he put an arm around her waist and she rested her head against his chest. Harry started to play with the hair on her neck until her breathing evened out and he knew she was asleep.

Harry's mind was racing.

I don't like it. Not one bit. Why Malfoy? Why him? He's smug enough as it is. Just look at her, she's beautiful, but she's going through so much. This is going to make it so much harder for her.

He sighed and kissed her head. She shifted and snuggled closer to him.

It wasn't long until he fell asleep.

well another chapter down!

what do you think? hate it? love it? needs work? just let me know!

next chapter: more Hermione and Harry action. They see Malfoy, Tonks gives Hermione a present. Fights for the bathroom

Raven

x-


	15. chapter 15: first day of school

****

A.N. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry but i swear its not my fault... blame my beta she's had this for ages! sorry aki! anyway its here now and considering I'm on study leave and my suma is almost here it means frequent updates!

Jennifer-JAM: I'm so glad that you liked it. and I'm very sorry that I've made you wait this long! Fred and George are great aren't they? I'm trying to get them more involved in my plot...

Emma Barrows: Hey Emma! I'm sorry that I've made you wait! Here's the update and there should be another one not that long away.

inusgirl4life: Thanks for your review.

Tween Idol: Hey thanks for your review and it makes my day when I have another satisfied reviewer!

ice-mage2: Thanks for your review!

Blackrosebunny: I know I really should go back and correct them but it takes time and effort... I'm a very lazy person... anyway thanks for you review!

amber'sstash: You are so sweet. I love the compliments even if I don't believe them myself. Thanks for the review!

NicksterPotter: Hey you don't have to wait anymore. I hope you like this chappy!

wiseupjanetweiss: I'm sorry I've kept you waiting. Thanks for your review.

sakura-sweeti: I tried to make this as real as possible, but when you work with fiction thats not real... you know you don't always get the best results... anyway i have LOTS of chapter planned for this story, its not stopping anytime soon! I cant say how many exactly because I don't have them all planned yet... but I do have the next 8-10 planned and there are lots of dark bits, cute bits, sad emotional bits and bits you are probably going to hate me for...

Dooley: I absolutely loved that picture, your a fantastic artist. Don't worry I can safely say she will get the mark... I hope that hasn't ruined it...Harry's reaction well I can't tell you that...and there will be lots more seduction!

Cats7: Thanks so much for your review, and I love it that people think I'm a good writer... I've always wanted to write but never had the guts, this way know body knows I'm doing it. You asked how old I was... I'm 17. How old did you think I was?

I'm apologising profusely! I love you all and hope that you all review this chapter... I hope it was worth the wait.

**I only want to be accepted**

**Chapter 15: 1st day of school**

September 1st, 8:44am and everybody in the Black house was fast asleep. Nobody moved, nobody spoke, the only sound that could be heard was the faint snoring of Roland Weasley.

However, the peaceful slumbers of the residents were to be short lived, the seconds ticked closer and closer to 8:45 and this was to be the trigger of a mass riot.

15 seconds to go, Ron gave a loud snort and rolled over in his bed.

13 seconds to go, Sirius had a small smile playing on his lips as he mumbled 'snivillious'

9 seconds to go, Harry's right arm was outstretched and his hand curled around an imaginary snitch.

6 seconds to go, Ginny took a sharp intake of breath and started mumbling incoherent nonsense 'but the teddy said we could fly!'

3 seconds to go, Hermione slept soundly. No mumbling, no smile, no noise, no movement.

8:45

'Get up! Come on! Out of bed! Get ready!'

Mrs Weasley's voice boomed throughout the house. The five people all sat up with a start and rubbed their eyes.

Ron and Harry gingerly climbed out of their beds, grunting their greetings as they made some movements of life. Ron took his wash bag and made for the door. Just as he crossed the doorway, in the room opposite, a young red head emerged also carrying her wash bag. They sized each other up, trying to figure out the next ones movements. Ginny seizing her opportunity sprinted towards the bathroom door and slammed it shut in her brothers face. Loud bangs could be heard all over the house as Ron smashed the door.

'Come on Gin!'

'I can't hear you!'

'You're going to be forever!'

'La la la can't hear you!'

Harry went to the door with a smile on his face, this happened every morning, and every time it ended the same -Ginny would beat him - Ron would bang the door for 10 minutes then leave - She'd come out - Hermione would then beat him to it.

Harry heard someone chuckle down the hall. It was Hermione and she was still in her pj's. A pair of red pj trousers with gold bears and a red tank top. Harry too was still in his pj's, a pair of blue shorts and a white t-shirt. Both people thought that the other looked so cute in their pj's, with their tousled hair and clumsy movements.

'He will never learn.'

'I know. Why didn't he shower last night when I told him to? Would have saved so much time.'

'Well that's the smart thing to do. We showered last night and now we have to just get dressed.'

Harry flushed. Yes they did shower last night - not together. He was going to have a late night shower to save time in the morning, but on his way to the bathroom he saw Hermione come out of it with nothing but a little white towel on. Her skin was tinged red, he assumed because of the heat of the water, her hair was soaking but was pinned at the top of her head. You could see the tops of her breast and her long shapely legs. When Hermione noticed that he was staring she had rolled her eyes and told him it was all his (A.N. the shower, not _her)_ As she went passed him, she swayed her hips a little more than needed but she didn't care.

Hermione watched as Harry blushed. She giggled, made her way over to him and gave him a good morning kiss. He smiled at her and watched as she went back into her room.

After about 1/2 hour, Mrs Weasley's screech could be heard again.

'Move it! Breakfast now!'

Harry and Hermione raced down the stairs fully dressed. Hermione could feel how frustrated and panicky she was and wasn't going to make it worse. Ron followed in a few seconds later still in his pj's looking a feeling thoroughly annoyed.

'Ronald! Why are you not dressed?'

'Ginny's hogging the bathroom!'

Just as she mentioned her name, she came waltzing in fully dressed and very cheerful.

'What are you talking about? It's been free for 10mintues.'

Ron growled at her and ran from the room. The three of them wolfed down their breakfast of eggs, bacon and toast.

'Bring your trunks down here and the animals.'

Animals. Shit. Hermione's eyes widened, she forgot about Crookshanks. She speed out the room just as Ron did to find her cat.

20minutes later Hermione still hadn't found the bandy-legged creature and was beginning to panic. She had scratches up her arms from where she found her under her bed and tried to coax her out but the cat flipped out and attacked her. She ran back down the stairs and was going to try the kitchen again. Just as she rounded the corner she felt a pair of strong arms grab her, one around her waist and the other over her mouth, working to pull her into a closet.

In the closet the person spun her around causing Hermione to gasp, but before she could scream the person silenced her with their lips. The second she felt this persons lips on hers, she knew who it was. Harry. His lips were silky and tender and he always smelt faintly of apples.

She knew it was him by the way his cold hands rubbed circles on her waist. She knew it was him by the softness of his hair when she ran her fingers through the back. She knew it was him by the way his kisses could take her breath away in an instant and leave her feeling dizzy.

After she realised she needed to breathe she pulled away and looked at him. She could she faint traces of lip gloss on his lips. She could see in his eyes the need for her and she could feel how much he wanted her.

'Explain yourself Potter!'

Harry groaned and started to kiss her neck. She sighed at the feeling it sent through her and pulled back reluctantly.

'Tell me why you thought it necessary to pull me into a dirty closet and kiss me.'

'I'm sorry Mi, but I can't resist when you look like that.'

Hermione looked down at herself. She wore a pair of pink dolly shoes, a light denim pleated skirt and a pink 'I love Minnie Mouse' t-shirt. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail.

'Try again Harry, there is nothing special with what I'm wearing.'

He groaned again.

'Ever since I saw you last night in that towel I can't stop thinking about you. And for the record, you look dead sexy like that.'

Harry was about to kiss her again when there was a sharp knock at the front door, their escort had arrived. The two of them snuck out of the closet and stood behind Mrs Weasley who was opening the door. The only person that did notice them was Sirius who came out of the kitchen just in time to see them sneak out. He gave his godson a quick wink and handed a very embarrassed Hermione her cat.

'Ginny! Ron! Down here, now!

10minutes later 8 people were finally ready to leave the Black residence with two owls, a cat and four very large trunks. Tonks who was one of their escorts explained that she 'borrowed' two ministry cars for them.

'Right! Harry, Hermione, Remus and me in the first car. Gin, Ron, Mad eye and Kingsley in the second.'

It took a few minutes to pile in the cars and finally they were seated. Tonks was in the front of the car, with Harry, Hermione and Remus in the back.

The car wasn't exactly large and the mood Harry was in didn't make matters any better. He was extremely irritated that he and Hermione were interrupted, they hadn't had much time to be alone since they started going out. You would think that Grimmuald place was big enough for them to sneak off for a quick kiss every now and then, but under the watchful eyes of Mrs Weasley and Hermione's training, they hardly got any time together. Now, with Hermione's bare leg brushing up against his every now and then and the fact he couldn't do anything about it pissed him off severely. It wasn't fair, he was a hormonal 16 year old boy, with his beautiful girlfriend pressed up against him and he was powerless to do a thing!

Fuck it, it's only Tonks and Remus, they won't care.

He put his arm around her and she nuzzled closer to him. He started to stoke the stray hair and the back of her neck, knowing she loved this and that it was a weak point for her. He felt her put a hand on his thigh and she looked up at him with a mischievous glint in her eye. That's it, he couldn't resist any longer. He shifted them slightly and kissed her hard. She responded eagerly by opening her mouth almost instantly, their tongues clashed impatiently. Her hand was slowly moving upwards, gently stroking his thigh. His other hand moved to her revealed leg and drew lazy circles on it causing Hermione to whimper.

'O will you stop!'

They pulled apart to see a very appalled and disgusted Remus sitting next to them. At the front of the car, Tonks burst out laughing at Remus's reaction.

'O come on Remmie! They're young! Leave them be!'

'No, I'm not sitting here while they moan, groan and fondle!'

'It's not like we haven't done that!'

Harry and Hermione exploded with laughter as the blush crept up Remus's neck. They were a couple?

'Since when?'

Hermione was still laughing slightly, while Harry just sat their in shock awaiting his answer.

'Beginning of the summer.'

Remus's voice was barley a mumble. Hermione could feel how jealous he was feeling.

'Jealous much Lupin?'

'Aww Remmie, would it be better if I came and sat with you?'

He didn't have time to reply as Tonks clambered over the seats and practically sat in his lap. She captured his lips in a fiery kiss and soon they were at it. Remus had one hand up the back of her shirt and the other tangled in her waist length black hair.

Harry's mouth was open and he was still staring wide eyed at the pair. Hermione giggled at his expression, reached up and cupped his face. She brought his attention back to her, he smiled naughtily at her.

'Now where were we?'

The two cars arrived at Kings cross station a while later, however this went unnoticed by one particular car. The occupants of the other car got out and waited for the others to exit. After a few minutes it was apparent that the passengers of the first car had no intention of getting out yet. Ron, Ginny, Kingsley and Mad eye, made their way over to the car. The Weasley's approached the right side while Mad eye and Kingsley approached the left. Simultaneously the four of them opened the back doors.

On the right where Ron and Ginny were, Harry and Hermione tumbled out with Hermione landing on top of Harry. Ron and Ginny looked at them with raised eyebrows. They quickly scrambled up, trying to straighten themselves out.

On the left, Remus and Tonks were in the same type of predicament. They too jumped up trying to gain back some dignity.

'Erm shall we er get going?'

Remus grabbed a flushed Tonks' hand and sped away. Harry and Hermione followed fast to get out of such an uncomfortable situation.

At fifteen minutes to 11 the 8 of them stood on platform 9 3/4 saying their goodbyes. Ron and Ginny went off to find a compartment. The two couples stood facing each other awkwardly.

Kingsley and Moody, sensing the tension said they would wait outside for them.

'Erm, Hermione could I have a word?'

Hermione nodded and was lead away by Tonks.

'Hermione, I'm going to give you something. Now, I know you're smart so you won't be stupid about the _relations _you have with Harry. Just, when you do,_ you know,_ be careful. I don't want one of my favourite girl getting preggers on me now do I?'

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. She didn't realise she was going to have _this _chat with her.

'Tonks! Me and Harry - we haven't!'

'I know! But that's why I wanted to give you this.'

Tonks reached into her robes and pulled out a vile with pink liquid. Hermione eyed it warily.

'Its a passion enhancer potion!'

Hermione gasped, blushed and was horrified all at the same time.

Passion enhancer! O.MY.GOD I'm so embarrassed. This is not happening.

'I, erm, well, we haven't even, erm -'

'Hermione shh! If you and Harry both drink two drops of it 5minutes before you do, you'll be going at it like rabbits!'

No, no, no, stop this conversation before I die!

'Tonks!'

She smiled wickedly at her. It was funny seeing the look on Hermione's face. She put it in her robe and Tonks guided her back to the boys.

When Tonks lead Hermione away, Remus knew what she was giving her. He turned to Harry and a smile played on his lips.

'Look Harry, I didn't realise the extent of yours and Hermione's relationship until I saw you in the car, but I just want to say something to you.'

Not the birds and the bees! Please I'm 16!

'Remus, I really don't need the birds and the bees talk!'

'Merlin no Harry! I still remember what's it's like to be 16 and in love-'

In love! I wouldn't go that far! Yes, she's my best friend. Yes, she's amazingly smart, beautiful, exciting, and intoxicating. Yes, I hate not being around her. Yes, she's all I think about. Yes, she makes me excited and nervous at the same time but in love? I don't know about that.

'- We're not in love.'

'Not yet. But I'm just saying when you finally get around to having sex-'

'Remus! This is so embarrassing.'

My old professor didn't just say sex! He's not talking to me about sex!

'Harry it needs to be said! Look when you do, just be careful, you don't need a baby around, you're still children yourself.'

Ok, please ground just swallow me up now!

'Ok Remus can we just stop this conversation?'

'Ok Harry just one last thing. Don't hurt her. She's been through so much already.'

'Remus, I know! I have no intention of hurting her. She means the world to me!'

Just as Remus was going to say something else Tonks and a very red Hermione appeared.

'Ok, have a good year you two! And Hermione, don't brake it ok?'

'Yes, bye Tonks!'

Hermione turned to leave, but something caught her eye. Someone with white blonde hair. Malfoy.

Shit, I forgot all about him.

But just as quick as she had seen his hair, it was gone again. Shaking her head she took Harry's hand and followed him to the train.

Hermione was about to climb onto it when she felt someone grab her arse. She spun around to see Malfoy stride passed her. He looked at her with a thirst in his eyes and licked his lips.

Hermione knew she couldn't ignore him so she winked playfully and went into the compartment. Little did she know that, that little incident didn't go unnoticed.

Tonks and Remus stood their looking at the door that just slammed shut, not believing what they just saw.

'Did that just? Did you see?'

'Did Malfoy touch Hermione's arse, lick his lips and Hermione wink at him?'

'That's what I thought. But Harry...'

'Not our business! Come on Tonks.'

'Merlin, you should have seen her Ginny, fur all over her face and a tail!'

Ginny, Harry and Ron were rolling around on the floor laughing. Hermione, however, wasn't. She hated that memory and wanted to curse Ron for bringing it up.

'Must be the first time Hermione's ever made a mistake!'

'The potion was perfect, I just had the wrong hair.'

She sat back pouting with her hands across her chest. She hated being reminded of her mistakes.

'You still botched it up Herms!'

'Shut up Ron, and don't call me Herms!'

'Yeah, I'm the only one who can call her that!'

Wanna _bet?_

'Think again Potter. Nobody calls me Herms and the next one that does will be missing some vital body parts.'

The four of them sat there laughing, teasing and joking with each other, perfectly happy with the train journey.

Hermione smiled to herself, these were her best friends. She loved them so much. She had hated lying to them all these years. But it was necessary, they would never have understood.

What's that? Arrogance. Not Harry, not Ron, not Ginny. It's closer. Malfoy! Shit. Erm stage something.

Hermione had to think on her feet. Malfoy was coming, if he saw her so _cosy_ with Harry and Ron, he'd tell Voldermort and her cover would be blown. She said she hated them.

She jumped up and faced Ron who was sitting next to her.

'I'm so sorry Ron.'

SLAP.

She struck him across his face. When her hand connected with his cheek it made a sickening TWAP sound. There was silence in the whole compartment. Hermione could see Ron's eyes glistening, he looked up at her confused. He opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione cut him off. Malfoy was right outside.

'HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME LIKE THAT RON!'

Harry, Ron and Ginny sat there stunned into disbelief, what the hell was she doing?

'W-w-what are you talking about Hermione?'

'YOU! EVERY TIME I SIT NEXT TO YOU YOUR HANDS BEGIN TO WONDER! I DON'T LIKE IT. SO KEEP YOUR FILTHY, FUMBLING, GROPING HANDS TO YOURSELF.'

Outside the compartment, Malfoy was leaning against the side listening to every word.

The golden trio breaking up? And Weasley's feeling her up! God that filth thinks he's actually got a chance with her.

Malfoy leaned in closer, this was great. He could use this against Potter.

'Mi, what are you talking about? Ron didn't do anything!'

'You are always defending him Harry! I'm sick of it!'

Malfoy took this as a chance to rub slat into the already infected wound. He waltzed in and interrupted the slagging match.

'Well well well, is the untouchable golden Griffindor trio breaking up?'

'Get the hell out Malfoy.'

'No actually Weasleyette, I don't think I will.'

His eyes roamed the compartment. Harry and Ginny were sitting on his right, both shared the look on confusion and annoyance. To his left was Ron, he had a nice red hand print forming on his cheek and his ears were burning red. Standing up in front of Ron was Hermione. He let his eyes roam over her body.

'Not bad Mudblood.'

Hermione knew she was going to regret this later and was going to have to do a lot of grovelling to her friends but she _had_ to play along. She let a smirk form on her lips as she made her way over to him. She circled him and came to stand in front of him.

'Not so bad yourself ferret.'

Harry chocked on the drink he was currently swallowing, Ron's eyes were blazing and Ginny just sat there never taking her eyes off of them. Malfoy draped his arm over Hermione's shoulder and whispered in her ear. He made sure that the others, however, could hear him.

'Why don't we go back to my compartment? Nobody will touch you there, unless of course you want me to.'

Malfoy kissed the base of her ear, and Hermione placed a hand on his chest.

'Sure, I was getting bothered by the company in this compartment anyhow.'

He turned her around and steered her out, before she left she turned to her 3 shocked friends and mouthed

'I'm so sorry.'

The three Gryffindor's sat their bewildered. Finally Ginny found her voice,

'Did that just happen?'

He leaded her away from her safe haven and took her down the train to his compartment. Once they reached it Malfoy turned to his to goons.

'Wait out here, don't let anybody in got it?'

'Yes Draco.'

Hermione followed him in and closed the door behind her. She knew what he wanted and she knew she couldn't say no. If she did then it would all be over. All she could think about was Harry and how hurt he was going to be because of it. Malfoy and him are worst enemies, and to know that his girlfriend is alone, in a compartment, with him. She hated herself.

The second she closed the door she was backed up against it with Malfoy's arms either side of her head.

'Finally alone Mudblood.'

'Yes we are.'

Malfoy didn't hesitate a second longer, he pushed forward and his lips collided with hers. Hermione felt the bile rise in her throat. This kiss didn't leave her breathless like Harry's did. This kiss didn't make her shiver in anticipation. He was nothing like Harry. His hands went to her waist and pulled her forward, hips contacting with hips. She gasps and the abruptness of his actions, the second her mouth was open he slid his snake like lounge in and it collided with hers. Hermione felt his rough hands pushing her top up, his hands were cold, it reminded her a lot of John.

Her head was now spinning, thoughts of John and Dan plagued her mind. Malfoy was no better than them, he didn't care about how it felt for her, all they were interested in was sex and what they could get. He was now kissing down her neck, sharp little bites causing her to flinch. This was sickening, why on earth was she doing this? It didn't feel right, it was awful and she felt awful. Just as Malfoy was going to push the top up further the train came to a sudden halt.

The two of them fell apart slightly breathless from their encounter. Hermione pushed down her top and redid her hair, Malfoy too composed his self.

'We better get going.'

Malfoy smirked at her and again slung his arm over her shoulder. She latched her hand with his and smiled, pretending he was Harry. The two of them walked off the train and made their way over to the carriages. But 5 feet away from the train they bumped into some other students.

'Watch it - O look who it is, Potter and the Weasels.'

Hermione's head shot around and the mention of her friends names. Her eyes locked with Harry's and they were filled with hurt and anger. But one thing Hermione could feel from him was disgust.

At this very moment in time Hermione never felt worse in her life, just looking into his vibrant green eyes which were filled with agony made her heart clench.

She looked away, she couldn't face him in front of Malfoy.

'You know your Mudblood isn't that bad.'

Ron scowled at him, his ears were turning red and his fists were clenched. Harry just stared at her, he never took his eyes off her since they bumped into each other.

'Come on Malfoy lets go.'

Harry watched as Malfoy led her away, he whispered something in her ear and let his hand slid down to her backside. He was fuming, Hermione was giggling and Malfoy was feeling her up.

Harry's fists clenched at the site. Ron grabbed onto Harry's arm and dragged him into a carriage away from the site before them.

He knew that something like this was going to happen sooner or later, he knew that is was coming, but nothing could have prepared him for the onslaught of emotions that he felt, when he saw Hermione in the arms of another man, a man who he hated with a passion. The hurt when Hermione screamed at them in the compartment. The pain he felt when he realised what must have gone on when they were alone. The anger that built up inside him when Malfoy groped her.

Nothing could have prepared him for the constant ache now in his heart.

In the compartment, Ron watched the emotions play across Harry's face.

'Harry? Harry mate?'

'What?'

He didn't mean to snap, but at the moment all he wanted to do was rip Malfoy's head off.

'I'm sorry.'

Ron leaned back, ears tinged red. He hated seeing his best mate like this.

'Ron, mate I didn't mean to snap. I-I- just, I just want to rip Malfoy to pieces!'

'Hey man, I know, I hate to imagine what you're going though.'

'Yeah, I swear, I mean does she have to do it to that extent? I knew it was coming, she told me about what she had to do, but I hate this. Why does she have to do _this_ for the bloody Order?'

'I don't know man. Come on were here.'

The two of them jumped down from the carriage and made their way up to the entrance hall, hoping that was the last of the display they had to witness. How wrong they were.

At the doors, stood Malfoy and Hermione. He had one arm around her waist and was again whispering in her ear. Hermione was giggling _again _and was lightly touching his chest.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Harry and Ron approach.

This was the worst thing in the world. It was tormenting her and she couldn't begin to imagine what it was doing to Harry.

God I feel so guilty. This isn't right, it should be Harry kissing my neck and whispering in my ear. It should be Harry's arms on me, not Malfoy's. This isn't right.

The entrance hall doors swung open and crowds of people started to file through. Harry and Ron brushed past her.

'Hey Malfoy, we better get going, I'll catch up with you another time.'

'Make sure you do.'

Hermione left and made her way into the great hall. She had to make amends with her best friends. She had to make them understand. She had to apologise.

She made her way over to Griffindor table and sat down next to Harry, opposite Ginny and Ron.

The three of them didn't acknowledge her as she sat, they just turned the attention to the head table, waiting for the feast to begin.

Hermione take a deep breath and apologise.

Hermione looked over at Harry, he was trying so hard not to look at her, but even with him not looking at her she could still fell the amount of disgust and hurt from him.

Hermione placed a hand on his arm,

'Harry?'

'Don't touch me whore.'

She withdrew her hand and placed it back in her lap. Tears were threatening to spill over her lashes.

Whore? Am I a whore? God, I really hurt him.

The rest of the feast was eaten in silence. Hermione knew not to try and talk to them, it would only make matters worse.

At the end, Harry, Ron and Ginny, got up and left the hall with out her. She felt like shit. She deserved everything that they threw at her. She was a whore and didn't deserve such a wonderful boyfriend like Harry, and didn't deserve best friends like Ginny and Ron.

You know what? They are going to listen to me. I'm going to make them see it my way if they like it or not.

With that Hermione stood up and raced out the hall after them.

She reached the portrait a few minutes later and went through. She saw the three of them sitting by the fire chatting. Once they saw her they got up and tried to make their way over to the dorms.

She hurried over to them and blocked the way to the dorms.

'Get out the way.'

'Not until you listen.'

'We don't want to listen to you Hermione. Nothing you say could justify the way you acted towards Harry and Ron.'

'If you don't listen to me, I swear, I will hex you so bad you won't be able to walk for a month.'

The three of them eyes her wearily, if she said she would do something like that, then the chances were that she would _actually_ do it.

They glanced at each other and made their way over to the fire, where they were minutes before.

Hermione let out the breath she didn't realise she was holding.

Once there, Hermione cast a silencing charm around them and stood in front of the fire.

'Out with it then.'

'Look I just want to apologise first for what happened in the compartment. I never meant to slap you Ron, and I'm so sorry for screaming and shouting.'

'Why'd you do it?'

'Gin, I'm sorry. I had to. That night at the meeting, Malfoy was kicking up a fuss about me being there so I had to promise him that if he shut up I'd make it worth his while. I really didn't think I would have to do that so soon, and I never imagined I would have to do it in full show of everyone.'

She looked around with pleading eyes at them.

Please, come on. I've said I'm sorry. Please.

'Look, I know you think I'm a bitch, but if I didn't do that, he would have gone straight to Voldermort and made up some cock and bull story, ratting me out and my cover would have been blown. Please, I'm so sorry about what I did, I never meant to hurt any of you.'

Ginny stood up and faced her friend. She was a little taller than Hermione and very intimidating.

Hermione thought she was going to slap her, but when Ginny leaned forward and hugged her she was more than relieved.

'I know you wouldn't do that on purpose.'

'Thanks Gin.'

They pulled apart and smiled. Next to them Ron got up and hugged her as well.

'I'm sorry for slapping you Ron.'

'It's ok Hermione.'

Once they pulled apart the three of them looked down at Harry who was still sitting on the sofa. He hadn't moved one inch since Hermione put the silencing charm around them. He listened to everything she said but it didn't make him feel any better. He was still hurt. He could still see the images of her and Malfoy.

Ron and Ginny sensing the tension between the two, knowing that they had to talk, left the two of them and went to their separate dorms.

Hermione turned to Harry.

'Harry?'

He didn't look up. She sighed and looked down at her hands.

'Harry, sweetheart, please.'

She sat down beside him and took his hands in hers.

'Please look at me.'

He reluctantly turned to face her. He saw the tears stinging in her eyes.

'Say something. Please anything.'

'What do you want me to say? That I forgive you for making me look like a complete idiot? That I forgive you for cheating on me with Malfoy no less? That I forgive you for-'

Tears pilled over her eyes and down her cheeks.

'O please Harry. I know. Im so sorry. I never meant it to happen this way.'

'Then tell me, how did you mean it to happen?'

'I don't know.'

Hermione couldn't look him in the eyes anymore. Shame filled her. She hurt him. She hurt him bad.

Harry watched as each tear left her eye, fell onto her cheeks and down to her hands. He knew she was hurting as much as he was.

Could he really let something this good slip away that easy? Did he want to spend the rest of his life wondering whether or not things could have worked out in their relationship? He knew what she was doing was for the order and that it wasn't real. That their was no true feelings behind anything she did.

Taking a deep breath he lifted her chin with his forefinger and made her look him dead in the eye.

'Is it over with Malfoy?'

She nodded.

'Mi, I'm sorry I made you cry. I just don't want you acting like a whore in front of me. I know that you are doing this for your mission and it's for the Order. I know that you don't mean it and I also know you have no other choice. But I don't like it being shoved in my face.'

'I know Harry and I'm sorry.'

'You know I care for you too much to let you go that easy,'

She smiled weakly at him, tears were still overflowing down her cheeks. He returned the smile and wiped the tears away with his thumb. He pulled her into his lap and kissed her forehead.

'What am I going to do with you, humm?'

'Dump me and go out with Ginny?'

'Never! You're the only one for me!'

'Good to hear it.'

The two of them laughed. This is what they liked. Being comfortable in each others arms.

A.N so what do you all think? Let me know!

Raven

x-


	16. Chapter 16: Letters, Detention and

A.N Well I'm sorry for the delay people!

! must read! To comply with the fanfic ratings I have edited this chapter. I had intended to put explicit descriptions in a letter, but I don't want my account taken away from me. When the part comes up, just use your imagination. **Sorry!**

To comply with the fanfic ratings I have edited this chapter. I had intended to put explicit descriptions in a letter, but I don't want my account taken away from me. When the part comes up, just use your imagination. 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise, just the plot, and any characters I have introduced.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed.

**Midnight Walker, Dooley, wiseupjanetweiss, Emma Barrows, Riley Black, Isis's Rose, Jennifer-JAM, NicksterPotter, roses4u, hotskittles, FrozenFate, arwenundomiel021, Cats7, Rosco36908**,

**And to answer sakura-sweeti questions:**You know how Dan raped her...well...wouldn't she get pregnant? **It's a possibility, but not in my story.**  
Whats going to happen to Charlie? **Charli will make another appearence but just not yet! I'm not saying anymore on the subject!**  
When is Hermione going to get the mark? **I can't say! It will give too much away! **

**I only want to be accepted.**

**Chapter 16: Letters, Detention and Thorn tower.**

'Hermione! Hermione wake up! You've got a letter!'

Hermione woke up to her blaring room-mates voice in her ear. Trying to open her eyes she noticed that Lavender was standing over her, half her uniform on, make up to the nines. It was far too early to see Lavender like that.

'What?'

'You've got a letter, a gorgeous eagle owl brought it. Really fancy and expensive. Who do you know who has one of those?'

I don't. Who is sending me letters with such an expensive owl - Voldermort. Shit.'

' - got a really impressive crest on it too, can't make out the signature.'

Hermione snatch the letter from Lavenders enquiring hands. That letter in the wrong hands could be disastrous.

'Just a pen friend.'

Lavender shrugged her shoulders and went back to the bathroom. Hermione let out the breath she didn't realise she was holding. Making sure the other girls were back in the bathroom, she drew the curtains back around her bed and opened the letter.

The back was sealed in a green wax, a snake coiled around the letters LV.

Taking a deep breath the broke the seal and pulled out the parchment inside the envelope.

****

My shadow,

I hope this letter finds you well, I'm sure that if you did run into any trouble you could be more than capable to handle it yourself.

There is a charm around this letter, so that only you could have opened it and read it. This letter in the wrong hands could mean trouble for the both of us.

I would like to congratulate you on your remarkable performance at my gathering. Not many could take on Bella and live to tell the tale.

The power radiates from you my shadow, and it won't be long until we can tap into your - full potential.

this is where I had to take a large chunk of it out. You can guess the sort of things that he would have said to her.

Until then my shadow, until I can make you fully mine, I will await your response.

LV

Hermione folded back the letter, feeling a hurricane of emotions. What was she going to do? She'd have to tell Snape and Dumbledore. But did she really want them to read such a private letter? Would they be disgusted in the things written?

What about Harry? How would he react? Should I tell him? Should I show him? What would he say? What would he do? Could he still see her in the same way?

'Hermione if you don't move yourself you'll be late for breakfast!'

'Alright I'm coming.'

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An hour later Hermione found herself sitting between Harry and Ron, on the back row of her stuffy potions class room.

'I can't believe we have double potions with the Slytherins first thing! I mean do they hate us?'

'Ron, can you shut up for five minutes? Yes we have potions, but your complaining isn't going to do anything about it is it?'

Harry and Ron stared at Hermione, it wasn't often that she snapped like that, and her mood seemed out of the blue.

Ron's ears went pink, Hermione leaned forward and put her head in her hands, the letter was playing on her mind more and more, it was burning in her pocket.

'Mi? What's wrong?'

Hermione looked up from her hands into those vivacious green eyes. Everything seemed to wash away.

'I'm fine, just PMS-ing.'

Harry looked embarrassed and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Hermione giggled and kissed his cheek. (A.N That is the best excuse for moods ever!)

Bang, Snape came billowing in, robes flying behind him, his usual scowl firmly in place.

'Another year of your incompetence, just what I need. This may be one of your most important years yet. The preparations for your NEWTS. Do I need to tell you what they are Longbottom?'

Neville flushed in his seat.

'N-n-noo Sir.'

'Good. Lets get started. Turn your books to page 587.'

Snape cast his gaze over the glass room, his eyes fell on the bushy haired Gryffindor. _It's a good chance to take points from them, she hasn't had time to prepare for this lesson._

'Tell me Miss-I-Know-The-Answer-To-Everything. What do I get if I add boomslang to Versiterium?'

A potion to read peoples mind.

'No idea.'

The Slytherin's in the class laughed. The Gryffindors all turned to her confused. Harry and Ron nudged her.

'What?'

But Hermione kept het gaze straight ahead in the potion masters eyes. _Go on give me detention._

'Would you like to repeat that?'

Hermione rolled her eyes.

'I said I don't know. I have no idea.'

'Well the Gryffindor princess finally doesn't know everything. Shock horror. I suggest miss Granger that you read chapter 13 and give me a 5 foot essay on the properties of Boomslang, Versiterium and what potion it makes by next lesson. 10 points from Gryffindor for your lack of knowledge.'

Beside her she could feel Harry and Ron getting angry. If they lost their temper then her plan would be ruined.

'Greasy git.' she mumbled, but it was loud enough for the whole class including Snape to hear. Their was a collective gasp from the entire room, including the Slytherins.

Why was Hermione acting like this, What was the change in attitude for?

Nobody ever talked back. Nobody ever dared.

Snape whirled around eyes blazing.

'DETENTION MISS GRANGER. CLASS GET OUT, I WANT TO SPEAK TO MISS GRANGER ALONE...NOW!'

Everybody scrapped their chairs and grabbed their bangs, Harry and Ron gave Hermione a sympathetic and confused look before racing out the classroom.

Hermione in all that time hadn't even battered an eye lid. Her and Snape had remained eye contact through the time he had shouted at the class. When the last student exited and bang the door Snape finally said something.

'Explain yourself.'

'I'm sorry sir -'

'You're sorry?'

Ignoring him, she carried on.

' - I had to get your attention, I needed to speak with you alone, I got a very explicit letter this morning from _him _and I'm not sure what to do. Lavender was asking all sorts of questions as well.'

She pulled out the letter from her robes and handed it to him.

'There is nothing on this.'

'O right, he's charmed it so only I can read it.'

'Fine, we'll floo Dumbledore and you'll have to read it to us. This does not mean you are out of your detention.'

Hermione scowled and mumbled more profanities under her breath, luckily this time Snape didn't hear her.

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Ten minutes later Hermione was sitting in front of the headmaster, McGonagal and Snape either side of her. She had just finished reading the letter and her face, deeply flushed from embarrassment.

Dumbledore was leaning back in his chair, figure tips together in front of him. Snape refused to look Hermione in the eye, whist McGonagal sat their thoroughly disgusted.

Things were going a hundred miles and hour in Dumbledore's mind.

I have put my best pupil in a horrid and impossible situation. This has to of been one of your most stupid ideas old man. One can only imagine the emotional, mental and physical scars a mission like this would bring upon someone so young. Severus is a grown man and some of the things he must do is horrendous.

After what seemed like a lifetime of a tension filled silence, Dumbledore finally said something.

'Hermione I cannot help but think of the words Molly Weasley said in the first meeting when we discussed your role_.' _

How can you stand there and congratulate her on signing her life away at such a young age? She's not even of age and you are telling her she can do this? It's ridiculous. She can't do this, especially the way you want her to. She's 16! A child! Absolutely not. You cannot possible let her do this! She's a baby!

'Professor, Molly just looks out for me like I was one of her own. Of course a Mother would object to it. But I'm not a child Sir, If I didn't think I was capable of doing this I wouldn't have said I would do it.'

'But Hermione -'

McGonagal finally spoke

' - Perhaps this Mission is to much of a burden to put on you.'

'Professor, I'd give my life for Harry and the Order.'

Again the room dropped into a deathly silence. The cogs turned in all three adults heads.

'Ok Hermione, We'll let you carry on, but I think it's best we start some lesson with Professor McGonagal on clearing your mind as soon as possible. And If I can manage it, I'll clear out Thorn Tower for you. Its next to Gryffindor tower, you'll have your own rooms, It will just cause to many questions if you keep disappearing or coming back late at night.'

'Albus, Thorn tower -'

'Hasn't been used since the last war, yes I know Minerva, but It's about time we get it back open.'

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'I can't believe you've got your own rooms!'

'You know we've got to have a sleepover and christen the new place.'

'Party!'

'Guys calm down! We can go see it later when Dumbledore has cleared it out. It hasn't been used since the last war apparently. Never even knew it existed. Is it on the map.'

'Yeah but know body knows where the entrance is.'

Hermione was in the Gryffindor common room with Harry, Ron and Ginny, she had just finished telling them about her new rooms. Harry leaned over and whispered in her ear.

'At least we can have some privacy from our dorms and common room.'

Hermione smirked.

'You wish Potter.'

Harry faked a look of hurt, but that look soon washed away with a kiss from Hermione.

Somebody cleared their throat behind them.

'Miss Granger, would you like to see your room?'

The four of them looked up into the faces of Snape, McGonagal and Dumbledore.

'Sure, can these three come?'

Dumbledore nodded and the 7 of them made their way out of Gryffindor tower.

'Is it far?'

'Actually no.'

Once outside the portrait, Instead of walking down the corridor, he turned back to the portrait and said.

'Blue roses.'

Instead of the portrait opening from the right like it usually does, it opened from the left, showing a completely different tower.

'Well we don't have to travel far now do we?'

The four Gryffindors followed their professors up a spiral stair case and into Hermione's new residence.

At the top of the stairs the walked into a small living room. Hermione gasped at the colour choice, red and silver.

'- how did you?'

Dumbledore's eyes just twinkled in response.

(Ok I would go into detail about all the rooms, but who wants to read that. All you need to know is that its got a decent sized bedroom, bathroom, and a lounge. The lounge is red and silver. Bathroom black and white and her bedroom blue and white.)

The professors left to let Hermione get settled in. The second the heard the portrait close Hermione let out a scream.

'Can you believe this! Look at it! It's amazing!'

She danced around the rooms, running in and out, touching and feeling everything she could. Her friends laughed at her child like behaviour. It had been a long time since they'd seen Hermione like this.

'Look at the view, wow, you can see Hagrid's, the lake and the quidditch pitch!'

'Sweetheart calm down!'

'No! This just brightens my day right up! I had such a shitty morning and -'

The letter she still hadn't told Harry.

'Actually, guys could you give me and Harry and minute. We need to talk.'

'Ok sure, come down to dinner when your ready.'

Harry stood confused in the middle of the room watching Ginny and Ron leave Thorn tower.

'I thought you'd never ask them to leave.'

He put his hands on her waist and leaned in to kiss her. But Hermione turned her head.

'Mi? What is it?'

'Harry I have to tell you something.'

'What?'

'I got a letter this morning. From Voldermort.'

I know it wasn't the best chapter but it will do!

**A.N That's it my lovelies, that's your lot for this chapter! Review and I might update sooner than you think!**


	17. Chapter 17: Angry Harry, Sensitive Snape

I only want to be accepted

Chapter 17: Angry Harry and a sensitive Snape?

A.N 1.wow, you guys have no idea how bad I feel about leaving it so long between my updates but so much has gone on… I had exams, then I went on holiday, then my nan went into hospital, then I went back to college, then I was in hospital egh I'm so sorry.

2. I know this chapter isn't very long, but I didn't want to put it with the next one because then that would be too long. I'm sorry If its not what you want but I promise not to wait forever with the next update.

3. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it would take me a lifetime to thank everyone individually! Thanks again!

Recap:

'_Harry I have to tell you something.'_

'_What?'_

'_I got a letter this morning. From Voldermort.'_

Dreading what might come now, Hermione pulled away from Harry arms and stood a few feet away from him. Honestly was the best policy right? Some how she didn't think that was true now. Perhaps Ignorance is bliss is better fitting?

'Hermione -

' - You've got to understand Harry that this sort of thing is to be expected from him, and it's part of my mission and I have to do what he wants -'

'- Hermione.'

'- and Harry I know I've put this relationship through so much already, and I can totally

understand if your mad - '

'HERMIONE!'

She turned to face him. He stood but inches from her, looking into her face as he tried to hide the confusing thoughts and possible things said in that letter. Pushing away the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't want to be angry, but just seeing the guilt in her eyes, a familiar feeling of rage boiled up inside of him

'Harry…'

'Show me.'

She shook her head. That would be like putting their relationship in a noose. Not something she was going to do.

'No Harry I can't'

'Hermione I want to see it.'

'Harry Please.'

'Hermione, you mean everything to me, I don't like secrets, please just show me the letter.'

How could she say no? He's stood by her though so much already and she'd been there for him for everything. Did she honestly think this relationship could last much longer anyway? With her position? There was only so much he could take.

Hermione reached into her back pocket and pulled the letter out.

'I-I have to read it too you. It's charmed.'

And she began. She didn't dare look into his face as she read it, but she could feel what he went through. The disgust, the repulsion. The hurt. Finally as she folded the letter back up, she boldly raised her head to see him.

'Harry -'

' - You know, it's just one thing after another isn't? The second I have something right in my life, the twisted bastard always finds away to screw it up! It's funny really, I should learn -'

Hermione approached Harry. He was become frantic. She placed a hand on his arm.

' - No Hermione. I shouldn't have anything, that way he can't fuck it up. Or fuck _it_ in your case.'

Taken back was an understatement for Hermione. She knew he was hurting, she knew he was upset, but nothing prepared her for the look of pure disgust he gave her.

'I can't be around you.'

Hermione reached for his hand.

'No Harry, please don't go. Can we just talk?'

'Talk? Ok lets talk Hermione. I thought I could handle you being his play thing, I thought I could handle you dressing like a complete whore, but you know what I can't. No, I won't. I have to think about where we stand Hermione.'

It was like ice, sliding down her throat. Hot distressing tears burning the back of eyes, white burning needles piercing her skin, making her shake.

'Harry please don't leave like this.'

But by the time the first tear had dropped, the portrait hole had slammed closed.

She'd never felt more alone. This was the first time that she actually regretted taking the mission, shed lost her boyfriend, shed lost her best friend.

_No, no I haven't. I'm not letting this go without a fight I can't._

She whipped the tears from her eyes and threw the portrait open. He wouldn't go to the common room, too many people, they'd be training on the quidditch pitch so he wouldn't be flying, he probably be at Hagrid's.

She ran though the corridors, the sly tear falling from her face, determined to find Harry, to explain.

'MISS GRANGER!'

Hermione spun around and found herself face to face with professor Snape.

'What do you think you are doing?'

'I-I, I- erm.'

'Well spit it out girl.'

She couldn't. The only thing she could do was cry. Her hands began to shake. Her mouth started to tremble, the tears fell.

'Miss Granger stop you blubbering at once.'

The next thing she knew she was standing outside the fat lady again, Snape by her side.

'Blue roses.'

'O child, are you ok?'

'Blue roses.'

'Professor what happened to her?'

'Dam it woman blue roses!'

'Ok, I was just concerned.'

Hermione was gently pushed back into the incident room, a cup of tea in her hands and being guided to her sofa.

'I-I-I d-d-don't think I-I-I can d-d-o it professor. I'm sorry, but I can't.'

'Miss Granger, Hermione. You are not making any sense. Stop your whimpering and tell me what got you in such a hysterical state.'

'Harry….Letter…mad…Voldermort…it hurts.'

Snape shook his head, it had been a long day and he really didn't need a teenage girl crying inhis presence.

'You told Potter about the letter and he didn't like it.'

Hermione merely nodded.

'And you can't do what?'

Hermione sniffed and held her head up.

'I don't think I'm strong enough to carry on with this mission. I'm upsetting so many people and I'm tired already. I'm tired of the lies and the hurt. Someone else should do it. I'm just not powerful enough to do it.'

'Mis-Hermione. What I'm about to say to you does not leave this room got it?'

'Yes sir.'

'You are a very talented witch. More talented than half of the dunderheads I teach put together and the fact that you are muggle born gives you even more of an advantage. Most pureblood Wizards would never be able to live in two world, survive in two different cultures, but you Hermione can ease into either world with no trouble. As much as it pains me to say It, your not a Gryffindor for nothing.

Something most Slytherin's lack is the courage to help others, Hermione you've stood by Potter and Weasley for years when you shouldn't have. You, personally have gone through more by the age of 17 in both worlds than most fully grown wizards or muggles for that matter. If you can over come all the hardship thrown at you, at school, at home wherever, then I have no doubt that you can over come this…this setback with Potter. The boy is a fool -'

'- hey.'

'Hermione, the boy is a fool. He wears his emotions on his sleeves, that is his weakness, and apart from just then, I've never seen you loose control like that. You are a very strong witch Hermione, I've seen some of what you can do. You have a lot of potential and I have every confidence that you'll prove well on this mission. I'm not going to lie to you, things are only going to get harder, but you cannot back down now. If you back down, then you'll do it for the rest of your life. Potter will come round and in the mean time you need to suck it up and carry on.'

'Professor!'

'I know that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. If I could have picked one person for this mission, it would have been you without a doubt. Nobody else can stand tall and proud after being pushed to their limits. But I think you haven't been pushed enough yet, and I'm not going to let you back down. If Potter doesn't like what your doing it is his problem not yours, you are doing this for our world, for him.'

'Yeah, yeah your right. Thank you professor.'

'Yes, well you are welcome Miss Granger.'

Her potions professor rose from his seat on the sofa and made his way over to the exit. Pulling open the portrait, he was meet with a shocked Harry.

'Professor Snape?'

'Mr Potter. Excuse me.'

'Wh-what are you doing in Hermione's rooms?'

'That is not your business. 10 points from Gryffindor for obstructing a teacher. Move.'

'Professor!'

The two men turned to see Hermione approaching the hole behind Professor Snape.

'Good day Miss Granger. Potter.'

With that, the professor brushed passed them and made his way back down the corridor towards his dungeons.

'What was Snape doing here?'

'I don't think that concerns you does it? What do you want?'

'Can I come in?'

Hermione moved aside and let him in.

The pair stood opposite each other, staring at anything but one another.

'Harry why are you here? You made yourself perfectly clear earlier.'

'Hermione I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you, it wasn't fair. I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad at him and I know that it's not your fault. I'm sorry.'

'You hurt me Harry. You made it out like it was fun what I'm doing, like I actually enjoy it.'

'I know.'

He grabbed her hands and made her look at him. She could sense the guilt and remorse from him. He was truly sorry.

'Sweetheart, I am really sorry. Please forgive me. But I understand If you don't want to -'

' - shh. Let me talk. We're both strong people, and I think that we'll be ok. But we both have to be understanding. You can't be like this at everything that happens, and I have to not rub it in your face, this can't, no this won't come between us.'

Harry wrapped his arms around her shoulders, Hermione snaked her arms around his waist.

'We'll get through this right? It'll be ok?'

Hermione nodded into his chest. She hope it would be ok. She hoped.

Ok, now I no it wasn't the longest of chapters but I'm planning on something big so its just a lil build up! I promise to get the next one up soon!

Raven

-x-


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